Whenever I think about what I’m looking for in a dude, the question of age limit always comes up. Younger is usually a no-go (I’d like to be with someone who’s got all their keg stands out of their system, thank you), but just how old is too old?
My cut off is somewhere around 5 years. Any older than that and I think my partner and I would be in different life stages (unless of course Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt are looking. I’ll do anything for them).
Apparently, Hayden Panettiere doesn’t share my opinion of an appropriate age gap, because it’s recently been reported and she and 30-year-old Milo Ventimiglia (who?) are an official item.
These two Heroes co-stars (honestly, the only reason I even know their names is because I watched an episode of the show once) have a 12 year age difference between them, and while some people might not think that’s a big deal, I can’t help but think that just 18 and 30 is pretty much the biggest gap you can have.
18 means college, smoking legally if you feel like it, waiting three more years to drink, and finally moving out of your parents’ house. 30 means mortgages, thinking about a family, and maybe writing up the first draft of your will. Could these two people be any more at odds?
No one in Hollywood seems to care, but I’ll admit that hearing about a 30-year-old dating an 18-year-old (celebrity or not) gives me the momentary creeps. It’s easy to see what a barely legal girl sees in an older guy (or think she sees), but what makes a guy decide to forgo everyone in his age group for a chick who basically just learned to drive?
Is anyone else weirded out by this, or am I just tragically un-hip?
Christine says:
Wed, 2nd Jan 20083:54 pm
The only reason you care is simply because she’s 18. My aunt and I just had this conversation today. If she was say, 27 and he was 39, no one would say a word. It’s only because she’s 18 that anyone cares. As you get older, age doesn’t mean a damn thing. Age only means something to us now because we’re young and still need to get to certain ages to get certain things. Once you hit 30, it becomes irrelevant.
jes says:
Wed, 2nd Jan 20089:50 pm
well 5 years may seem like the limit for age difference, say if I were to date oh a 27 year old guy who’s 5 years my senior…. However, I agree with Christine, the point here is her very young age.
My boyfriend liked this girl 5 years younger than him, but ultimately wouldn’t date her because she is only 18 also. (Sadly enough this was over a year ago and would’ve been HIGHLY illegal) However, it still creeps me the hell out to even picture that… and also how she (in her highly mature state) cried and begged, even getting her parents to call HIS parents and okay the relationship… WOW.
Prom pictures anyone?
Sarah says:
Thu, 3rd Jan 20083:29 am
I totally agree. To the commentator above who said no one would care if she were 27 and he were 40.. you’re right. It still might be awkward, but a 27-yr-old is likely thinking about getting into the same stuff a 40-yr-old has or is going though– a family, mortgage, etc. Not to mention that at 18, things are still new. I get that this girl is a celeb and has more ‘life experience’ than most 18-yr-olds. But the guy also has tonnes more than she has too. I get that she’d be attracted to him, but, like the original poster said, I don’t get what he’s attracted to. In normal life, these two people would probably have met through the girl’s parents.
Lore says:
Thu, 3rd Jan 20085:59 am
You mention Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt and they have been in the same situation. Brad dated Juliet Lewis when they met filming a movie when she was 17 and he was 27. Same with Johnny Depp who dated Winona Ryder when she was 18 and he was 8 years older. I read a response to the people article on another site and a person pointed out that this line “Having previously denied a relationship, the two Heroes stars are now considered an item.” is written in passive tense to avoid the fact that there are no names, no concrete statements and that no one has confirmed anything. I hate when they say it’s official or it’s confirmed when it’s really “not confirmed at all but an anonymous person tells us it might be true”
Trajan says:
Thu, 3rd Jan 20089:21 am
Ladies…she JUST turned 18…I am 23 and I would totally feel like one of those Dateline Predator guys. If this were any other situation, I would say , “Maybe they ARE in love” or whatever they do in Hollywood. But alas, no – she is the hottest thing right now, and that dude was scoping her out since she was 16 (her age when they first met and “felt immediate chemistry” according to US Weekly).
