• Think you’re going through a dry spell? “The average [amount of sex oppourtunities] in the engineering school is probably like once a semester.” Tragic. (Miami Herald)

• The French Prime Minister’s son likes poop. And Facebook! And embarrassing his family! (Telegraph.co.uk)

• “Having women well represented in the corporate boardroom can help improve financial performance.” Maybe with that extra money we can all get paid equally…maybe? (Yahoo!)

• Why is it that I could feasibly post a variation of this story everyday? Stop the madness! (Telegraph.co.uk)

• Some fat guy ate 21 pounds of grits and won $4,000. That works out to be about $190 a pound. It was for the glory, people! (seattlepi.com)

I remember the day Britney and K-Fed filed for divorce.

I remember it being a shocking revelation that the two trainwrecks were parting, leaving two little mistakes in their wake.

I also remember placing bets on how long it would be before Kevin wouldn’t be able to come near Brit-Brit’s babies. I was so confident that it wouldn’t take a month, that I made a bet with my roommate at the time. K-Fed was a grungy, skeezy, pot-head dancer…there’s no way he could be a decent father! Right?

Well, my roommate won that bet, my friends, and I need to officially pay up starting today.

Britney Spears has lost custody of her kids. According to TMZ, “L.A. County Superior Court Judge Scott Gordon issued an order today, stating that Kevin Federline, the boys’ father, “is to retain physical custody of the minor children on Wednesday, October 3, 2007 at 12:00 PM until further order of the court.”"

It’s about time. Britney is a drug addict. Plain and simple.

She likes the attention. She likes the pictures. She wants us to see her looking like a heap of garbage. Call her masochistic but she wants this for herself. She’s “troubled” y’all and its completely disgusting.

If this is what drugs do to you, physically and mentally, I am counting my lucky stars I never got mixed up in them.

Hats off to Kevin Federline for coming off sane and grounded. Maybe I’m wrong, but I just can’t hate a man who can…I don’t know…handle himself?

Britney, your looks are gone. Your marriage is gone. Your kids are gone.

Time to f*cking grow up. You’re pathetic.

Did the judge make the right decision?

I’m totally for love conquering all and knowing no bounds and all that fluffy good stuff, but honestly, does anyone really believe this story??

An 82-year-old Argentinean woman married a 24-year-old man last week, making those of us who aren’t naive idiots shake our heads. Apparently, the two had been “engaged for several years” and found love after the guy’s mother died and left him with his elderly caretaker/new wife at the age of 15.

When reporters asked the woman if the marriage would be more “than just spiritual” (he should have just straight up asked if they were going to bone) she replied that it would be, making most of the media laugh on the outside and most definitely retch on the inside. Read More »

I don’t know how many times I’ve griped about the girls down the hall who pump heinous music at the most inconvenient times of the day, but we’ve all had a go of annoying neighbor syndrome.

So much so in fact, that one particularly skeeved neighbor decided to start a website about it.

Rottenneighbor.com is a site that blacklists bad music-blasters, stilletto-wearing tap dancers, drunken hall-pukers, and don’t-give-a-damn landlords.

It’s actually kind of genius, if you think about it. When hunting for a new place, you get to see the bathroom, the kitchen, the bedroom, but you’ll never get see through walls.

How do you really know what you’re getting yourself into?

RottenNeighbor makes sure you won’t drop big bucks on a dream apartment that turns quickly into a nightmare via your first run-in with the crazies next door.

You can also check out the super situation, which is ideal to someone like me, who spent a summer in the city getting completely ignored about my faulty stove and the flying cockroaches. Read More »

Call me crazy, but once I caught wind that stirrup pants are back in vogue I squirmed a little in my seat.

I know what you’re thinking! You’re thinking I’m about to unload a 300 word rant on why they were left in the 80′s for a reason.

Nope! Sorry to disppoint, but I am pumped to see that seeming unflattering bottoms are back!

Most people will say if you’re going to go for the skinny look just go with skinny jeans (and if you’re seriously behind–leggings), but why can’t we have a little fun with our trends?

