My Exercise Pet Peeves

By Lauren

Despite the fact that I have been experiencing severe tail-bone pain for the past two weeks (due to a semi-drunken tumble down a flight of stairs), I have been attempting to keep up with my five-days-a-week gym schedule. Any other time of year and I probably would just take advantage of the fact that my ass is a lovely shade of eggplant and sleep in instead. But, being that everyone else in the world is using this month to get in shape, I felt motivated to do the same.

Being that I can’t partake in my usual morning classes (spinning with this bruise? Not a chance), I have been forced to return to the cardio floor. And my return has reminded me why I have been avoiding it for so long. Maybe it is because it is so early in the morning, or maybe it is because I really hate being at the gym until my workout is actually over and I’m sipping on my coffee, but there are some gym people that are just starting to piss me off.

There may not be a list posted anywhere, but there are some unspoken rules regarding gym etiquette that everyone is supposed to abide by. Like warning someone before they set up all their stuff and begin working out that the treadmill is broken. Not after when they nearly fall off and break their necks because the belt was sticking. (Welcome to my morning).

Sorry. I’m getting angry all over again, but I am sure I am not alone in my frustration. So here is a list of my biggest Gym Pet Peeves. Let us all commiserate together.

1. Machine Savers: I understand that you got here really early in the morning and you want that machine, but if you are going to put a towel on it and then leave for 20 minutes it is no longer yours. The elliptical is an exercise machine, not a towel rack.

2. Socializers: I am not sure why these people pay for a gym membership other than to make people believe they are really getting into shape, but there are some people that literally come to the gym and never get near a machine or weight. I imagine them telling people they are going to work out, go to the gym, talk, dump a little water on their head to make it look sweaty and then go home and whine about their haaaaard workout.

3. Grunters: Your weight is heavy. I get it. Must you announce it to the entire room?

4. Cell Phoners: Do you really think you are getting a quality workout if you are able to hold a full conversation while doing it, Ms. Thang? There are other people at the gym (i.e. ME) who would like to actually break a sweat, so do you mind taking that conversation next door to Starbucks?

5. Short Short Wearers: Men wearing short shorts is incredibly risky. Not to mention totally unfair to innocent bystanders who just so happen to look over at the wrong time during a butterfly stretch/ab series and encounter old man junk. It is absolutely horrifying.

I cannot wait for my butt to heal so I can get back to Boot Camp. Although, now that I think about it, number 5 is a problem there as well. I guess it is just something I am going to have to learn to live with. After I have had my morning coffee.