He may have tried to keep sexual orientation out of the definition of hate crimes and voted against same sex marriage, but an Idaho Republican senator really does love the gays—for discrete bathroom romps.

Larry Craig, who until Monday was a key player in Massachusetts’s governor Mitt Romney’s 2008 presidential bid, recently separated himself from the campaign for being a possible “distraction”.

Why would old Mr. Craig be a distraction?

Well, it seems that in June, he was apprehended by a plainclothes officer “investigating complaints of lewd behavior in an airport men’s room”.

The officer reported that the 62-year-old Republican “lingered outside a restroom stall where the officer was sitting, then entered the stall next door and blocked the door with his luggage.” The officer went on to explain that Craig then “tapped his right foot”, which is apparently a signal “used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct.”

To make sure he got his point across, Craig “touched the officer’ foot with his foot” and “proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times” after which the plainclothes officer put his police identification on the ground, no doubt causing Craig to lose any sort of pocket party he may have been fostering. Read More »

Lately, it seems everywhere you turn people are turning green. Not nausea induced green (though that may be true if you are enjoying a nice long Welcome Week and hangovers abound), but earth-friendly green.

Whether it be celebrities like Leo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt or the aisles upon aisles of green products at stores around the country, saving the planet isn’t just for tree-huggers anymore.

And as you hear about all the celebs buying Hybrid cars and cities banning bottled water due to the excessive amounts of waste they create, you have to stop and wonder what your impact on the planet is.

Most likely: it isn’t good. Read More »

Some used-to-be Hollywood publicist is playing havoc with my mind.

First, he infiltrates my deepest fears by claiming Jake Gyllenhaal is gay, then he goes on to say the love of my life is expecting a baby with his boyfriend in a month!

Apparently, Jakey has been dating the same guy for years (although no one’s clear on who the mystery boyfriend is) and is preparing to come out “some time by the end of next month” so he can celebrate his new bundle of joy with a clear conscience. Read More »

After her less-than-stellar answer to a simple question concerning maps during the “Miss Teen USA” pageant Lauren Caitlin Upton appeared on the Today show to redeem herself.

Matt Lauer and Ann Curry, ever the defenders, hand-fed South Carolina’s finest cartographer her dignity by strategically answering the questions they asked before Upton had a chance to.

Curry: “…And it was the first time you had actually been on national television. Here you were competing and it was…it was…just one of those moments when you were asked this question…I’m sure everything came at you at once.”

Upton: “Yes. Everything did come at me at once.”

Moments later Lauer chimed in with an assist:

Lauer: “Please don’t let it get you down. I mean…and I know the fact that it’s on YouTube and a lot of people are watching it right now probably has to be a double-edged sword. On the one hand you think it’s kind of funny; on the other hand it’s not all that funny to you, is it?”

Upton: “Um, no, but then again looking back on it I am sitting here laughing at myself.” Read More »

Okay, Justin-Bobby, if that is even your real name, let’s talk. You don’t like me because I don’t like you. But, I can’t help it; when you wear swim shorts and a pair of army boots, what choice do I have?

When you ignore the obvious plight of your hair, what do you expect me to do? Sit back and let you believe girls like those greasy locks?

Maybe I could have let it go if you weren’t such an asshole. Maybe if you didn’t just say all those nice-ish (in your own special way) things to Audrina and then leave her at the party.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just a helmet. On a couch.

Fuck you.

But enough about you. There are much bigger things to discuss this week.

Namely: Spencer’s visit to Colorado and Brody’s Beach Partayy.

Visiting Mount Butt: Am I alone in this? Did everyone but me know that Heidi comes from a farm? Like a real farm! Not just a small town; there were ANIMALS at her house. How could a family that raises horses produce that bleached blonde, fake boobed bimbo? I just don’t understand it. Read More »

There is one fashion trend that I hate more than anything—more than denim skirts with Uggs, more than Crocs, even more than inappropriately tight, super low-rise jeans on women that shouldn’t be wearing them (basically, anyone besides supermodels.)

Message t-shirts.

If you’ve ever stepped foot in a mall, high school, or a club on “teen night,” you’ve probably witnessed this eye sore. What’s the big deal about words on a t-shirt? Message t-shirts are chosen deliberately and carefully, which is why I cannot forgive them.

Too-tight jeans? Maybe you’re just in denial about your muffin top.

