College Candy

He’s EVERYWHERE! He’s a PHENOMENON! He’s THE NEXT BIG VIRAL VIDEO STAR!

You may not have heard the name Chris Crocker before yesterday, but thanks to Britney and her whore-endous VMA performance, his not-so-uncommon rants via YouTube are now, seriously, all over the Internet and he has the most watched Myspace pages of all.

But this southern 19-year-old, who on his Myspace page, calls himself “The New Christ” wants to meet the “man of his wet dreams” (don’t we all).

He only reveals his hometown as Real Bitch Island (I wonder if Americans can point out this gem on a map) has been viewed millions and millions of times before – he has just never had this much media attention.

The stars have finally aligned for Crocker and his…passion…for Britney and pink lipstick has catapulted his popularity overnight.

He has 66 YouTube videos, all bat sh*t crazy postings about everything from hair flipping to nose picking.

He also does characters! My fave is Earl Annie Edna, who will probably be in my nightmares tonight. But none are as in demand right now as “Leave Britney Alone,” which has gotten well over a million clicks and is simply addicting to watch.

This kid is cracked, but we love him. Everyone loves him. Man, he’s gonna get so much p*ssy.

Oh, wait.