Colds Are SO Last Season: Get Rid Of ‘Em Fast

By Olua

First day of class. I’m sitting in the front row, binder open and pen at the ready. The teacher is going over the syllabus. “This is the attendance policy in the class. You are allowed…”

“*sniff.*”

“…absences.”

I wrinkled my nose in distaste and glared at the various people in my Criminology class, coughing and sniffling and sneezing for a while, leaning forward and straining to hear my professor. “As for the papers, the due dates have been posted on…”

“*cough*”

Gritting my teeth, I glanced over my shoulder at the girl to the left, covering her mouth and looking miserable. I turn my head back to my teacher and listen to her explain to me why I’m taking a course on crime when a horrendous gurgling grunt comes from the back of my throat, and I am horrified at the way I just cleared my throat and made the same sound my mother’s Camry makes when it starts up. No way in hell on the first day in class was I already sick.

I was determined to not be taking off days to roll around miserably in my dorm so early in the semester, and sure enough, a few days and a few tissues later, I’m back to my normal and almost entirely healthy self – without the help of anything from the “Cold/Flu” aisle in Rite Aid. How?

Sit back and learn, ladies.

The first key to getting better is to not get sick at all: Everyone knows that Vitamin C is vital to keeping your immune system ready incase it needs to punch some cold’s lights out, and you should have some every day, either via your daily glass of orange juice or through products like Emergen-C. There are also things that include Vitamin-C but also keep your immune system ready for a fight, one of my favorites being Airborne.

Then there are things that don’t have any Vitamin C at all, but are still well-known to help your immune system, like Echinacea/Goldenseal. You can get this stuff as a vitamin pill or as a tasty tea, but keep in mind that Echinacea is a mild bloodthinner and you should really only use it when you’re in a place that surrounds you with sick people – like school.

Once you reach the point of no return, it’s a matter of getting better as quickly as you can: Colds and especially flus are things you have to nip in the bud, like your beau’s bad habit of chewing his fingernails. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids and yes, chicken soup can help you feel better. I swear by Progresso.

SLEEP. It keeps you well rested enough so that your body can fight the good fight, and it’s a good excuse to lay around, watch TV, and get your guy or girl to bring you food.

Stay hydrated, especially if you have a slight fever (if it’s over 100 degrees, get your rear end to the hospital right now!). Soup, water, orange juice, and tea can help. Chamomile helps you rest. Lemon and ginger will ease your sore throat, especially if you add a touch of honey. Horehound, as disgusting as it is, works like magic to clear out all the phlegm and gross crap in your lungs. Hold your breath while you drink this stuff.

Try your best not to run to CVS: I know you’re miserable and the last thing you want is to be snorting like an angry warthog all night long, but most over-the-counter medicine only make your symptoms a little more bearable and don’t help you get better, even if you’d like to think they do. If you’re feeling stuffed up, take a nice hot shower or invest in a humidifier. It’ll help clear up your nasal passages without drying them out and thusly making you sicker.

Err on the side of caution: If your cold lasts for more than about a week and a half, if you get a high fever, if your ears start to ache or if you start coughing up weird-colored mucus, go to a doctor or the hospital RIGHT AWAY. These could be flu symptoms, and trust me on this one when I say you don’t want to screw around with that virus.

Fool me twice, shame on me: Once you feel better, take better care of yourself! Take things that will keep your immune system ready to win a KO match and eat a healthy, varied diet. During cold and flu season, it’s important that you stay clean too: wash your hands as often as you can. After that, there isn’t much you can do but stick it out and pray for the best.

Being sick isn’t fun. For a person like me who has allergies to just about everything, I know this. But there’s stuff that you can do to stay at least relatively healthy and, hey, they’re pretty damn cheap. And what’s to lose aside from that irritating sniffle?