The Truth Behind Blue Balls

blue-balls-1.jpgAfter talking to a boy for a few days – and by talking I mean winning over with my amazing sense of humor and cleavage baring shirts– I finally got invited over to his place to watch a movie. Clearly, I wanted some snuggle action on the couch so I threw on some sweats (the cute/tight ones, obvi), grabbed a bottle of wine and headed over there.

The night was great. We watched the movie, drank some wine and did some serious snuggling. Never one to make the first move, I flirted mercilessly but waited for said boy to lay one on me.

And boy did he.

By the time it happened, however, I was so ready to go (because he was looking goooood in his sweats) that things moved pretty quickly. One minute we are sitting up and watching TV; the next we are rolling around the floor. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself and got really lost in the heat. The moment.

Until we knocked a candle off the table and were forced (by fear of burning) to take a break.

The moment to breathe allowed me to think about what I was doing with my head instead of my….well, you know.

I immediately realized that things were progressing too fast and I had to leave before a walk of shame was to be had. Not that I minded the walk of shame – after all, I had done them before – but because I actually liked this kid and wanted something to come of it.

I told the boy that I had to go. He was sweet and understanding, but he also seemed a little…heated up? Ready to go? Um…aroused? I didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, I was leaving specifically to avoid having to take care of that situation (if you know what I mean). But at the same time, I didn’t want to leave this poor boy in pain.

I was really torn inside. I know it sounds lame, but the last thing you want to do to a boy you like is give him blue balls. He was sweet and never pressured me to stay, but I am Jewish and feeling guilty about things is just part of who I am.

As soon as I got home I did a little research on the validity of blue balls. Yes, I know I am crazy. Anyways, here is a little information that all girls should know (so you don’t feel/get pressured to do things you don’t want to do just because Mr. Happy Pants is asking you to):

Blue Balls are real. But, they also tend to be exaggerated. When men are aroused, a lot of blood flows to the penis. This is most often remedied by an orgasm. However, if an orgasm is not reached, there will be discomfort – usually for a very short period of time. Yes, reaching orgasm will make this situation go away faster, but is not always necessary.

So I shouldn’t feel so guilty after all.

In fact, he already called to ask me out again.

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  1. Nicole says:

    Blue balls is the oldest trick in the book. Sure, I believe it is a real condition, but moreso a LAME excuse.

  2. Luke says:

    I've had blue balls before and i had to go to work like that. when my (female) boss saw me walking with a limp she asked what was wrong. i lied. i couldn't tell her i had blue balls. it sucks

  3. JIm says:

    There's no such thing as blue balls just as there really is no such thing as a G-Spot, size DOESN'T matter and Santa Claus really left the wii under my tree a couple weeks back…

  4. Ben says:

    Blue balls are real, but they only really happen in extreme cases, i.e. 4hrs of straight making out, or seeing your girlfriend for the 1st time in a month.

  5. John says:

    Hate to break the man-code, but here's the fact. Blue balls, while real, are nothing more than an excuse a guy uses to get you to feel sorry for them and, therefore, do them. Guys are really good at playing on sympathies, especially when the reward is sex.

    Girls, don't be fooled. He will take care of those blue balls himself as soon as you leave. Also, there are two scenarios that will play out afterward. Either he will call you again, with the hopes that you fix his blueballs next time, or he will find someone else to do it for him. Stringing a guy along is a good way to get him to do what you want, but it only works for so long;

  6. Mike says:

    She pulls out her book of morals and ethics AFTER she goes to his place with a bottle of wine, intent on "cuddling". He's a "nice guy" raised by his mommy and sisters, with lifelong training to be a big sissy and she knows it. She writes her little story in hopes of a big group hug to tell her that it's OK to tease a man to the point of no return and then run away feigning guilt. Reality is she sucks as a human being for playing her little games. I would have never called her back for pulling a stunt like that.

  7. Eric says:

    Any dude that says it's fake has never experienced it. Like Ben said, in extreme situations it can be seriously painful. First time it happened to me was after groping a hot girl at a party for a few hours… Hurt so bad I had to stop at a McDonalds rest room to relieve it cause I thought I might die. Know however that relief comes immediately after release, so don't feel bad cause he WILL take care of it immediately after you leave!

  8. robert says:

    for god's sake, you could give the poor boy a hand job at least! have some mercy with us! :-) But keep us posted on what happens next…

  9. tyler says:

    dude screw that, i have blue balls right now and ti fucking hurts man, this chick brittany came over and long story short she doesnt like to "do the dee" unless going out , so she left .. left me in this pain that is so terrible id ont even want to walk…

  10. tyler says:

    but good news, she wants to chill tomorrow.. oh and btw the cure to this is… Bust one!! lol

  11. joe says:

    blue balls is definitely a real condition, and you dont understand it till youve had it. In the past I had lighter cases but today i got an extremely bad case after making out with a girl for 5 hours and she wouldn't go any farther, i didnt try to pressure her or anything but i had to realease the pressuer. so i popped one while i was driving on the way home, and it is not an excuse to have sex. i didnt even tell her about it, it also does not go away immediatly about an hour after ejaculation is when its finally gone. i dont even know how long it would be if i didnt tho, but it would be unbearable, since they are constantly hurting and if the are bumped it feels the same as getting punched when they are normal.

