Boozers Beware: Avoiding a DOH! Moment

September 5, 2007 Posted in Reality, Sex

vomit hung over drunk

We’ve all woken up after a night of drunken debauchery and done a little ‘I did what?’ ‘Where am I?’ ‘What’s his name?’ ‘Uhh…sh*t’-type dance.

However, in the wonderful world of college, there are a couple drunken no no’s that you will undoubtedly regret for the rest of your life. So I’ve put together for all you fabulous collegiate foxes, a list of what-not-to-do’s, even at your sloppiest. Repeat these in your sleep.

1. Hook up with your best and extremely platonic guy friend. Yiiikes. Some girls are able to bounce back, laugh it off with the guy and ma-hoooove on, but for the majority of us, you will endure an extremely awkward and confusing game of avoiding him desperately. There are some extremely rewarding friendships that need not be messed with. So. Just. Don’t.

2. Lap dances. They seem like a great idea at the time. Woo yeah, I’m the fun dancing girl! No, my lady, no. You will most likely knock something important and expensive over with your flailing “sexy” moves, and worst of all, at college parties, it is likely that at least 80% of the guests will have cameras.

Talk about a Kodak moment.

3. Making any type of alcohol-related bet…i.e. telling that guy on the football team that you’ll go shot for shot with him. Once intoxicated, many girls (including myself) tend to feel a bit invincible. All of a sudden you’re Wonder Woman and everyone should bow down, right?

Not so much.

One time, I joined a power hour but thought I’d be golden (and a complete champ, duh) to take shots of liquor instead of beer. If I had a dollar for how many times I heard ‘Oh my God, are you alright?’ the next morning.

We’ve all had our oh-my-God moments, so tell me ladies, what were yours?

50997 Comments2007-09-05+21%3A15%3A38CC+Staff on "Boozers Beware: Avoiding a DOH! Moment"

A UMass Girl says:
Wed, 5th Sep 20074:53 pm

Wow, I just had to comment as a fellow UMass girl – the articles on here by Solmaaaaz or whatever the hell her name is seriously make UMass look bad.

Newsflash: not every girl at UMass is slutty, sleazy, lazy, stupid, or an alcoholic. Oh, and we aren't sluts either.

This and the other "what-not-to-do" article are just pathetic, especially coming from a UMass student. Giving advice such as "don't buy cute back to school clothes because you'll be too drunk in the morning to bother changing out of your grungy sweatpants or notice which guy's bed you're rolling out of" isn't exactly intelligent journalism.

Some advice to Solmaaaz – quit giving UMass girls a bad name. We aren't all dirty alcoholic drunken-lapdance-givers like you.

Solmaaz - UMASS says:
Wed, 5th Sep 20075:00 pm

Newsflash, I'm not speaking for UMass girls, I'm speaking for college girls nationwide. And never did I claim to have committed all these drunken slip-ups, I actually compiled them from looking around myself at popular college culture. It happens. And it doesn't, I never claimed it to be the only way things are. My name's right up top in the byline sweetie, two A's.

dili says:
Wed, 5th Sep 20076:35 pm

I dont think anyone who reads here is here judge the schools that the writers go to. I'm not saying I'm a big drinker, but who am I to judge people who do and call them slutty, sleazy, lazy, stupid, or an alcoholic. I think you should start looking at around you abit more diffrent and stop judging. Life is too short to be living the way everyone els wants you to.

Another UMASS Girl says:
Thu, 6th Sep 200710:49 am

I think A UMASS Girl is an UMASS Ass- read the article- these are things What Not To Do ANYWHERE. Get over it and give me a lap dance.

Neena says:
Thu, 6th Dec 200710:33 am

Ohhhh girls. I agree with the article. Except.. if you don't do these "drunken slip-ups" Where is the fun at!?

Seriously, lap dances are awesome, amazing, fun times. But only if it's sexy.. Not really if you can't dance and you look like you're just trying to dry hump whomever you might be dancing on. I usually just give my girls lap-dances though. Guys just aren't cute enough, and it kindof makes them think I want them.

I agree with the hooking up with your BFF guy. I've done that before.. And we're still friends, but it got super weird after. But he's still a freakin' hottie, so i'd definately hook up again! Screw the aquardness. We already did it, so who cares!

I too beleive I'm invincable when drunk. And you better beleive I am too, kid!

gregory dykes says:
Sat, 16th Aug 20085:43 pm

i want to meet you

Alex Hamel says:
Mon, 13th Oct 20089:06 pm

"Seriously, lap dances are awesome, amazing, fun times."

damn girl whats ur number?

AUmassGirl is just offended cuz she is a slut, and is also dumb bitch.

solmaaz is hot

i like her tan skin and dark hair

Anotherumassgirl is hilarious and looks like my next girlfriend

"Get over it and give me a lap dance."

facebook me baby