Guy’s perspective, for the $.02 it is worth: this dude is creepy. 30 and 18 – not cool, not cool at all. ESPECIALLY when the girl in question is the whirlwind “It-girl” of ‘07.
Milo, try and score an older chick, even though you do that weird Popeye thing where you talk out of one side of your mouth….you HAFTO agree that is pretty creepy too?
Anna says:
Thu, 3rd Jan 20081:57 pm
As long as it’s legal, age ain’t nothin’ but a numba, baby. Seriously, I’m 21 and as long as a dude doesn’t qualify for AARP, I don’t care how old he is. Besides, old guys are hot.
Jes says:
Fri, 4th Jan 20089:18 am
… i think you just proved our point.
J.S says:
Fri, 4th Jan 20089:34 pm
Wow! It seems like everyone is downing the “confirmed/unconfirmed relationship” based on age and the idea that a 30 yr old must be skevy for even wanting to date an 18 yr old.
But no one has stated the obvious. Their commonality is that they work on the same show, they share the experience of working 15 hour days, not seeing their families, dealing with fans, yadda yadda yadda.
Oh and this is like the third (or fourth, I stopped counting) show where Milo has dated a co-star. If the other woman on the show were available maybe he wouldn’t be dating Hayden.
ashley says:
Sat, 5th Jan 200812:02 am
im 18, hes hot the age difference doesnt bother me at all.
L says:
Sun, 6th Jan 20087:59 am
It’s not really a huge deal. Age doesn’t mean anything as you age. Besides they haven’t offically confirmed they’re dating.
Spawn says:
Sun, 6th Jan 200810:48 am
for those saying that there’s no difference if “she was 27 and he were 40″ …the point is that she is NOT 27 and he is NOT 40.
she is 18 and the last time i checked, kids who are 18 are usually NOT as wise as when they turn 19, 20, 21 and OLDER.
PERIOD.
so the comparison with 27 & 40 or whatever the f*ck is invalid.
either way it’s her life she can screw it up if she wants to. she’s 18, she’s gonna make some mistkes. my bet is that she’ll have her heart broken a couple of times…..and she’s on track to do it.
Nanna says:
Sun, 6th Jan 200811:13 am
Hey
I´m a huge Heroes fan, and I really think Hayden and Milo are good for each other. And Hayden can take care of herself. And Milo is not some creepy guy.
And I don´t think that any of you really know how Hayden is acting towards the media. You think that she is like everyone else. Like Britney, Paris or Lindsay. That she drinks, smokes and is irresponsible. But she is not. For example she is part of a group that is trying to help whales that are being killed. So she is a sweet and kind person.
So my point is that even though there is a big age difference between them, I think that Hayden and Milo is a great couple because Hayden is much more mature than a lot of other 18-yesrs old girls.
So let Hayden and Milo be together, if that is what they want!!!
Jessamyn says:
Tue, 8th Jan 200812:18 pm
I would be willing to bet that the age difference seems less to them because there’s less of an age difference between their characters.
I think 18-30 is a bit of a stretch of ages – true, in ten years, it’ll be nothing, but in Hollywood, what are the odds of them evenknowing each other’s -names- in ten years?
Point of slight interest, I am curently twenty and have had crushes on guys (and ocasionally girls) anywhere from up to forty years older than me to five years younger (special case). Amusingly, I don’t date, as a rule – but the people I’ve been interested in give me some perspective.
Cait says:
Wed, 9th Jan 20082:29 pm
Are all of you who find their age difference a problem living in a bubble?? How many times has a younger women been the real cause of a divorce? Way more than you think.
Besides, my best friend when she was 20 started dating a man who was 40. (The relationship lasted almost three years) Now most people are going to say this is digusting, but when you hear her answer as it why, it makes perfect sense.