Uggs? Perhaps you mistakenly think they look good.

Crocs? Blindness, I assume.

But message t-shirts actually anger me. What kind of girl is perusing the racks at Hot Topic and deciding that she wants to let everyone know that she is a Beer Slut? And what does that even mean? Has anyone ever received positive attention for wearing a shirt that proudly proclaims, “My Boyfriend’s Out of Town”? Read More »

This is just too great for words, but I’ll try to come up with some anyway.

I guess it’s all coming back to the surface that a couple years ago, Enrique Iglesias said something about having a “small package.” In one of the magazines – either OK! he apparently was quoted saying,

“I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people – you know, from experience.”

Then, after the media got hold of this fantastic quote, he went back on what he said, saying,

“I meant I needed a penis reduction, not an enlargement! The people who wrote I had a small willy misunderstood.”

Okay, let’s not forget that Enrique Iglesias was popular for like, one hot minute back in 2000 when he was the Poor Man’s version of Ricky Martin….or maybe the less gay version….whatever, it doesn’t matter.

Neither of them are popular anymore. So this could all be some really strange plea for media attention. Not the kind of attention one would really want though…

Anyway, now condom companies are trying to get Mr. “Small Willy” (seriously, who uses the word “willy”?) to be the spokesperson for their smaller condoms! Like Lifestyle!

If that’s not embarrassing enough, “Lifestyles Wants to Dress Enrique’s Tiny Weiner” is about the only headline this guy has been makring since he removed his mole and broke up with the blond tennis player. Ouch. Read More »

Have something to talk about to all those new Freshmen you’re meeting this week. (NASA)

100 years, 170,000 cigarettes and she’s never inhaled. I admire this woman’s dedication. And ignorance. (UK Daily Mail)

The Japanese make everything look cool! Even these God-awful things! Wow! (Ping Mag)

This is just like Office Space except kind of more legal. It makes me feel warm inside. (PoliticalGateway.com)

Don’t worry guys, Nick Hogan is going to be okay. I’m pretty sure the Hulkster had something to do with it… (BumpShack)

AmGlad is back?! This is the best news I’ve heard since I found out Nick Hogan is going to be okay! C’mon everyone, grab your NERF guns and meet me in the backyard! (Best Week Ever)

Asexuality. Is it a real thing?

If so, what does it actually mean?

In an article by David Jay in American Sexuality Magazine, he explains what asexuality is, and how a person can have a satisfying relationship while identifying as an asexual individual. Jay should know—he’s speaking from first hand experience.

“One of the quirks of being asexual” Jay says, “is that classifying and prioritizing relationships becomes a mite tricky.” In his article, Jay explains how he sees himself as a bit of an ‘intimacy ho’.

Unlike some asexuals who prefer a solitary lifestyle, Jay admits to desiring relationships (sans the sex) from many, many different people.

Upon learning early on that a meaningful relationship had to include sex, Jay rebelled. There had to be a way, he thought, to feel what he wanted to feel without the socially inflicted constraints.

“It wasn’t long before my close friendships started to look and act like dating, and it wasn’t much longer until they broke away from that and started to become something else entirely” he writes.

“Relationships, I realized, can be fun, in much the same way that I imagine sex is fun for sexual folk. New types of pleasure started popping up all over, and it seemed like there would never be time to explore them all. They ran the gamut—from the intellectual to the physical, from the deeply empowering to the utterly frivolous.” Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 6

Current Mood: Confused

So, it’s almost been a week since I got here. A week and already it feels much longer. It must have something to do with living in the same place you to go to school at. You never leave anyone, so people and days just drift into each other to make this huge vague cloud of time.

Six days in, and its 50% great and 50% I want to turn around and go home. Part of that 50% of awesomeness is Sasha. The kid who sat next to me during orientation and who I’ve seen a few times since. He’s got a smile that makes me forget my name…and my ability to put words together to make a sentence.

I attempted to talk to him the first time at a bonfire that followed the ‘Welcome’ ceremony.

Standing with my roommates, shielding my face from smoke and wayward sticks piled high with marshmallows, I felt someone brush by me in an effort to get closer to the fire. Without looking I moved over, but stopped when I heard his voice.

“Hey. That speech took forever, huh?”

He was smiling at me again, a huge grin that took over his entire face. It was almost completely dark outside but I could still make out his smile. The first real friendly smile I had seen since coming to college. Read More »