Perez Hilton: Just Another Annoying Celebrity?

Perez.

By Jess

He’s done a lot for us over the years. Taking down annoying starlets one vajayjay flash at a time, dragging certain stars out of the closet, giving us up-to-the-minute Lindsay Lohan rehab news, and forcing a bit of humor out of that self-important land called Hollywood.

After learning about his site a year ago, I find myself checking it almost daily, needing my fix of A, B, and C-list celebrities like a smoker needs that after dinner cig.

I can’t help it, Perez and his mysterious “sources” have me hooked.

Starting out from a nobody and becoming a giant somebody isn’t easy, and Perez (a.k.a Mario Armando Lavandeira) has certainly climbed his way from unknown to a celebrity in his own right. That being said, I can’t help but notice the irony of a guy who makes a living bashing the overexposed saturating the media himself.

He’s everywhere now. In magazines, in major newspapers, all over the talk-show circuit, even featured in a hideous-looking new show on MTV called Celebrity Rap Superstars. The man who used to be just like us—a regular person gawking at the famous people—is now more like the celebrities he draws penises on.

Far be it from me to begrudge anyone newfound fame, but you have to wonder what Perez would say about himself on his website.

Would he call himself a horrible dresser? A fame whore? Untalented? If the Perez of two years ago wasn’t connected to Perez of today, would he call him out on his own shameless self-promotion?

Hard to say, since the queen of gossip chooses who he likes and dislikes on a semi-random basis. But honestly, there isn’t much more the man can do to increase his illustriousness—except maybe start his own fashion line (which, judging by certain pictures, I would hope never happens).

While I’m still a fan of his website, I can’t say that Perez is winning any points with me when it comes to his everywhere-ness. His stage presence isn’t fantastic, and he’s so much funnier in Microsoft Paint.

…However, if those Fidel-is-Dead-I-Swear posts finally become legitimized (like he swears they will), I might just have to bow down to the electric haired guru as being a media superstar deserving of all that attention.