  12. Star says:

    Well, girls go through a lot of pain that guys don't understand (9 months of pregnancy, periods, sex in general sometimes) so I can't say I feel particularly bad. As long as you weren't promising this guy sex and then changing your mind you have every right to stop. And heck, even if you did, it's still up to you if you don't want to continue. A guy can choose to say no as well.

  13. Andrew says:

    Just had been cuddling/making out with a girl for about 6hrs, long story short we didnt go any further and i can barely move,
    anyone that says that it doesnt hurt is either a female or hasnt experienced it.

  14. Matt says:

    Oh it's definitely real. I used to get it pretty bad from just cuddling and making out with my girlfriend. I never used it as an excuse to get anything else out of her. It comes in different degrees of pain but at its worst it can hurt quite bad for quite sometime.

  15. Jason says:

    It is definitely real. I've had it two nights in a row now. The first night I didn't relieve it and it was hell. The second night was worse and, to my surprise, blowing a load doesn't help RIGHT AWAY. It takes a bit after wards to be completely gone. Keep that in mind guys.

    I'm not saying to use this as an excuse to go all the way, you should only do this if the girl is READY and WILLING. Don't ever force. Afterall, they deal with more pain then we will ever know.

    Anyways, don't fret guys. The pain is only temporary and you'll be ready to go the very next morning. And, it's totally worth blue balls to have an intense makeout session with a girl. Stop complaining. :)

  16. landon says:

    I agree blu balls totally worth it, dam this girl elli so fine she gave me blu balls last night but so worth it cos we made out agressively for hours I got to fill her up everywhere I like her lots I kno she really likes me, I'm thinking of asking her to be my official Gf, not just to fuck but cos she's beautiful,smart,agressive,diffrent,wild,strong,she smells amazing she's a full C cup and has a big firm round ass,I like her a lot man I have no idea why she's single I mean when I first met elli their where tons of guys flirting with her, but I guess their a bunch of pussys,her friend tori told me that a lot of guys are intimated by her, one of her other guy friends kev told me she has a reputation for bein popular but not giving a shit about it that she just does what she feels, dam idk I'm so sprung I admit it I'm dam wipped and not ashammed what so ever, I can't stop thinking about her huge green eyes and her full lips with her brown wayvy hair,she amazing and ee have lots to talk about I swear and shes old money I mean she works and all and is educated she been places but dam I can't stop thinking about Elli. Dam well bye ima go call her ah and about blu balls its worth it if sex is not all your looking for and you want a relashionship out of it

  17. scott says:

    The worst is what has been happening to me lately. I get aroused and my girl and i have some hot steamy sex. But once she gets hers she decides its time to stop and leave me with out me finishing. Im sorry but when you get me hard, make me have sex with you and please you, and then get up and leave with out finishing me it is VERY painful and masturbating doesnt always fix it, neither does having sex later to get rid of it. Its nto that hard to just finish us off, its not like we dont do a TON of things to make the woman happy, things we dont always want to do. Just finish the guy off seriously, its a natural thing for males to be highly sexual and want to finish. Women are more selfish than they want to believe, quit blaming the guy and just take care of him jeez

    1. Joe says:

      hahaha you are so whipped

  18. lindsey says:

    I personally find it funny. Guys can treat girls like objects, like we are nothing more than a warm hole for them to stick their dicks in, just pure lack of respect all the way around. and now you guys wanna cry cause your balls hurt when we do the same back to you after we had all we want and tell you to F**off. Aww poor things…Try not sleeping around so much and just get a steady girlfriend that you treat well enough that she wants to stick around and sleep with you!

  19. saul says:

    Blue balls are great, especially when given from a pretty Jewish girl in a tight black mini skirt, thong. and heels. I love it!

  20. Jose says:

    it doesn't last a short time. Usually its about 2-3 hours.

  21. Johnny Wish says:

    I love a good tease. Last nite my girlfriend kept me up for 2 hrs without release FOR ME. Maybe tonite.

  22. Sorry this comment is so late, but I simply have to say it:

    All you men complaining about blue balls- I hope you realise women also get a severe case of blue bean too, right? Or at least I have, whenever my partner has to leave to go to work, or any other situation.

    You don't see us trying to force ourselves on men though, do you? We just fap it out in the same way that guys do :)

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