Making the LDR Work

As I write this I am sitting at my boyfriends house, hanging out with his roommates dog and watching Weeds onDemand while he is in class. I’m also wearing his sweatpants.

This wouldn’t be such an uncommon scenario if he didn’t live 1,000 miles away, if kissing him didn’t cost two hundred dollars and seeing him didn’t require vacation time.

But it does. And for that reason, the LDR (or the Long Distance Relationship) is a lot of work. And you have to work at it. While it is wonderful, the LDR sucks so you should be completely and totally sure its right for you. I don’t advocate them.

And we all know our guy blogger Andrew really doesn’t advise them.

In fact, I never imagined I would be in one. But we were right together and right for each other and I couldn’t imagine not being with him.

So, we’re together even when we aren’t together. Seeing each other every five weeks does not a relationship make, which is why even though we should be in our “honeymoon phase”, having sex and wanting to spend every moment together, we’re already having to work on the relationship.

The good folks at CNN also saw the problems that lie within the long distance relationship. In this article, they provided some good (if not a bit obvious) advice that help make the LDR work.

Communicate

Ugh, communication. Sometimes it sucks talking on the phone ALL the time. So many times I would rather just sit next to him and watch a movie rather than sitting on the phone talking to him about it. Despite the fact that I feel like we talk all the time (which I don’t really mind) it helps because I feel like I’m a part of his day-to-day life even if I’m not there every day. Just saying hi in the morning helps me make it through my day.

Tap Your Creativity

Presies only go so far. Not like my beau would send me a mix CD or flowers. But not doing it for weeks on end totally blows. And even more than that sometimes you just want to hold their hand or kiss them first thing in the morning. Apparently, phone sex and webcams are the creative method of choice. I’m still trying to convince my boyfriend of that.

But if you’re really hard up, CNN even suggests sex toys that “allow your lover to control the device from the computer.”

I think I’d rather just do it myself.

Trust Each Other

Don’t be that jealous type of girls. No one likes the jealous type. Trust your guy and he’ll trust you.

Set Goals For Reuniting

Let’s be honest. Being together is what it’s all about. There is no point in being together if you can’t see a point when you will actually be together. If there isn’t a point in the future when you see your lives coming together, it probably isn’t going to work. Long distance won’t work forever.

Keep It Real

When you’re together, don’t always let it seem like a vacation. That’s the problem I’m having right now. It’s fun when you get to go out of town for three or four days, tool around in a house of guys, drink beer and watch The Hills. (Until, of course, they turn football on.) But when you’re together, try to live life like normal people do and do normal people things, so that way when you’re eventually together there aren’t any surprises in the day-to-day.

Let’s face, the LDR is a bitch. Your first few years of college should be about experimenting and experiencing all that college has to offer, which may not include your high school boyfriend.

But when you finally know what you want, when you have dated and dated and finally found that person, sometimes it doesn’t matter how far apart you are as long as you are together. These tips, as obvious as they may be, are central parts to making it work when you are long distance. So if you dare to venture into the murky (and sometimes totally shitty) waters of the LDR, make sure it’s really what you want. And then, give it everything you’ve got.