Slimming Down Santa

By Jess

How do you know when the world has gone too PC?When someone puts Santa on a diet.

In a shopping center near Dartford, England, Mall Santas are being put through a “month long boot camp” to help them lose weight before the Holiday season bombards their laps with little kids.

“There’s nothing wrong with Santa being the size that he is,” explains property manager Tim Holland, “we just want him to have a modern day makeover to reflect the realistic demands of being the world’s most renowned delivery man.”

Throughout November, shoppers have been able to watch 12 commissioned Santas put through the wringer by a personal trainer. While this Santa slim-down screams marketing ploy! to me, a spokeswoman from the British Heart Foundation claims “Creating a 21st Century Santa is an innovative idea encouraging children and adults to get into better shape.”

Teaching kids to eat healthy and stay fit is a great idea, but changing a beloved icon to get the idea across—an idea that’s already all over children’s television and snack foods—is a little insane.

Cut the jolly old fat man some slack! What’s so bad about his stomach jiggling like a bowlful of jelly? He’s hundreds of years old; if he wants a few extra cookies at Christmas time, let the guy have his damn cookies.

In all honesty, there’s a fine line between teaching healthy values and sucking all the fun out of everything, and putting Santa on a diet is definitely walking that line.

Besides, if you’ve got a kid who decides to idolize Santa, you’ll have a lot more to worry about than him gaining a few extra pounds…like that army of flying reindeer he wants to cultivate in your garage.