Britney Spears is Fertile

britney-pregnant.jpgWhile most of America sat home Monday night watching American Idol (and the remaining few caught a glimpse of the Democratic debate) there was one person who did neither. Britney Spears was back out on the town last night. She wasn’t doing what everyone would expect, though. Ms. Spears was not club-hopping or loading up on her Starbucks.

No. Britney Spears made her way to Wal-Greens to purchase a pregnancy test.

And why wouldn’t she?

The woman just had her two sons taken away; what better way to cope with that than to make some new ones? Britney is finally in a stable and committed relationship (with the paparazzi who is shopping her photos around to various publications), so it is only natural that they take the next step and begin settling down.

Lord help us all. The last thing this world needs is another Spawn of Spears. Someone really needs to take away this woman’s ability to procreate. There is no way a former pop superstar who now wears her wedding dress out to the mall is in the right state of mind to have more children. Just think of that unborn child; it will need years of therapy just from having this as it’s mother.

Let us all join hands and pray that these photographs are a hoax. That Britney was indeed downing the Venti Fraps last night and was nowhere near a birth control test. That the world can sleep soundly tonight knowing that there is no bun in Britney’s oven.

And let us say: Amen.

One Comment on "Britney Spears is Fertile"

  1. tarik says:
    Tue, 22nd Jan 20087:50 am 

    vere hot emails

Tell us what you're thinking...




COVER STORY

It’s a Twihard-Knock Life It’s a Twihard-Knock Life

WTF? So you can sleep with Edward?? When I was waiting outside of the Scholastic... 

Bar Fails: These Offenses Deserve a Penalty Fee Bar Fails: These Offenses Deserve a Penalty Fee

Easy on the soda water, homegirl. A couple of days ago three bars at Penn State were... 

It’s All Fun and Games Until You Live Together It’s All Fun and Games Until You Live Together

"I'm smiling but if she doesn't take out the garbage soon I'm going... 

Read More Posts From This Category

HAHA

I Kissed A Girl…And I Wanna Do More I Kissed A Girl…And I Wanna Do More

Like Katy Perry, and probably many of you, I kissed a girl. And I liked it. More... 

Coupled. It’s the Little Things That Count Coupled. It’s the Little Things That Count

I remember watching Say Anything with my sister when I was a kid and wondering if... 

Ask A Dude: I Refuse To Be A Friend With Benefits Ask A Dude: I Refuse To Be A Friend With Benefits

Hey Dude, I’ve done the Friends With Benefits thing, and, to say the least,... 

Read More Posts From This Category
Taylor Swift Is Overrated

Taylor Swift Is Overrated

I like Taylor Swift. I like that she’s sweet and wholesome, I like that she writes her own music, I like that they play her music all the time on the radio so I can turn it up loud when I’m driving and sing at the top of my lungs. I think she’s got awesome hair and love that she doesn’t let her 5′11 frame bother her. I really do like her. But all that being said, I also think the Taylor-mania is getting a little out of control.