My Diet Diary: The Detox Diet, Day 1

Beyonce must never get PMS.

By CC Staff

That or her 20 days on the Master Cleanse must have been done strategically between visits from the red eyed monster, because how she could have fasted on water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper during the days of bloat and cravings makes – well, it just seems impossible.

Welcome to my Diet Diary. Or ‘Dietribes’, if you will. Each month, I will test out a diet and you can read all about the self-torture in inflict upon my body with all of the deprivation.

In truth, I generally try to be a very healthy eater and I’m concerned about the foods that go into my body, so the diets I will outline won’t be one of those slim fast or cookie diet jobs.

I am not doing the aforementioned crazy fast, but I bring it up because detoxing seems to be on everyone’s mind and various levels of detoxing are outlined in The New Detox Diet, by Elson M. Haas M.D (on the cover of the book, he’s also called The Detox Doc).

I will not be fasting at all and I suggest that you not fast either, because not only is it dangerous (I don’t care what the Detox Doc says about it – I like not passing out and such), any weight that you lose on it will come back on the instant you start eating solid foods again. What I have chosen to follow is the actual Detox Diet outlined in Haas’s book.

For the next two weeks, upon rising, I will drink two large glasses of water with the juice from half of a lemon squeezed in. Breakfast will consist of slow cooked oats and will be followed 15 – 20 minutes later with a piece of fruit.

Lunch and dinner will be soporifically similar: one or two medium bowls of steamed vegetables (I’m certain that it will be two) with a little bit (and then a little bit more) of olive oil. If I’m feeling weak, which I’m sure that I will, I can add four ounces of ‘good’ protein, like legumes, organic chicken, turkey or fish.

No eating after six p.m.; only water and herbal teas are allowed and I’m crying inside because I love coffee and diet Pepsi more than I like food.

Though the meals sound like my goal is to lose weight, this is not the reason why I’ve chosen to detox. While it is one of the benefits/side effects of it, I’m doing it because I feel awful. I eat a lot of sugar. I subsist on caffeine. I don’t even want to get out of bed in the morning, even if I sleep for nine hours.

Dr. Haas says that “we detoxify/cleanse for health, vitality and rejuvenation – to clear symptoms, treat disease and prevent future problems.” Enter the main reason why I’m doing this: in the last couple of years, I’ve developed allergies to many foods. The Doc treats this like a spiritual journey; I’m not riding the spiritual cleansing train, but I am certain that my allergy tests didn’t fully uncover all of the foods that my body is rejecting, thus contributing to my daily lethargy and stomach issues.

The Detox Diet, much like all of the plans outlined in the book, is not one that you can jump into straight from your regular diet of whatever you eat. Because it eliminates the seven most common allergens, it takes time and would be too shocking to your system to suddenly go without wheat, dairy, sugar, corn, soy, eggs and peanuts. I’ve been eliminating and I’m ready to start.

So, want to know what happens?

Come back and I’ll reveal to you how crazy I do or don’t get without my coffee and diet Pepsi and further outline the diet and the steps that should be taken post-detox to ensure a smooth transition.