International Relationships, AKA Devil up Mint

My boyfriend is from India.

I say this not to brag about my exotic foreign catch, but rather to expound upon the humor that can come out of dating a non-native English speaker.

For instance, he doesn’t say “development,” he says “devil up mint.” Why this is so funny to me remains elusive to him, yet he insists he’s pronouncing the word correctly.

“One billion Indians can’t be wrong,” he says.

Well, OK, he may have a point. For me, at least, my international relationship is so much more engaging than dating, say, another American.

American guys? BO-RING! First of all, they pronounce every word the same way I do (unless they’re from the South, I guess, but that’s another story entirely). Secondly, they think drinking and video games are the be-all and end-all of existence. And finally, their cooking repertoire consists almost completely of Easy Mac and Hot Pockets. Yeah, that’s appealing.

Again, not to brag (well…maybe just a little), but my guy’s idea of a great time is actually spending time with me. That may be partly because we have a long-distance relationship and seeing each other in the flesh happens so rarely that it’s a huge privilege when it does, but he realizes that and acts like he’s won the lottery whenever I show up.

PLUS, he cooks. I’d probably be hungry enough to even enjoy a bowl of Easy Mac after a two-state drive, but he always has a chicken curry or exotic pasta with coconut sauce hot off the stove and ready just for me when I get there.

And finally, he makes it impossible for me to get bored. Everything that I take for granted every day as a fact of life from growing up in America is a new and tantalizing mystery for him. I Love Lucy? He’s never heard of it. Deer? Nope. To him, they’re not backyard menaces, they’re beautiful and rare mammals. Thunderstorm warnings on TV? The first time he saw one, he called me up panicking because he thought the whole state was going to be electrified to a crisp.

And all that, to me, is sexy.

So thanks, but no thanks. I’ll take my Indian over an American any day.