Nobody is saying you have to pair these with an oversized sweater and a side ponytail…just because it’s a revival trend doesn’t mean it can’t be modernized.

I say, pair the pants with simplified, streamlined, modern pieces. Some gold hoops here or some silver bangles there will pull your look together marvoulously.

Keep it monochromatic! If you’re going to rock the ankle straps, now is not the time to overload on color or pattern. Personally, I’d keep the outfit all black and pair it with a hot pair of pumps (any color or style!). Read More »

Having a hard time getting through those 50 pages of English Lit? Imagine if you had 1,000 pages to read. Every week. And it was in Latin.

Students at the tiny New Saint Andrews College in Idaho are saddled with assignments like that throughout their college career, and none of them are complaining.

Modern and ancient at the same time, Saint Andrews is relatively new, with a large percentage of enrollment from home-schoolers and a small, carefully selected student body. The actual age of the Idaho college has nothing to do with it’s classes, however, since N.S.A. aims to teach “classical Christian education”.

“Besides required coursework in Latin and Greek,” the New York Times reports, “students at N.S.A. study natural philosophy (mostly taxonomy and creationist science), the Western literary canon, Euclidean geometry and theology; they also practice public speaking at a weekly declamation.”

According to one alumnus, the students and professors at New Saint Andrews “want to be medieval Protestants.”

Uh, okay. Read More »

With SNL’s Digital Shorts the only reason people tune in these days, Andy Samberg can do no wrong when it comes to pushing our buttons and making us laugh.

That said, did you see “Iran So Far” yet?? If not, where the hell have you been? Holy crap, Fred Armisen’s dean-on impression of Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is so strangely lovable, especially in that red dress. Samberg’s goofy grin and pseudo seriousness is…refreshing to say the least (ahem, Weekend Update…).

“Iran So Far” is definitely going viral (as much as “Dick in a Box”?) in a big way, but we here at College Candy are getting the ball rolling on causing another one of Samberg’s skits from Saturday night to make a splash on You Tube. Read More »

Dear Britney,

I hope this letter finds you well. Or at least wearing a pair of underwear. I am writing to you today on behalf of all of us 20-something women who spent our high school and college years dancing/working out to your music and thinking of your ridiculous abs as we lay on the gym floor willing ourselves to do one last crunch.

We are worried about you, Britney.

It was only a few years ago that you sat atop the world in a one piece leather jumpsuit. Then along came Kevin. You fell in love, you got married and decided to bow out of the spotlight for a bit. That’s fine. I could have used a few new songs on my workout playlist, but everyone is entitled to a little “me” time. But, somehow, “Britney” time turned into “Trailer Park” time and we saw what can now be considered the furthest fall for a celeb since Michael Jackson started touching little boys.

What happened behind the closed doors at camp Spears? How did you go from the hottest thing on the planet to this?

Britney, while you totally screwed the pooch at the VMA’s (a bra and panty set? Really?!) and, while we’re at it, at raising children, it really isn’t that hard for you to make a comeback. Maybe not as a mega pop star, but at least as someone not totally crazy/white trash and who has a shred of dignity. And who can keep her eyelashes in the correct place while doing a giant interview on NBC. Read More »

What do you do on a Sunday morning when you’re seriously hungover and jonesing to dish on last night’s juicy gossip from the Kiss on the Lips party?You brunch.

And, obvs, when the elite mix brunch with alcohol with DRAMA shit goes down. And, oh did it go down.

With the Serena and Dan monumental hand holding last week, there were sure to be some significant hand moments in episode 2. And oh, did they deliver.

There was the wave that Dan gave Serena at the end of their date. I KNOW. A wave? Come on, Dan!

Serena was perplexed as well. And Dan felt he had blown all chances so he ends up at the Palace waiting for Serena to explain why he was so nervous and waved instead of totally sucking her face.

Meanwhile, Serena goes over to Blair’s for their requisite Sunday morning caps, croissants and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Blair lets Serena in on the news that she knows about Serena and Nate totally DOING IT on a bar at a wedding a year ago. (Classy, Serena!) Read More »