College Candy

When we last left The Hills – far too long ago than I’d like to think about – Heidi was heading back to Montag Ranch in the rugged hills of Colorado for a much needed break from Spencer. From his lack of a job to his oversized beard to the fact that he packed her bags to elope in Vegas, Heidi had enough. She may also have realized that the ring (weighing in at about 50% of her pre-implants body weight) was f-a-k-e.

And since the infamous season finale, people have been wondering what is going on with the Dumb-As-Rocks Duo. Rumors have been flying: Heidi and Spencer broke up, they are still together but the wedding is off, that (GASP) the show is completely scripted.

Now, I am a girl who has standards when it comes to the news. I am not just going to believe whatever some weird looking dude with a propensity for scribbling on pictures has to say. I want some evidence. Like these photos I found while perusing my favorite blog sites yesterday. (Note: high standards is a relative statement.)

At first glance I thought to myself, “See, world, Heidi and Spencer are together. The show is real!” And then I started flipping through a few more. Like this one. And this one. Oh, and this doozy. All of which, supposedly, show Heidi and Spencer lounging on the beach and enjoying one another’s company. But, what the pictures are really showing is Heidi doing some sort of erotic photo shoot on the beach. There can’t be real. Not a chance. I mean, does anyone really sit like this?

As much as I hate to admit it, Heidi and Spencer are not in love and are no more than fame-seeking D-list celebs. That, paired with the fact that LC is rumored to have just purchased a $2 million dollar house, can only mean one thing: The Hills is as fake as Heidi’s chest. I can tell you from experience that magazine internships barely pay enough to cover dinner, let alone a Hollywood home. The money was coming from somewhere else and it was most definitely MTV.

If you can prove me wrong, please do. I can’t handle the thought of this show being scripted. Not because I am angry over being duped by MTV, but because I can’t handle the thought of another one of my favorite shows being delayed by the writer’s strike.