How To Be a Pick-Up Artist (hint: dress like an ass)

August 12, 2007 - 7:29 pm By Jess - NYU

If a guy wearing a big furry hat, black nail polish, and eyeliner thicker than yours walked up to you in a bar and threw insults your way, would you suddenly become weak-kneed and fall into his arms?

Me either.

But apparently, a lot of women do. Which is why there’s a new show on VH1 called The Pick-Up Artist, starring one of the worst dressed men I’ve ever seen in my life, Mystery.

Yes. That’s the name he wants the world to call him.

Evidently, Mystery (God, it’s so hard to type that) is one of the best Pick-Up Artists in the world (How was this decided? Was there a Pick-Up Artist Olympics?), and he wants to share his tips and tricks with a bunch of viginy losers of national television. Mystery guarantees he will change these men’s lives, while making them irresistible to the ladies.

I was only able to catch half an episode (there’s only been one so far), but from what I saw, the 8 contestants were definitely socially defunct, and Mystery and his henchmen are stuck in the 90’s (anyone who thinks a tiny soul patch and hair paint is a good idea deserves to be punched). Some of Mystery’s techniques may help his students in the long run, but I was so deeply disturbed by the man’s fashion sense that I could hardly able to concentrate on what the episode was about.

He wears a hat with fuzz on it. A hat with fuzz. On it. No matter how smooth a guy is, if he comes up to me wearing a fuzzy hat—and taking it seriously—I will not talk to him. Period. I don’t even need to know what he has to say. It’s already obvious we won’t get along.

As much as the idea of this show makes me cringe, I may just have to watch it. Simply because I must know if that hat is worn into bars with success.

Diana - NYU says:
Sun, 12th Aug 200711:43 am

Fashion sense aside…I’d totally do him.

I need therapy.

Mary Q says:
Sun, 12th Aug 200712:23 pm

Really? I thought about it b/c of his confidence and absolute shamelessness – but then it seemed like doing Carrot Top. It’d be fun for the moment, but if I had to wake up the next morning next to him – just might go the hemlock route.

Jess - NYU says:
Fri, 17th Aug 20074:03 pm

skunks get reactions from me too, boys.

that doesn’t mean I want to date them.

Jonathan says:
Mon, 20th Aug 200711:07 pm

just one question girls.. honestly what do you weigh?

dev says:
Wed, 19th Sep 200711:54 pm

Seeing as you disqualify men, believing their fashion sense is inferior to yours [read: big glasses, big belts, stupid plain dresses], I’d venture to guess you are a bit frustrated with your love life.

Don’t worry, though, I frequent Washington Square

Mike says:
Thu, 27th Sep 200710:55 pm

Mystery is revolutionary. He’s able to methodically break down all of human social interactions, specifically courtship, into one simple and easy model for men to understand. Don’t hate on this man because he has many sexual partners. What this man is doing obviously works.

I just love how you say “I would never give this guy a chance in hell.” The funny thing is, he probably doesn’t give a shit. He can have sex with women who are perfect 10s. Oh well, misery loves company, and I guess the author of this article is no exception.

alex says:
Wed, 12th Mar 20082:29 pm

i have been a pua for a few years, way before the show or the book “the game”

this is called peacocking. It’s job is to get attention, which it has done with you. If you hate the way he looks, then you will pay more attention to him and attraction will be easier than if you ignored him. enough said.

PUAforLIFE says:
Wed, 19th Nov 200810:17 pm

The ones that say that they will never fall into their GAME are the easiest ones.Let me give you a HINT if the man seems like the guy of your dreams hes probably a PUA aka Pick Up Artist in realaty.He learn how to be the man of your dreams.If it wasent for him you’ll probably never find the man that your conciouse secretrly wants with out you realizing it.