She was well driven, going to grad school and then on to get her phd. Do you know any 20 year old “men” who can support those feelings or even understand them? I don’t. She related more to him than men her own age because he was just as driven and proved to be successful, like she will be some day. It has nothing to do with age, its about what you have in common. She didn’t want to go through grad school while her boyfriend was too or while he was working some job. She wanted someone who already had the experience, who could really understand her.
Besides, Who are YOU to judge them? They’re living their lives the way they want to, are you not doing the same thing? Well why don’t we start judging you now?
Liv says:
Wed, 9th Jan 20085:56 pm
You’re unhip. Sorry.
Julie says:
Thu, 10th Jan 200811:06 am
If they love eachother why not ?
If Brad Pitt stands outside your door tomorrow, you would be more than glad to be with him too!
Androz says:
Fri, 11th Jan 20084:09 am
Well, usually a thirty year old men and an 18 year old girl doesn’t have so many things in common.
But here the conditions are a little different.
Both are working in the same project, are facing the same problems with stardom, paparazzi and how to remember this damn stupid lines written in the heroes script.
A relationship need to be build on a basis of similarities, not more. This Hayden girl doesn’t look to me like a weak little stupid school girl. So, where is the problem?
skydash says:
Tue, 15th Jan 200810:39 am
Why is this such a big deal??Do you think this guy is a pervert for taking an interest in someone so young?
But perhaps I should at this point remind you that most feminists are staunchly opposed to parental notification requirements for minors seeking abortions. Feminists will almost always defend a teenager’s right to make such a decision on her own. They are even reluctant to require parental notification in cases where the girl is not yet a teenager.
So why is a 12-year-old mature enough to have an abortion while an 18-year-old is too immature to date a guy who is 30??
Thomas Matarrese says:
Tue, 15th Jan 200812:48 pm
I see nothing wrong with an 18 year old girl dating a 30, or even a 50 year old man. I mean if she is the legal age of consent in her state (16 in Nevada) and wants to date a much older man he is either a financial genius, way too ethical, or a fool not to go with her.
TM says:
Tue, 15th Jan 20081:00 pm
If an older guy can bag an 18 year old more power to him. 18 is the age of majority people, when a girl turns 18 she is fair game. If I was 50 and not 22 I would still have the hots for Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Mila Kunis, and all of these hot 18-25 year old celebrities. Hey guys go to the colleges, lots of hot tight girls there. Maybe you can get to third base with one of them and touch their bodies. Try to bag a cheerleader.
T Dogg says:
Tue, 15th Jan 20081:01 pm
Last 2 guys were perverts, the human brain is not fully developed until 25 or 26. Lay off the young college girls.
Jamie says:
Sat, 19th Jan 200810:24 pm
It depends what you’re looking for.
We all know some people who just want sex or fun. In that case, the age difference doesn’t matter so much.
However, if they really want a relationship, especially a long term one, then the writer is right on the nail: They’re at different stages, and ultimately will wind up feeling estranged from each other.
It may START well, she excited by the thought of being with an older, “mature” man, he by being with this beautiful sexy 18 year old, but the long-term prognosis is dim….
carol says:
Sun, 27th Jan 200811:53 am
My darling husband is 20 years older than I am. We have lots of overlapping interests and shared idealistic life goals. Together we have built a boat, three businesses, have developed various careers, philanthropic organizations, and accomplished things neither of us could do alone. We have been together for 35 years and are still lovey-dovey and are constantly entertaining, educating and nurturing each other. We’re soulmates. Souls are ageless. Your concerns about age seem superficial to me.
Lizzie says:
Mon, 28th Jan 20082:44 pm
I disagree that concerns over the age difference are superficial. I met a 23 year old man when I was 19 and even with that small an age gap we encountered huge difficulties when dating. I couldn’t drink, I had just started college and he had just finished. We were in very different parts of our lives. Is four years a big age difference? Absolutely not. Can 20 years difference work out? Sure. But you do have to consider where people are in their lives at 18 versus 30, even if they’re celebrities. 18 year olds are simply not emotionally mature, no matter how much life experience they have.
