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The Dreaded Long Distance Relationship

It’s a well-documented fact that it’s an awful decision to carry a long distance relationship into your first year of college.

You have the opportunity to experience freedom for the first time; are you really going to waste the first of the four best years of our life in the corner of your dorm room whispering sweet nothings into your guy’s ear, and teasing him about all the things you’re going to do to him the next time you see him, which could very well be months from now? Of course not.

Freshman year of college is where long distance relationships go to die. And that’s exactly the way it should be.

Along those lines, I’m also very opposed to carrying on a long distance relationship while in the midst of your four years of college. I just don’t see how it behooves anyone to spend their college years not maximizing their fun because they’re too busy longing for a loved one who is hundreds of miles away.

But what happens to relationships after college is far more of a gray area. You’re older. You’ve probably tired of going home with the best-looking, sloppy drunk that gives you the most attention at Last Call. And in many cases, you’re graduating with a guy that you’ve been with for a year or longer.

On the other hand, you’re still only 22 years old and moving to whatever urban area provides you with the best opportunity to jump-start your career. What if your guy doesn’t share your plans? You could be moving to Chicago, and he wants to move to LA. Worse yet, you guys are from two very different parts of the country, and neither of you can imagine living in any other city than the one you called home growing up. What’s the correct course of action?

Take it from a guy who’s been there. If you and your man are moving to different places, the best move is to leave that college relationship in college.

Thousands of couples are forced to make this decision every spring, and more often than not, the decision is made to stay together. And except in the rarest of cases, those couples never make it. Why? Think about from your guy’s perspective. You could be the hottest girl in the world, but do you honestly think that’s going to keep your man’s eye from wandering when he’s a thousand miles away with a new job and surrounded by happy-hour loving coworkers? Do you really believe that your twice-a-month visits (at most) will keep him satisfied enough to never consider straying, especially when the likelihood that you’d ever find out are minimal at best? Are you really not going to get jealous when you’re ready to have your nightly 30 minute phone call before bed but he won’t pick up the phone for reasons passing understanding?

Recent graduates simply have too much going on in their new lives to be concentrating all their efforts into a long distance relationship. Guys are finally entering our sexual peeks, and are often eager to take advantage of no longer being confined by the social bubble that our college campuses create. And let’s not kid ourselves ladies… you girls are just as eager to break out into the world, and open yourselves up to meeting that hot older guy that you’ve longed for since sophomore year, when you got sick of all the “immature boys” your own age.

Let it go.

You’ll always have the memories to hold onto. And in the long run, splitting up is going to make both of your lives substantially easier. Think about this way. If you guys are really that much in love, you wouldn’t be moving to different places to begin with. One of you would be willing to make the geographical sacrifice. If that’s not happening, take it as a sign that your relationship was great in college, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it forever remaining that way.

Candy -- NYUCOLLEGECANDY Writer