The Big Debate: Frat or Bar?!

Frat parties: after eight months of their splendor we swear them off for eternity. As soon as freshman year ends and we move out of the dorms we promise never to return to their sweaty sleazy goodness.

Who wants to wait in those long lines freezing to death in a mini skirt and tube top in the middle of winter? Who wants to be packed into a small room with sweaty men groping your ass at every turn?

Who wants to listen to that awful rap music boasting illegitimate children and millions of dollars worth of bling blaring from oversized speakers?

Not me…or so I thought.

Look at me now: freezing to death in a pair of jeans and a button down, waiting in line to get into a crowded room where older and sleazier men are trying to pinch my butt while grinding to awful rap music blaring from oversized speakers.

What’s the difference?

I am now paying for all of these lovely amenities.

Why is it ok to take part in these activities at a bar and not at a frat party? What is the difference, really? And, think about it, which one really is better? Let the battle begin:

Frat

No Toilet Paper- some women have been forced to drip dry or–gasp!–use items such as leaves and notebook paper while taking care of business.

Bar

Usually have toilet paper, but not always a working toilet. Some squatters have even been known to brush up against pre-used TP piled high in clogged bowls.

Frat

Beds nearby. This is a lovely perk of fraternity houses, making it easy for their members (and guests) to get a lil somethin’ somethin’ and still make it back to the party for a little more beer.

Bar

Beds a few blocks away, but corners and alleys also do the trick. One perk of the necessary walk is the chance to sober up before heading to bed. There is nothing worse than having the spins while getting it on.

Frat

Shady guys looking for one night stands.

Bar

Old men looking for one night stands.

Frat

Theme parties. There is nothing better than a Tennis Pros and Golf Hos party, or any reason to dress super slutty for that matter. Frats always know how to keep things exciting.

Bar

The only things spicing up the evening at a bar is the drink special of the evening. And I have learned – the hard way – that no matter how sad, it is never acceptable to sport a toga/ naughty school girl outfit to the bar.

Frat

Free (but gross) Beer!

Bar

Not free (but semi quality) alcohol.

So those are the facts. Which is better? That is up to you to decide. As for me, I am out of college so no matter how much I enjoy some Milwaukee’s Best (and nearby beds), I think my frat partying days are over.