Take out your laptops it’s time for Cyber Safety!

By Candy

Hey, remember those days when you took a computer class to help you learn how to navigate the Internet and use that thing called Microsoft Word? And then there were those advanced classes (my middle school class called it Careers…ahah) that taught you how to use Excel. The best part of it all was that our woodshop class was called Technology.

I mean, did anyone else learn to use a computer on one of those really old Macs? You know the kind with the ACTUALLY FLOPPY disks that supported the original version of Oregon Trail? And they were that cream color with the black screen and blinking green cursor and the multi colored apple?

Can a sister get an Amen or am I just getting really old??

Sadly, the nostalgia days are over. I’m pretty sure that in today’s age, babies pop out of the womb typing on a keyboard and surfing the World Wide Web (Remember when you learned that that was what the www stood for?? Sigh.)

And since we’re all totally fucked up these days and kids no longer push each other on the playground but instead use their tiny little fingers to do the dirty work, schools now feel the need to implement cyber safety and ethics lessons into the US Curriculum. And this shit is funny!

Below, the guidelines that the National Cyber Security Alliance outlined in this article, called the ‘C3 Principles’ of Cyber ethics, safety and security:

-Cyber Ethics Lessons which teach that hacking into someone’s computer and taking information is just as wrong as breaking into someone else’s home.

-Cyber Bullying which is just as wrong as bullying someone on the playground

-Cyber Safety Lessons which incorporate social behaviour tips to protect children from online dangers, such as cyber-predators, harassment, unwanted communications and cyber-bullies

-Cyber Security Lessons which provide information on how to secure computers, identities and financial information

Wouldn’t it just be easier to tell the kids that giving out your information is bad, there are people on the internet that will steal your money and try to have sex with you and that being a bitch is wrong! Just scare the beejezus out of ‘em! That should work. And it should save the teachers a whole lot of bullshit time when they should be teaching their kids… I don’t know STUFF.