Russia declares National Day of Make Baby Sexy Time

Ahh the Russians. I do love them.

Amazing vodka, awful food and some of the most wonderful people I have ever met, despite the fact that they don’t smile very often.

And at a time when I am trying my hardest to NOT procreate, the Russians are giving away cars, televisions, refrigerators and washing machines to those that do. Oh, Russia you are grand.

September 12 has been declared The Day of Conception and couples whose children are born on June 12, Russia’s National Day, will win prizes. They even get a day off just to do it. Russians are very proud of their country.

The thing that is slightly alarming is the fact that many of the Russian children I worked with while I visited were orphans. And many of their parents were still alive but just could not afford to feed, house and clothe their children.

And Russia isn’t exactly a country of grand eloquence. The summer camp I worked in was nice according to Russian standards—many of the regular campers (the orphans spent the entire summer there but didn’t really participate in camp wide activities) were of Saint Petersburg’s economical elite. And this summer camp was way, way below any of America’s standard summer camps.

Trust me when I say that it just wasn’t like anything you could ever fathom.

So to the Russians attempting to birth their children on Russia’s National Day, I say good luck. A washing machine is quite a thing to have in Russia. Most people wash their clothes by hand after wearing them until they are actually dirty (usually 2 or 3 days in a row).

But to them I also beg that they be able to care for their kids. The two orphans I created a particular bond with are now 16 and out on their own. It would be a shame for that to happen to other children because of a country’s desire to increase their citizenship. A real shame.