Girls Are Annoying: Confessions of a Girly Girl

Trust me, I am a girly girl. My makeup drawer is bigger than my sock drawer, I check my reflection in every mirror (or window) I pass, and nothing makes me smile like a brand new pair of shoes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hate girls…right?

Well, not hate, necessarily. More like find things about them that just make me embarrassed to be a girl and want to be one of the guys. I have most recently realized these feelings of disdain while watching back to back episodes of My Super Sweet 16 and The Hills. And spending the past week hanging out with a big group of frat-tastic boys.

1. Girls are catty – when we are put in a room together we will find anything (and I mean anything) to argue about. Or, a few of us will find a corner and separate ourselves from the rest of the group in order to talk badly about the others. When guys are put in a room they watch tv or play video games. They fart. They laugh. They have a good time.

2. Girls won’t let anyone kiss/date/talk to anyone they have ever kissed/dated/talked to – It doesn’t matter if it was last week or in second grade; if she dated him, you can’t go near him. And if you do? Watch your back, bitch. Guys, on the other hand, really couldn’t care less. In fact, many like when they “share” a girl so they can compare stories.

3. (Some) girls wear makeup to the gym

4. (Some) girls do their hair for the gym

5. Girls are constantly comparing themselves to others – “Her LV bag is cute, but it is nothing like my MJ.” “She looks really good in that dress…besides that ass.” “Why does she get to date him? Look at her nose.” Guys, on the other hand, are too busy staring at the same girls to notice what other guys look like. (Which, perhaps, contributes to the differences in #1).

6. (Some) girls are cerfitiably crazy – I knew one girl who got mad at a guy, so she had her friends go to his house and throw pies at him. Seriously. I can’t really see any guy coming up with that idea/ever thinking that is a good idea.