Check out “Missed the Boat” by indie rockers Modest Mouse and get their album here!

Frat parties: after eight months of their splendor we swear them off for eternity. As soon as freshman year ends and we move out of the dorms we promise never to return to their sweaty sleazy goodness.

Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn?

Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?

Not me…or so I thought.

Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.

What’s the difference?

I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.

Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:

Frat

No Toilet Paper- some women have been forced to drip dry or–gasp!–use items such as leaves and notebook paper while taking care of business.

Bar

Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even been known to brush up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls. Read More »

Have you ever thought, “you know what? Screw traditional strapless bras, I want to squish my boobs into a semi-torture device!”

No? Well, someone has.

The Faveo Freedom Bra, invented by “scientist / business woman” Joanne Morgan, is supposedly the next best thing in undergarments, but looks to me like the next best thing in uncomfortable.

After buying a strapless dress and having no bra to wear with it, Morgan decided that instead of returning her purchase, she as going to whip something up herself. “I started to experiment with new ways to invent a bra.”

Morgan is quoted as saying, “I had my Eureka moment after a couple of glasses of wine.”

Her “Eureka moment” seems to consist mostly of a belty-strap thing that squeezes each individual boob and a piece of fabric that goes over the front. How this actually provides support or is even worth buying is beyond me, but maybe that’s just because I’m not a “scientist / business woman”.

Want to see more? Check out the instructional video after the jump! Read More »

Check out the former Pussycat Doll’s latest single, “Baby Love” and let us know what you think in the comments!

Recently I attended a faaaabulous champagne party.

Sure, the champagne was five bucks a bottle (Andre!) and most everyone was either making out or hugging the toilet, but I still felt quite classy in my white dress and uh, red Solo cup of champagne.

It got me to thinking about the wide world outside of beer. Which led me to discover the “world’s first canned wine.”

Thanks to a Buenos Aires distributor, Iron Wine is introducing this fabulous new twist on tipsy. Bottoms up!

Who wouldn’t love another fun way to drink wine? After all, repetitive Franzia rounds of slap the bag can fizzle the fun. Now you can shotgun the vino!

Unfortunately, despite the brag roll on the can that claims you can just crack open and chug-a-lug, I’ve heard it actually has a bit of a tinny taste if you don’t pour it into a glass. Read More »

Days as a Freshman: 40

Mood: Been better

“What’s up?”

Laughing, Sasha let Naima lead him over to Crystal and I. The speakers were booming, people were shouting, and my head was swimming. Everyone around me was drunk. Everyone around me was having a fantastic time at the first dance of the year.

But I was stone cold sober. And panicking. And inches away from the boy I was in love with.

“Grace seriously has something to tell you.” Naima laughed, looking at me and winking the most obvious wink anyone has ever seen in their life. “She would have called you over here herself but she’s too shy!”

Wiping a patch of sweaty hair from his forehead, Sasha looked at me and smiled. The way his eyes landed lazily on my face made it pretty obvious that he was in the same condition as my friends. “What’s up, Grace? You’re shy?”

“No! Naima is just grabbing anyone she can!” I yelled over the rumbling bass and did my best to mimic the sloshing movements of everyone else around me. Just because I wasn’t drunk didn’t mean I couldn’t pretend.

“She is?” Sasha tried to turn to find her, but Naima and Crystal were back next to the wall a few feet away, covertly sharing Crystal’s flak. “That’s pretty weird, huh?” Read More »

I seriously feel bad for Rumer Willis.

First, her parents go and give her a stupid name like Rumer. It’s not spelled right to be the noun (or transitive verb), so her name is basically a made-up word that sounds like the thing your worst enemy spreads about you in high school.

Second, her mom goes and marries a guy only a few years older than her. So now she’s got a perpetual kid in a trucker hat as a dad, and probably has to fight off urges to A) sleep with him herself or B) picture him naked with her mom.

Thirdly, her real dad has been known to rub up against every hot young thing in Hollywood.

Gross.

And as if all that wasn’t enough, she’s got some of the worst genes I’ve seen in a while.

It’s totally not her fault, but I mean, who knew that Bruce Willis and Demi Moore would combine to create someone…so round? I’ve truly never seen a face so oval in my life, and her newest choice of hair color isn’t helping things.

PerezHilton can’t stand her, and always calls her out on whatever she tries to do to divert attention away from her radically round head.

If I were her, I’d be crying every night from some of the things he writes.

While I consider myself to be above insulting someone’s genetic make-up, I’m not above saying that if I were Rumer Willis, I’d be pretty damn pissed at my parents. Read More »

• As if popping and squatting isn’t awkward enough, now we have — the Shenis! Impressive, no? (Jezebel)

• For 3 hours this Saturday there are going to be a lot of angry fat kids. We should probably be a little nervous. (MSNBC)

• Who needs a masculine jock-y boyfriend when you can just drink man-flavored sweat soda? Mmmm. (Business Week)

• Penn State is bullying little kids out of using their logo. Cause you know, using a dangerous looking animal as a mascot is an original PSU idea. (Fredericksburg.com)

• Going to attempt to cram 50 dressed-up classmates into your dorm this Halloween? Of course you are! Here, we did a little shopping for you! (NerdApproved.com)

Like many young stars, Emmy Rossum has dabbled in more than one of the arts. A dancer, actor, and singer, Emmy has finally released her first single “Slow Me Down”.

Check out her website here!

You remember gumballs, right?

You’d go to the grocery store or movie theater as a kid, see those giant contraptions, and just need a gumball.

You’d die without a giant multicolored ball.

But your mom would always tell you no. And you’d hate her for awhile, because like, how could she deny you that amazing jolt of sugar?!

These days, I take a look at those huge gobs of processed chemicals and thank God my mom kept them away from my teeth.

As great as they tasted, I’m sure I’d have dentures by now had I always gotten one when I begged for it. This shot is an homage to those days spent screaming and stomping for a quarter:

Gumball

1 oz Jagermeister

1 oz Blue Curacao

1 splash Red Bull

Pour equal parts Jagermeister and blue Curacao into a cocktail shaker with some ice cubes. Add a medium splash of Red Bull. Shake briefly; strain into a shot glass, and serve…no whining required. Read More »