My Boyfriend is Having an Affair With an Avatar?

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I have never played Second Life, and had no idea what it was until a few months ago. Computer games aren’t my thing. They make me feel like I have anger issues, and I can’t stare at a screen for hours without going cross-eyed.

Plus, I’m not all that into living a giant lie.

But some people really dig it. They dig it so much that they spend hours and hours online, living life as an “avatar” and forming relationships with people they’ll never actually see. Like Ric Hoogestraat, a guy from Arizona who is so obsessed with his online life, he ignores his real wife for an animated one.

The Wall Street Journal (for once not being conservative and boring) recently ran an article about Ric and others like him, people so caught up in computer games that they prefer them to reality. Even though Ric insists that the women he married online is simply part of the game, his wife doesn’t like the situation one bit.

And I completely understand.

Now, I know people can become addicted to computer games like poker or drinking, but it’s hard for me to understand a dependence on animated fantasy. Is there true satisfaction in building a hot cartoon version of yourself and “acting” with a keyboard? And for the love of god, why would you spend actual money (in Second Life’s case) on cyber stuff? Buy yourself some social interaction classes, hire a hooker, just spend your cash on something real!

And as for a spouse or boyfriend having an online “relationship” while he’s dating me? Not just unacceptable, but plain old creepy.

The real world can be tough, I’ll admit to that, but locking yourself away in a room for 12 hours a day isn’t going to make your life any easier. In fact, I’m pretty sure it will make it much, much lonelier.

…and a lot more oddly pixilated.

6 Comments on "My Boyfriend is Having an Affair With an Avatar?"

  1. jennifer44 says:
    Mon, 13th Aug 20071:42 pm 

    seems pretty harmless as long as you don’t get cyberAIDS.

  2. greg says:
    Mon, 13th Aug 20077:46 pm 

    People who play Second Life seem not to have much of a first life in the first place.

  3. Suna says:
    Mon, 13th Aug 200710:45 pm 

    Cyber relationships are much like meeting in the real world. However, the emotions put into an on-line relationship can be seen many different ways .

    Some people have met thru games and then in the real world going on to being marrried and at the other end of the spectrum are those that are acting a role like one in a movie seperating on line activities from the real world in thier minds.

    Being somewhat of a shut-in by a disability I can say that you can form friendships or more if that is desired but just because someone uses an avatar to speak with others does not mean they are looking for a cyber-sex relationship. Tho if I were dating soneone that spent as much time on-line as I do I’d want to sit with them to see and meet the avatars of the people they spend time with before coming to judgement. In fact I think that it may serve you to go into the games yourself (second life can be entered free) and find your significant other without telling them. Even tho people sometimes act differently when the face is hidden from view you may be surprised to see it may be closer to what they really think of themselves.

  4. Barbara says:
    Tue, 14th Aug 20077:01 am 

    Personally, I do not understand why anyone would want to spent 12 hours in a fantasy world. What does he have to loss his mind and reality plus a wonderful wife who cares very much for him. You need to date more and do things together outside of the home. Be with real people you know are alive and not imitations of life. I feel very sorry for you being put in such a peculiar position.

    Good Luck.

  5. Druox says:
    Wed, 15th Aug 200712:05 pm 

    The reason people prefer fantasy worlds: Racism, Bigotry, Differences, Girls, Boys, Friends, Enemys can all be killed. And you don’t get in trouble with the law! It’s flawless!

    Besides, in today’s world, fantasy is reality =/

    It’s unfoprtunate, but true =/

  6. Laura says:
    Sat, 1st Sep 20072:08 pm 

    Dating a conservative.

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