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Dating Deal-Breakers
The more I date, the better I’ve gotten to know myself and what I can and can’t put up with in a relationship.
A Star Wars obsession? Been there, done that, have the t-shirt (no, really, I do.)
Bad speller? Sorry, can’t handle it. (Seriously, I just don’t understand how a grown man can go through high school and college without ever learning and retaining the difference between “there” and “their.”)
But at what point does a list of deal-breakers eliminate 100% of the male population? I have a friend who will only date Jewish doctors or lawyers that speak Russian, though she prefers for them to come from a Russian family. They must be taller than her, not much older, and certainly not younger.
And of course, then there are the things that we all want, like someone interesting, smart, kind, and other generic adjectives.
I can’t really blame my friend if she wants to date someone with a similar background and financial stability, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if she has a hard time finding men that fulfill all of her requirements. Then again, I’m the one turning down dates on the basis of bad punctuation.
My other deal-breakers? Someone who hates his job or the career path he’s on, is rude to waiters, and, when asked what his favorite book is, answers “I don’t read.”
I’m open to all backgrounds and cultures, but bad teeth are a no-no. I’ve dealt with back hair that resembles a sweater, but the bells and whistles below better be taken care of. Spare tire? I’ll deal. But if you’re wearing a polo shirt with a popped collar, I’m running the other way.
Am I insane to think this passionate, interesting, well-read, spell-check using, t-shirt wearing, tooth-brusher and junk-groomer exists, or am I being unrealistically picky?
What are your deal-breakers? Let’s hear them!
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hernameisaphrodite says:
Tue, 28th Aug 20072:51 pm
I totally agree with the spelling thing.. I think it's the most disappointing thing ever when I talk to some cute guy on AIM and he has the spelling skills of.. your average teenage AOLer.
I can excuse lack of punctuation or capitalization but u for you? u bttr fidn sum1 else thx
Back hair.. no. I hate hair.
Also, guy can't have hair longer than mine. I have pretty long hair though.
If he doesn't read books at least once in awhile and he doesn't have any appreciation of good literature that's a pretty big deal to me.
Ellie says:
Tue, 28th Aug 20073:16 pm
If he's too huggy right off the bat…I need personal space.
If he gets high extremely often.
Ugly facial hair…ew ew ew.
Being unable to make a decision and forcing me to do everything.
Being unappreciative of music.
and probably a million other things as well, but those are the main ones I can think of.
Andrew - University of Michigan says:
Tue, 28th Aug 20075:42 pm
- Someone who apologizes incessantly when there’s never a reason to be sorry. Drives me bonkers.
- Girls who treat dates as if they’re being interviewed, and only speak when spoken to. It happens more than you’d think. I swear.
- And I’m right there with you on the grooming issue. If I wanted to navigate through a jungle, I’d travel to the Amazon.
Meg says:
Sun, 16th Sep 20074:33 pm
Guys who say BONKERS.
Guys who add syllable onto words (i.e. "funner" and "orientated")
Those who insist on getting shamelessly drunk. You look like a fool, and its not sexy when you stumble.
Also, guys who expect girls to giggle and look pretty when they are acting like complete tool-bags.
MizzTissa Shoe Blog says:
Sun, 1st Jun 20088:44 am
Let's not forget smell!
And nerd factor
Or how about over confident – ewww
Or when everything is a competition…
My .02
MT
http://www.mizztissa.com/blog/
Whatever says:
Wed, 27th Oct 201010:27 am
-Guys who get bossy/ personal way too fast. I'm not doing/changing a whole lot for a first date guy
-Guys who are entirely unplayful. If he doesn't want to have a tickle fight or wrestle over the remote, it's not going to work out
-Expects me to be cool with him smoking anything in front of me. I don't care if you like, I like my lungs and you have plenty of free time
-They can't keep up in a flirty banter. If they get lost real fast or don't understand any of the allusions i'm throwing out, it's over
-Super competitive, and not just with other guys. Sure it's hot when they get their inner cave man on, but it's called playing, don't turn it into some dominance issue
-Constantly need reassurance. If i'm over you i wouldn't still be here, so assume i'm into you and lets have fun!
-oh and if they think they have a catch phrase. Saying the same thing over and over is never hot
younger isn't ideal but not necessarily a deal breaker, and i honestly love guys with long hair, as long as they take care of it
Frederique says:
Tue, 13th Sep 20112:35 pm
My dealbreakers are:
- Someone who ISN'T a nerd
- Someone who drinks a lot, smokes or does drugs
- Someone who spends a lot of time trying to make their body look more attractive to the general female population. This includes things like… Working out, tanning or shaving the entire body.
- Someone who has had one-night stands or has been in a relationship with a lot of girls before. Two out of the three guys I've dated fell in this category, but I never really managed to feel comfortable around them.
- And yeah, have to agree with you about the spelling thing. When I'm on IRC, I don't want to feel like I'm chatting with a middle school student.