Wow, Britney Isn’t a Child Abuser After All

Let’s all raise our glasses and toast to Britney Spears, for all child abuse charges against her have been dropped!

By CC Staff

What a glorious day it is!

Child abuse ain’t no laughing matter, but some anonymous person called up child services and filed a complaint, which is what prompted the whole debacle to start back in July.

Oooooh, this is so mysterious. Who was this unnamed caller? Who would ever dare to think this woman could be a dysfunctional, crazy parent?

Could it have been K-Fed? Nah, too obvious and besides, he stands to get a hefty settlement out of the girl and kinda likes to party himself…

What about her nanny, who claims Britney wanted to bleach her baby’s teeth. WTF?

How about her mom who is in the midst of a very public and very sad (they were BFF) feud with the singer? What about her former assistant Shannon Funk who, a party girl herself, would probably love a few bribery bucks courtesy of Ms. Spears?

So many players, it’s hard to decide. Whatever the case, I’m sure Britney is celebrating her victory with lots of hard liquor and crazy sex.

You deserve it, girl!