My Domestic Dispute

November 9, 2007     Posted in HaHa

23475341.jpgI was rudely awoken this morning at the ripe hour of 6:45 to the sounds of passionate sex being had above me. This was after falling asleep to the sounds of wild passionate sex being had above me. And right now, as I type this, they are going at it again; this time in the living room above me.


By Lauren

I think I am starting to go crazy!

Not that I haven’t experienced this phenomenon before; I did live with 8 girls in an old house during college. The walls were paper thin and I could hear everything from giggles to bed springs to even the slightest breath. But those were my friends. I had no problem marching up the stairs, gently knocking on the door and reminding said roommate that not everyone needs to know how “good that feels.”

I don’t know the dude who lives upstairs. In fact, until I heard two male voices moaning in the throes of sex last night, I had no idea that he was gay. And it is not like that makes a difference for me at all; I don’t want to hear anyone – gay or straight – screaming “F*$! ME” at 6:45 on a Sunday morning. Nor do I care how either of the parties “likes it” or where their next fornication location is going to be. (Yes, I did hear one boy throw out the idea of “taking this to the shower.”) But my point is that I barely know my upstairs neighbor, making it virtually impossible for me to broach this touchy subject with him.

But I have to do something. Laying in my bed and listening while they share such an intimate (yet vocal) moment makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. Like I am creepily joining in somewhere that I shouldn’t be. Like I am a third wheel in my very own bedroom! Not to mention the fact that I am currently not enjoying such exhilarating sexcapades and should not have to be constantly reminded of what I am missing.

So what can I do?!

Pull a Mr. Heckles and stab the ceiling with a broom? Leave an anonymous note taped to his door asking him politely to be a little quieter in the mornings? Find my own loud/dirty talkin’ bed-mate and give him a taste of his own medicine?

I need my sleep. I need my sanity. Help!

4 Comments on "My Domestic Dispute"

  1. Angelique says:
    Sat, 10th Nov 20079:07 am 

    I think that you should give him a dose of his own medicine. Wait until he's there and you don't hear sex, and booty call someone (everyone has someone) to copulate loudly and enthusiastically with. And make sure someone screams oh god, this is so good I want to wake up the neighbors at some point in the process.

  2. J.S. says:
    Sun, 11th Nov 20075:29 pm 

    Well I don’t agree with Angelique but I will be printing this article for Billy and Bobby (probably not there real names) who live next door to me. They were nice enough to wake me up at 5. On the upside, today was the first day I made it to Yoga early.

  3. Same says:
    Mon, 1st Dec 20084:33 pm 

    Ugh, I am going through the same situation with an upstairs neighbor. Sex should be private and should not be performed right as I'm trying to go to bed on a Sunday night. Good thing is the guy only lasts 5 minutes, ha!

    I can't wait until my lease is up!!

  4. Andrew says:
    Mon, 28th Dec 20098:26 am 

    You should definitely talk to these people or communicate in some way. From a different point of view though, every time I go over to a girl's house or apartment and we have sex, it usually gets fairly loud. That's the best part about sex: finding a woman who completely lets her inhibitions go while I give her pleasure and "feel her" into orgasm. Sex is a beautiful thing and I have also had experiences where I can hear people having sex and it does suck. It is distracting, rude, and makes me envy the fact that I am not having sex at that moment. Just say something to them. They need to be considerate of those around them. Personally, I now refrain from having sex in student housing and apartments for that very reason.

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