How To Deal: Hating the Guy You Hooked-Up With

Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes it takes a few weeks or even months, but no matter when you first realize you despise someone you’ve hooked up with, the realization is enough to knock even the most confident girl off her feet.

Astrologically, I’m really not supposed to get along with Aquarius males in a relationship setting.

Never one to let Astrology get me down, however, a few years ago I decided to hook up with a guy who was a mystery except for his sign (Aquarius, of course) and his choice in college parties (the dirty, loud dorm suite we first met at should have been an indication of things to come).

After a few tipsy run-ins that spanned a few weeks, I decided to cut ties with the dude because A) he was kind of stupid and B) he wasn’t very good at anything that involved the female anatomy. As the months wore on, and classes changed, I ended up finding myself in not one, not two, but three classes with the guy.

Initially, I didn’t think much of it. I mean, we didn’t talk much when we were hooking up, so it wasn’t really awkward to be around him, and any emotional attachment I may have felt by accident had certainly faded away by the time I realized his ability to dress himself matched his ability to make conversation.

Unfortunately, things went from neutral to horrible as soon as classes got underway and I realized the guy I had hooked up with was a total dick. He loved hearing himself talk, asked questions he already knew the answer to (a giant pet peeve of mine), refused to do assignments like everyone else and in fact made up his own essay topics, all while maintaining one of the most elitist attitudes I’d ever come into contact with.

It was official: I had hooked up with someone I hated.

The more my distaste for this particular moron grew, the bigger my internal disgust became. I can’t believe I actually kissed him! My brain would scream every time he attempted to upstage the professor. I let him sleep in my bed! He saw me half NAKED!

Aside from boiling myself in scalding water and poking my eyes out Oedipus style, the ways in which I could free myself from my growing inner repulsion were limited. I was doomed to feel gross about my choices and myself forever.

That was until I realized this sort of thing happens all the time.

By nature, hookups are very often quick decisions. We don’t think, we just do. So many thoughtless actions must have repercussions, and a lot of those repercussions must have to do with one day realizing the someone you tangled with (literally) for two hours is someone you can handle for two hours only.

In fact, the more research I did (and by research I mean calling friends on the phone and bringing up the subject over beers), the more common my little issue became. Tons of people realize too late they’ve been intimate with jerks. Shuddering at the sight of someone who was once the object of excitement happens all the time.

Besides illuminating the prevalent habit of humanity to forego connection for sex, my intense reaction to my particular mistake taught me to be much, much more careful when it came to choosing who made it through my bedroom door.

So if you happen to be feeling ill at the prospect of seeing someone you woke up next to last week, take heart. You’re not the only one who’s ever felt this way, and after a while, it almost turns into a funny story.

Almost.