Britney Gets Served, Turns to Hallmark for Help

August 13, 2007 - 5:30 pm By Jess - NYU

britney spears alli simsIf you had told me two years ago that K-Fed would turn out to be the responsible one in the relationship he had with Britney, I would have asked you how many times you listened to Popozao, how loud your speakers were when you did so, and if your brain had been mutilated in the process.

But I would have wrongly insulted you, because Kevin is certainly turning out to be the best thing his kids can hope for.

A few days ago, K-Dawg began serving papers to a few close acquaintances of Britney, cousin Alli Sims being one of them. The horrible rapper’s lawyers claim many more “acquaintances” of Spears will be served, body guards and nannies most likely included.

After hearing the bad news, Britney went out and did what any certifiably insane person would do; cruised a drugstore for cheap candles and a $12.95 Hallmark gift book entitled “50 Truths Worth Knowing”.

Here’s a truth worth knowing for you, Brit. Salvation ain’t gonna come in mass produced volume of crap. Get outta the drugstore and into rehab before your lame ex-husband becomes less lame than you.

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One Comment on "Britney Gets Served, Turns to Hallmark for Help"

  1. Steff says:
    Mon, 13th Aug 200711:03 pm 

    I guess its just a lose/lose scenario for the kids. As much as one parent sucks, you know the other isnt gonna be any better. This is all of course from an outside point of view just like everyone else..but comeon-you know kfed isnt ever gonna be a “reformed caring father figure”

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