The Hills: I Think You Are on Hallucinogenics

I have had enough.

By Lauren

While I don’t really love Audrina – she’s not the brightest crayon in the box and her teeth are sorta big – I can not sit back and watch a sister get trampled on by any guy, let alone a guy like Justin Bobby.

I want to jump into the TV (I have even considered joining the lame-ass Virtual Hills) and smack some sense into this girl, but my new TV is really expensive and I don’t want anything to happen to it. Sure, she ended things with the d-bag last night, but I can see it in her eyes that she still wants to go back for more.

And I seriously can’t let that happen.

So, I decided to do what I do with all my friends dealing with a difficult breakup: make the pros and cons list. You know; list the dude’s pros and cons, see him in all his crappy glory and finally feel good about kicking him to the curb.

Here goes the Justin Bobby pros and cons list. I hope this makes Audrina’s decision a little easier on her soul:

Pro:

Someone to snuggle with

Con:

Greasy

Pro:

Someone to talk to (when he picks up her calls)

Con:

Weird obsession with hobo-inspired headwear

Pro:

He buys her drinks

Con:

He burps and does other gross things in her presence

Pro:

Kisses

Con:

Kisses other girls

Pro:

Kinda looks like Jonny Depp

Con:

Wears combat boots with man capris (to the beach!)

Pro:

He’s a guy

Con:

Shows no emotion towards Audrina at all, treats her like crap, is infuriatingly indifferent about everything, and has a weird obsession with hobo inspired headwear

Audrina, darling, I understand what it is like to want to be with someone. I also understand why it is like to be with someone who gives so little that when he does anything you want to take it and run with it. But he kissed another girl in front of you. A far uglier girl, in fact. And then he wants to tell you how much he cares about you? What is wrong with this kid?

I just hope this is the end of the JB drama. I don’t know how much more of his faux intellectualism and bullsh*t I can take. Justin Bobby, just leave Audrina alone and return to that highway underpass you clearly call home.