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Reality TV Round-Up!

It was tough, but I made it through the last two days of reality television to provide you, the reader, with some of the highlights of the best television from the weekend. It was difficult, but I swear that a six pack of Corona makes it really entertaining.

Ok, I’m lying I find it completely entertaining without drinking…maybe.

The Hills

The Hills has really impressed me this season. Somehow Lauren Conrad has wormed her way into America’s hearts and suddenly I find myself just rooting for the girl. Last night, though was really spectacular and I found myself wanting to jump through the TV and punch Spencer in the face.

Jason has returned from his little stint in rehab and reconnects with Lauren. We are all a little skeptical of his return but he seems sort of genuine in that Jason way that he wants to be friends with Lauren. She is hesitant as well but is doing the good ex-girlfriend thing and being there for him. They go to dinner and who do they see at the restaurant but Heidi and Spencer.

I have no doubt that MTV whispered sweet nothings about the restaurant in both of their ears, but still it was AMAZING to watch.

Heidi’s head is stuck so far up her ass that she tells Elodie she has no idea what she could have possibly done to offend Lauren, and even goes so far as to say that she was genuine in sending over drinks to the exes the night before. To my great pleasure, Elodie shoots Heidi right down explaining to her that she really is not so innocent. Heidi looks utterly horrified.

And why does Spencer always look completely coked up? Oh yeah, because he probably is.

Rock of Love

Lacey got kicked off! Yay! Let’s dance!

The show began when Bret brought the remaining three girls parents into the house and riot ensued. Jes remained the only girl with any amount of dignity (why she is on this show is still beyond me). Her parents were very relaxed and seemed remarkably ok with the whole situation.

Heather’s parents were a little trashy, but did this surprise anyone? She rides a bull in front of her parents and Bret Micheals gets a hard on.

Lacey’s parents seemed super uptight and uncomfortable with the entire situation. Her dad kind of looks like a child molester, and I’m not gonna lie, they seemed like they had a very close father-daughter relationship. I think Dad was a little bit jealous of Bret and as such confronted him on what he had to offer his lovely Lacey.

Heather gets wicked drunk, and starts cursing Lacey out in front everyone.

Again my friends, amazing television. She starts screaming about the profane things Lacey has done and in classic Lacey style, she attempts to play it cool like Heather is the crazy one.

Finally in the end, Bret just can’t trust Lacey as hot as she might be. In her post-boot interview, she is “just in shock,” and “is unable to express any emotion.” She was able to express emotion before?

The Fashionista Diaries

I missed it last week, so I too was playing catch up. Basically after Jane magazine folded the show focused on Rachel and Andrew trying to get jobs, and they end up at CosmoGIRL! It’s pretty amusing to watch Andrew run around at a teen magazine when he is trying to be all professional and work his way into the design world. Rachel just wants clips, and I can respect that, but she gets distracted at a photo shoot full of attractive men.

Bridget was annoying. That is all.

Laurie is starting to be very likable, and apparently is dressing better or at least to Mandie Erickson’s liking because she didn’t get fired. The Seventh House partner was of course the meanest lady on fashion avenue and WENT OFF on how Laurie’s Gucci mules were so 10 years ago, and vintage may be cool sometimes, but those just needed to stay in the closet.

Yup, this woman is the devil. The thing is she doesn’t even look that put together, or well dressed. So I get very confused. Someone please explain.

Probably the most horrifying part of the entire episode was the appearance of ghost-esque editor in chief of Social Life Magazine, Devorah Rose. She quite seriously explained to Laurie that the “New York Diet” is just being anorexic and a workaholic.

Guess I’m never getting a job at Social Life. Damn.

  • Candy -- NYUCOLLEGECANDY Writer