David Copperfield: Crazier and Creepier Than Ever

Does anything this guy does shock anyone anymore??

By Jess

David Copperfield, cheesy magician extraordinaire and island owner, can now add two more titles to his resume; possible rapist and certifiably crazy guy.

A Seattle woman is claiming Copperfield raped her in the Bahamas (perhaps on one of the 5 private islands he currently owns?), and last Thursday, FBI officials searched Copperfield’s Last Vegas warehouse of tricks in connection with the claim.

The magician’s attorney explained to Fox News that his client is aware of the charges, stating, “unfortunately false allegations are all too often made against famous individuals” and going on to say both he and Copperfield are “confident” everything will “conclude favorably.”

There’s something else Copperfield is confident about, however, that makes me wonder just how sane he actually is. Aside from being confident that he’s not going to jail for rape, the wacky magician is also confident that he’s found the Fountain of Youth on one of his tropical islands.

“I’ve discovered a true phenomenon,” Copperfield told Reuters last August. “You can take dead leaves, they come in contact with the water, they become full of life again. … Bugs or insects that are near death, come in contact with the water, they’ll fly away. It’s an amazing thing, very, very exciting.“

Finding the Fountain of Youth is certainly something a guy should be congratulated on—that is, if the damn thing was actually plausible.

Crazy quotes about finding made-up landmarks certainly aren’t going to help Copperfield when it comes time to defend his state of mind and propensity for rash behavior, but I mean, the guy did make the Statue of Liberty disappear. Maybe he can do the same to a judge and jury’s common sense.

All I know is, if you’ve got the FBI raiding your warehouse, you better have some tricks up your sleeve.

…And bringing dead bugs back to life isn’t gonna cut it.