Friend or Foe?

November 26, 2007 10:34 am     Posted in Relationships, Sex  Lauren - University of Michigan g+ page

friends at a bar


By Lauren

On a particularly uneventful night my senior year, I went to the bar to grab a few drinks with some friends. We were sitting there (looking fabulous) minding our own business when a man approached. Personally, I am not a fan of thick neck hair or large ears, so I turned away and gave my cocktail some much needed attention. It seems that, in the throws of serious intoxication, one of my friends seemed to be quite taken by this man.

She chatted with him, had a few more drinks, and eventually (while running her hands through his thick, luxurious neck hair) leaned in close and whispered, “I think we are gonna go.”

After spitting Apple Martini all over the unsuspecting male perched on the bar stool beside me, I attempted to gather my thoughts. Here was one of my closest friends, someone I care deeply about, making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sure he looks good now (though I can’t fathom what she thinks she is looking at), but what is my friend going to do in the morning when she rolls over and finds Chewbacca in bed with her? I couldn’t possibly let that happen; it could scar her for life.

So, I did what any good girlfriend would do: I told her that I had to puke and made her take me home, leaving Furry McElephantEars to fend for himself.

At the time (and to this day) I thought that was the best plan. Friends help friends, and this friend clearly needed my help. After speaking with a few of my guy friends, though, I was informed that this could not be further from the truth. According to some of the men that I know – and they are a mighty fine breed of men – stopping a girl from going home with a man, no matter what the reasoning is, is in violation of Friendship Rule #109: The Cock Blocking Rule. It is not acceptable to stop anyone from getting some and doing so makes you an enemy, not a friend. According the men in my life, college is all about learning, and we all know that the best lessons come from mistakes we have made. No matter how furry.

The more I listened to what these boys had to say, the more I began to understand where they were coming from. We never see a guy stopping on of his boys from taking an ugly girl home; she may have some major junk in the trunk and a nappy braid that looks like it hasn’t seen shampoo since 1978, but all girls look the same when 1) the lights are off, and 2) you are staring at the top of her head. Yes, he may regret it in the morning, but he didn’t regret it in the cab, on the couch, or in the shower.

All this information has made me question just who is the better friend: the girls who save their friends from embarrassment in the morning, or the guys who will never let anything keep their friends from getting some? But, after contemplating it all, I think that guys actually have it right; friendship is about making sure your friends are happy, and nothing says happy like multiple orgasms.

So from now on I will let my girls leave the bar with Chewbacca look-alikes and watch them figure out how to get rid of them (and all memories of their night together) in the morning. Well, being the good friend that I am, I may even help with the evacuation.

8 Comments on "Friend or Foe?"

  1. Cathy says:
    Mon, 26th Nov 20075:57 am 

    I think you did the right thing…cock blocking or not she was intoxicated and if you could tell he was gross and she couldnt well that means she was in no way able to make any right decisions…you gotta realized that RAPE is far too common….she would have left the bar with a perfect starnger and ultimatley obviously regret any decison made that night at all…Not that i'm saying that the guy was a rapist and that all guys at bars are but in the world we live in i'm glad i have girl friend who would do exactly what you did!

  2. adam says:
    Mon, 26th Nov 20075:24 pm 

    Technically speaking if at least one person involved in a sexual activity is intoxicated it is rape. According to the law, you can not consent while intoxicated. With that said you did cock block her. It was your job to let her know he is creepy but not to stop it.

  3. Janers says:
    Fri, 30th Nov 20074:58 am 

    Adam, how could she let her know if she was that intoxicated?

    That aside. I think you did the right thing,

    BUT!…

    judging a book by it's Ape neck and Dumbo ears, isn't quite right either.

    Look at beauty and the beast for example, he had a furry neck and ended up being a HOT prince underneath.

    Of course Belle wasn't smashed and could make unintoxicated decisions.

  4. dingaling says:
    Sat, 8th Dec 20075:12 am 

    what a bitch move. let the guy have some fun beyatch.

  5. dingaling says:
    Sat, 8th Dec 20075:13 am 

    what a bitch move. i hate girls who do beayatchy stuff like that. good luck.

  6. Rachel Louise says:
    Mon, 24th Dec 20075:46 pm 

    Adam is right. Rape is wrong. If the girl wouldn't like him sober she shouldn't be put in a position to "figure out how to get rid" of a possible rapist. Janers did you ever think about how the Beast abused Belle? Locking a girl up and being violent to her teaches little girls that if you love a guy enough he will become a prince. If you don't believe me there is a documentary about it: Mickey Mouse Monopoly (i linked the clip). No one needs a beast.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeyGruRci20&fe…

  7. Don says:
    Wed, 2nd Jul 20084:50 pm 

    Why do you judge people on how they look? Why do you judge whether a man is a rapist based on how he looks? Why can't we let everyone get some? Why do you always have to make love to someone perfect? Why do some people have to be left alone? We're people, not rabbits, and I just wish I saw more humanity in people your age.

  8. Jess says:
    Tue, 3rd Feb 200911:46 am 

    1) I don't think you should prevent a friend from hooking up with a guy she *wants*. What you find unattractive may be her type and you could emberass her or make her feel bad by telling her otherwise.

    2)The fact that she was intoxicated makes it ok for your "friend judgement" to kick in though. Instead of making a lie and totally cock blocking her maybe pull her aside and just say "hey, I'm telling you this because I'm your friend. Your pretty drunk, do you really wanna do this? How will you feel tomorrow?" Then let her make that decision. It's also different with every friend. One friend may thank you and another may grudge you.

    Overall..drunk+ bar sex = not always a good idea.

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