Anna says:
Wed, 30th Jan 20089:15 pm
I dunno… I think the age difference is weird. I mean, as long as it’s under 10 years it’s not that bad once you’re older. I mean, my parents are 8 years apart but at 58 and 50 it’s not really a big deal. In context though, my mom was only 10 when my dad was 18. Ew.
Then there’s my aunt and uncle. My aunt is 52. My uncle, about 70. He’s closer to her parents’ age than he is to hers. That is just too creepy for me and no matter how old they get that is too big of an age gap. I mean, good god he has kids that are only about 10 years younger than her, they could be siblings.
I think Hayden is way too cute and too talented to date a 30 year old. She needs to go out and have fun with a guy within a few years of her age. But that’s just me. I would only go 2, maybe 3 years older than myself if it came down to it and my boyfriend is only 6 months older than me so I just like to be in my own age group.
Jessica says:
Thu, 31st Jan 20083:35 pm
Well i think its a little naive of you to say that hes too old for her. And as far as ur outline for wut u should be doing at ages 30 and 18 that is a little outdated wouldnt you say? that might be ur lifes plan but im 18 and recently bought my first house and my so called father who is way past the age of 30 spends all his time partying and has absolutly no plan of getting married anytime soon. so how would u possible know if she’s mature enough for him. I hate how society thinks that just because someone is a celebrity it makes it okay to judge their life. maybey u should spend a little less time worrying about what “starlet” is with wut “hunk” and get your own life!!
matt says:
Thu, 31st Jan 20087:39 pm
18 used to be old. People were married with kids, women got married at 16,17,18. What about hormones and mensturation(sp?) and the law. Milo has every right to take her out to dinner, maybe a movie, and than kiss and poke at every inch of her precious little body if she is down. It’s legal and I’m jealous. She’s like a shiny new Ferrari — it’s all downhill from here.
PAYTON MANNING says:
Fri, 8th Feb 20085:43 pm
BITCH LIKE YOU
Rex says:
Sun, 10th Feb 20086:33 pm
For you women that have a real problem with the age difference, is it really necessary for me to remind you just how stupid most of us men are at the age of 18-24? A guy of her same age is more likely to cause drama, either through jealousy or immature behavior or fooling around on her. At 30 a man is better prepared emotionally. I know a lot of women that prefer older men because they’re tired of dating “boys”. Let them have their relationship and I hope it works out.
Kevin says:
Fri, 7th Mar 20084:32 pm
Hello: Guy’s I’m a huge fan of Hayden Panettiere and I’m pretty excited about being a fan of Milo Ventimiglia as well. I don’t have a problem, with Hayden liking and dating Milo Ventimiglia I am 30 years old as well, and guess what Hayden and I bdays are next to each other in the same month. Now, I feel like this is destiny for us, I feel that Hayden and myself are meant to be. She is beautiful, has a cute face and a nice body she is also, healthy too. I like 18 year old’s who are mature and like older guys with the same characteristics. I’m a mature guy I feel it and sense it, I don’t smoke, drink or have illegal sex with girls I’m clean all the way. Hayden when you become single look me up in Texas I would love to meet you. Milo you are a great person man and you will meet the right girl. God has someone who is right for you.
goodwolf says:
Sat, 18th Oct 20087:55 pm
I couldn’t care less about Milo and Hayden or their age difference, but find the posts on this site fascinating. People develop attractions, chemistry, connections with all types of other people, including those of different ages. I have never seen so many people seemingly obsessed with the “acceptable” age difference between a couple. Today we seem totally preoccupied with age and age difference. One of the greatest romances in Hollywood history was Bogey and Bacall, but how many know that he was 44 and she 19 when they met and fell in love? Many of you think that “creepy” I bet! I dated a 38 year old woman when I was 22 and 24 year old woman when I was 35. Both relationships were fulfilling in different ways. Everyone has their own preferences, but why does it matter to you what others do??
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