Do Older Guys Make Better Lovers?
I had a long conversation over the weekend with a recent graduate, who after a recent breakup has decided to fully immerse herself in the dating world. At the moment, she’s dating three different guys whose ages range from 22 to 28, and in her opinion, their bedroom abilities directly correlate to how old they are. This has led her to believe that generally speaking, older equals better, which is a myth that I’ve long tried to dispel.
Girls have always been fascinated by the older guy. It’s as if you feel that because you are supposed to (and generally do) mature both emotionally and physically faster than guys, it entitles you to act superior to guys your age and seek out the more mature older guys.
And this is not a movement solely reserved for college grads. Freshman girls love the juniors and seniors. And some of my older colleagues on this site have discussed being in pursuit of law students and others enrolling in graduate programs. Hell, even most of my high school friends were often obsessed with the guys a couple grades above us.
I have more than a few issues with this age thing. For one, I know plenty of seniors and recent grads who regularly act like middle-schoolers, so this assumption that girls are automatically more mature than their counterparts really just seems like an excuse girls use to empower themselves, and justify their search of the older guy.
Sure, most guys (especially those in college) act like they’re five. But we do so because we can. For one, it’s just our nature to act a little silly, especially when surrounded by other guys. But moreover, you girls already deem us immature, so why not at least enjoy it!
Mainly though, I’m irked by this assumption that age equals experience and bedroom skill. It’s simply not true. I mean, I understand the thought process behind it: an older guy would ostensibly have had more partners, and maybe even a couple of long term relationships, and so therefore he must be better in bed. But that line of thinking is entirely based on our assumptions. And much of that assumption has to do with that other number that everyone obsesses so much about. The “magic” number, if you will.
To assume that just because a guy is 28 that he’s had more experience than a 22 year old is flat out dumb. I know guys who slept with every girl they could get their hands on in college, and just as many guys who are nearing 30 that haven’t reached double digits yet.
So why are girls so quick to believe that the older guy is automatically the better guy? It’s a line of thinking that, in my opinion, causes girls to quickly throw away or ignore something that could have ended up being a great thing.
This should go without saying, but the truth is that as a girl, you’re just as liable to find a 20 year old sex god as you are a great older guy. By the same token, there are just many duds between the sheets that are pushing 30 as there are 22 year olds who aren’t discernible from jackrabbits.
The trick is not finding someone who is necessarily older and wiser, but finding someone, regardless of age, whom you truly connect with sexually. So quit limiting yourselves to guys who are older, or turning guys your age down because you think they might be too “immature.” Because once you move out into the real world, you find that age really is just a number.
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Jewel says:
Mon, 3rd Dec 20076:22 am
Nice conclusion.
westin says:
Tue, 4th Dec 200710:05 am
i totally agree with this article i couldnt have said it better myself
jessica says:
Tue, 4th Dec 20074:01 pm
i think it goes beyond the fact that older guys are possibly better in bed. i think in general girls (maybe not as much with girls these days…) become more attached to a guy after she sleeps with him. it's more likely that a girl in college, in this case, will go after an older guy because he is more likely to be looking for something more stable and not a one time thing. perhaps the older guys aren't really better in bed in your friend's case, maybe she unconsciously chooses to believe that's the case because she is in a more emotionally secure place with him than she would be with the younger guy.
Luke says:
Thu, 27th Dec 20078:41 am
Poor baby. Stop defending your conformist immaturity. The truth is the truth…older men DO make better lovers. Young guys just want to get in, get off, and get out. Even when they try to do a little more, I usually end up trying not to laugh.
Sharon says:
Thu, 27th Dec 20078:43 am
ha.
Dixie - Texas Christ says:
Mon, 28th Jan 20083:59 pm
A lot of girls do think that older men are going to be better in bed. Sometimes they are, but having had sex with a range of men who are 10 years older than me to almost 3 years younger than me, I have to disagree. I've had good sex with a 31 year old, horrible sex with a 28 year old, great sex with a 22 year old, and absolutely STELLAR sex with a 20 year old.
Lauren says:
Sat, 6th Sep 20088:40 am
Jessica, maybe you should be writing here instead of the author of this article… and Luke, thank you. Experience/skill has something to do with it, but it's true that it's more likely an older man will be ready for and open to something more serious. I've dated a wide range (from younger to WAY older) and I prefer older. Their sexual experience has little to do with it – life experience is more attractive. They know how to treat a woman. Younger men haven't learned yet (maybe because the girls allow themselves to be treated badly?) Just a thought.
Grandus11 says:
Fri, 11th Jun 201012:10 pm
[To assume that just because a guy is 28 that he’s had more experience than a 22 year old is flat out dumb. I know guys who slept with every girl they could get their hands on in college, and just as many guys who are nearing 30 that haven’t reached double digits yet.]
Yes there are those young men out there that have the looks and charm to get a gal lots of them but holding them is a different thing all together. But quantity sure does not beat quality and I am pretty sure a young lady would choose a nice orgasm over some schlep who feels she should be glad he chose her.
Lauren seems to have it pegged not only do older guys have no aversion to committment but they also have more patience. Young men will get poed if a young lady does something silly where an older man may find it endearing and just let it pass.
Older men will take their time during foreplay a young man is finding it hard to believe he is having sex.
Herc says:
Mon, 28th Nov 20115:30 pm
Older men such as myself have through life circumstance, been left with a search for a younger woman of child bearing age and capabilities.Simply put, the biological clock for reproducing has passed by the women who are my age, and, therefore to have a family with my own bloodline, finding a true younger woman interested is both a challenge and a mission.