Blind Date Decision: Not a Boyfriend but a Boy Friend?

So I went on a date. Goooo me! My grandma would be so proud. “Just get out there” she says. And get out there I did.

By Jill

Everything went well, we talked prior to meeting up and we emailed on a pretty frequent basis. And much to my surprise there was nothing awkward about it. In fact, it was all oddly comfortable.

None of that boring history of “this is every insignificant detail of my childhood that you don’t really care about, but I’m just going to tell you because we have nothing better to discuss and I hope it gets more exciting from here”. But rather, I felt as if I was schmoozing with an old friend. This could be something really good, I thought.

And suddenly, this first date with a stranger thing was looking a whole lot more promising.

Even the date itself went smoothly and based from my friend’s horror stories and some of my far from fun past experiences, I was more than thrilled not to have to execute my pre-arranged escape plan. We talked for two hours and nothing about it was awkward (thank you, lord–I owe you one)

In fact, it was the opposite. I clearly was so at ease that I proceeded to talk about my Teddy Bear, Snuggles, who I still sleep and travel with. (Normal, I am not).

So naturally, one would think “Success! When are we going out next?” (And my grandma, bless her little foreign heart, would start shopping for a dress).

But both during and post-date, I couldn’t figure out if I liked him or if what I truly liked was the potential of it all. I had such a good time chatting it up over the past couple weeks, but in person, there was no warm fuzzy feeling, no knot in my stomach, and as much as I had built it up or hoped for it- no real “connection” beyond friend.

Normally, I would just write it off. “I’m not looking for another friend, I have enough thank-you-very-much” would usually be what I would tell my gal pals during my post-date hash out. But something here just clicked.

And in the days that followed, a part of me didn’t want to just completely stop talking to this guy– a problem I’ve never really had in the past. (usually, it’s like Heidi Klum says with over announciated T’s “either you’re in, or you’re ouT). Even though I knew it didn’t work out, a part of me didn’t like the thought of not hearing from him– which weirded me out, because it wasn’t in your typical post-date “does he like me/why isn’t he calling” kind of way.

Maybe I feel this way because I really have nothing better to do at work than read entertaining emails but mostly, I think it’s not very often you meet people you are comfortable with right away (guys OR girls)- and being in a new city with a new job, I could actually use another friend. Especially one who I know will make me laugh (hey, funny people are hard to come by!)

Is it acceptable to make a boy friend instead of a boyfriend out of a blind date? I know that exes usually don’t make the best of friends- but what about when you are just getting to know the person? If you are both on the same page that it’s totally platonic, is it too late to take back the “maybe we’ll hookup” mentality and instead say “maybe we’ll grab some sushi and play some guitar hero?”

I know that usually when you tell someone post-date “we would be better off as friends” most people don’t actually mean it. But I think, I’m going to give this post-date boy friend thing a try.