Ex Rating: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?

November 1, 2007 Posted in Relationships, Sex

fighting couple

Sooner or later, your boyfriend will turn into your ex.So the question becomes: Can you stay friends with the person who once held you when your goldfish died?

Although there is no one answer to a question that has plagued couples (and their new mates) for centuries, there are a few guidelines that can make a confusing time a little easier to deal with.

Most importantly, the circumstances that contributed to the break-up can offer a clue. For most couples who parted on (relatively) civil terms, maintaining a close friendship afterwards only means that one of you started playing for the other team (read: not very common).

On the other hand, staying friend-ly is only a natural progression of a once-intimate relationship.

Unless one of you is still hoping for a chance at rekindling the old flame, it only makes sense that you would have a genuine interest in your ex’s well-being. Just be careful you won’t get jealous if they move on before you do.

Unfortunately, some relationships end in an explosion. Instead of growing apart gradually, the couple finds itself hating each other and harboring hurt, resentment, anger or jealousy.

What’s worse, some relationships end because it’s become unhealthy, and these are the ones that should be left firmly in the past. There is no point in trying to salvage anything valuable from the wreckage.

Although it might feel like ripping off a band-aid, ending a bad relationship in a quick gesture is the best way to start making new friends ’ and the best part is, they haven’t seen you naked.

Yet.

937 Comments2007-11-01+15%3A55%3A01CC+Staff on "Ex Rating: Can You Stay Friends With an Ex?"

Ellie says:
Thu, 1st Nov 20077:53 am

My ex-boyfriend is now my best friend…

Of course, he also started dating my friend Steve.

Ali says:
Thu, 1st Nov 200711:38 am

uhhh…yeah, that would make being friends possible.

I think under normal circumstances, you would have to wait at least a year. Otherwise, hanging out turns to making out turns to sleep overs turns to sex – not a smart idea.

Casey says:
Fri, 2nd Nov 20075:22 pm

My ex and I had a terrible horrible no good very bad relationship! we (I) finally decided on a "break" to ease out of it. Then one day just told him it wasn't working. Everyone in highschool thought he was gay and after graduation I started to notice it a little. But I just chalked it up to the rumors getting to me. So we stayed friends right after the break up, he didn't have any others, (that shoulda been a clue to me to get out of the relationship, unfortunately it wasn't)But then one day he introduced me to his friend Ryan and asked me if I'd ever had a threesome with them (the whole gay thing still never dawned on me) well I fell for the best friend the ex didn't like it and told us we couldn't date, so naturally we dated for three months behind his back. then after we told my ex things started to get weird. I broke it off with the best friend (it was no fun anymore since we didn't have to sneak around) and we stopped talking to him. We later found out he was gay. (This is when It finally dawned on me that my ex had to be a closet homosexual) The ex and I continued to be good friends until the end of last semester and we didn't speak again for 6 months. 3 weeks ago I got a new job at a store that was opening by my house and when I got there I found out my ex had gotten the job too. It's awkward at work and I can't stand him. But the three way relationship was the biggest scandal among my friends of 2006.

Cathy says:
Wed, 7th Nov 20078:35 pm

My ex hit me. We're not friends.

Alex says:
Wed, 14th Nov 20073:59 pm

My exes are sleeping with the fishies, so it'd be kinda hard to stay friends with them. That's what they get for not having dinner ready the instant I get home from the club though.

Markus says:
Thu, 22nd Nov 200711:44 pm

My most recent X and I can’t talk any more without bringing it up… we are not friends

Whatever says:
Wed, 27th Oct 201011:03 am

I have one ex who is basically better than a GBFF. We talk really almost every day and are each others wing person almost always and he always is there to listen/analzye the crap out my subsequent relationships and it's totally non-awkward. He was always a total sweetheart as a boyfriend too though

But i have another ex who i won't even talk to and we aren't even facebook friends anymore. We started out trying to still be friends but guess what? he sucks as a friend. But, he was a douche even as a boyfriend.

I think you can totally be friends as long as neither of you still wants the other one romantically, and the relationship didn't suck. If they were a crappy boyfriend, they'll most likely be a crappy friend.

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