Jessica Simpson Gets $3 Million to Stay Pretty

Jessica Simpson is set to rake in 3 million dollars to renew her deal with the pimple poppers over at Proactiv.

Basically, this means she gets more money than she gets to star in all of her blockbuster Hollywood films…to just stay kinda pretty and smile a lot. But get this! In the past, Jessica the Genius has gone on record saying that it was the prescription Accutane that cleared up her zits.

It wasn’t until she signed a contract with Proactiv in 2005 that she had what seems like a change of heart:

“I just had so much build up and so many clogged pores that once I started using Proactiv Solution, my face was just shining. I’m passionate about Proactiv because it worked for me and it gave me so much confidence.“

Maybe her face was shining because she’d returned to being excessively oily after the effects of Accutane wore off. Or maybe she’s just, you know, lying to make a ton of cash for putting in almost no effort.

It doesn’t really matter what Jess says because I don’t know about Proactiv anyway.

It always seemed like such a scam. I’ve tried it twice and all it’s managed to do was face my face smell like a foot. Not to mention drying it out so bad that I had to stay in bed and let it heal.

I had to let me face heal. My face!

So forget Proactiv and forget Jessica Simpson…they’re lying, she’s lying…it’s all the name of the game.

Besides, I wouldn’t trust a company that uses Britney Spears as a spokesperson for beauty.