Brits Pound Brew, Smell Nice Too!

By CC Staff

This summer I’m proud to say I actually did a couple things with my life, including a relaxing week-long vacation in London with only the very best of sidekicks, my awkwardly hilarious sister.

Lucky for us, two chickadees who tend to violently swat the air when someone’s smoking a ciggy nearby, we arrived on the exact day that smoking was banned in any public restaurant, pub, or place. This ban was lucky for two secondhand smoke sneering tourists, not so lucky for stinky smelly pubs across Britain.

You know how strong the scent of smoke is? And how it seems to linger in the air seemingly forever? It’s like a bad beer-goggled hook up that you continously run into on campus, or a stage 5 clinger if you will. Well this permanent scent surprisingly turned out to be an asset in most England pubs, masking the stink of much worse odors, like stale beer and food, sweat, even deadly dreaded B.O. Yucky!

So what are the Brits doing to solve this stinker? Perfume.

Pub owners have begun pumping fragrances like leather, (“Evening mademoiselle, veelcome to our luxuuurious pub, might I interest you in a delectable tequila shot?“) fresh cut grass, and ocean breeze into their bars. What a treat it would be to enjoy a gin & tonic and simultaneously realize I’ve forgotten to mow the lawn. Though I suppose anything is better than beer with a splash of b.o.

Who knows, maybe the Brits’ fragrance line will give SJP’s Covet a run for its money. Or maybe the Brits should nix the ocean breeze aroma and just set aside the pub crawl ’til the next time they have a cold.

Stuffy nose, good booze, everyone’s happy!