Breaking News: Paris Hilton is NOT An Actress.

I try very hard to be a good person. I try not to judge people, and if I do judge them, I try to keep it to myself. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and think the best of a person and the situation they’re in. I really, truly try. Therefore, you must understand that someone would have to go to new and unchartered lengths to really make me dislike them.

Nice job, Paris Hilton.

I don’t envy her, I don’t love her, and I don’t like her. Most of the time, I ignore her. But when I found out that she was in a movie, I was fairly grateful my roommate had gone home for the night so that she couldn’t hear my gag of disgust. Even though she’s been in minor roles before, she is now in her first leading actress role (in a movie with a producer and editor, not just her and Ricky) in “The Hottie and The Nottie”, coming to theaters across the USA on February 8th.

Oh, but it gets better.

The premise of the movie is as follows:

Nate Cooper (played by Joel David Moore) has just been dumped. In his girl-less melancholy, he thinks about his first crush: Cristal Abbot (our lovely Paris). Coming to the conclusion that she’s the only girl for him, he goes on a noble quest to L.A. to find the girl of his dreams. He finds her, alright, but there’s an issue; Cristal won’t go out with anyone until her best friend, June Phigg (Step by Step’s own Christine Helen Lakin) finds her soulmate. The problem is that June is quite hideous.

Nate tries his best to hook June up, but most men run away in utter and complete horror. It isn’t until Nate decides that June’s only saving grace will be to get a makeover that he realizes that maybe June is the hottie and Cristal, not so much.

The premise has been done before – and I’m not referring to 10 Things I Hate About You, I’m referring to the play said movie is based on, written by one William Shakespeare. The Taming of the Shrew already taught us that appearances can be deceiving, and the desirable girl can usually end up being not so desirable, while that chick no one really wants ends up eventually being the chick everyone wants.

Therefore, Hilton’s new movie = been there, seen that.

Furthermore, Paris is not an actress. PLUS, Paris Hilton or anyone who looks like her would probably never have a friend like June Phigg, as nice as the concept seems. And Christine Lakin, in my opinion, is infinitely hottie-r than Paris Hilton.

Now, mind you, I personally don’t have anything against anyone who is going to go see the movie regardless of how horrendous it looks. I know that not everyone has the same opinion regarding Ms. Hilton.

I, however, will have more entertaining things to watch come February 8th; I happen to know for a fact that they will be painting a wall in of the academic buildings on my campus, and I just can’t wait to watch it dry.