Brown + White = Reason to Stare?

Nina says:
Mon, 11th Feb 20089:32 am 

I'm Asian and all the guys that I've dated are white. I got a lot of stare too. A lot of people just assume that if an Asian girl and white guy walk together,SOMETHING is going on.

Rose says:
Mon, 11th Feb 200811:05 am 

I think that people still have too much prejudice, whether they want to acknowledge it or not, and that is why interracial dating is still rare. I personally am all for it, love is love! My best friend is white, and her boyfriend is black,a nd they are so happy together, and it's great. So kudos to you for breaking out of the norm!

dili says:
Mon, 11th Feb 200811:26 am 

I’m persian and I dated a chinese guy. I’m 6 ft tall and his 5.3. So when we walked down the street, nobody would even think we are a couple because of all the diffrenc.

Missy says:
Mon, 11th Feb 200812:13 pm 

I am of Polish background but I grew up in an area that was very diverse with at least 50% of the population having an Asian background (Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, you name it) So it was not uncommon to see interracial couples in high school. Starting college was a culture shock to not see the diversity I did in high school. Even just saying hi to my friends of different races I get weird looks from people. I feel this world is still very prejudice and I am just lucky I grew up in area where we didn't see a lot of it.

Carly says:
Mon, 11th Feb 200812:35 pm 

Thanks, guys. You all are making me feel a little better and making me realize that other interracial couples actually exist. I think part of the problem is that now I live in such a tiny little town that I hardly ever even SEE people that aren't white. It can really drive you crazy after a while.

Jean says:
Tue, 12th Feb 200812:52 pm 

My mom is french, my da is african (ivory coast), we also have algerian genes from my grandma..so i'm kinda very mixed…I'm dating a white girl, and sometimes We get stares too but not that much. That'S one reason i love college, people come from so different places and there im not so different.

but i also understand that people in countrysides and little town are not often used to such cultural differences within them so it's natural to get stared at…

anyway, wherever I go, i'll always be seen as a stranger as I don't have only one home, but difference is what makes the world beautiful… I only wish we could have one additional passeport that said citizen of the world but it's so utopic right now…

Ellie says:
Thu, 21st Feb 200812:59 pm 

I'm French, Native, Indian, and African (ghana). I dated a chinese guy and a filipino guy. Interracial couples are rare but are not fictional. i used to get a lot of stares too, but i think it was because people are just surprised to see and interracial couple. I know how you feel that the stares are uncomfortable.. but it's all good. let em stare so they can see what they are missing out on! xp

love is color blind

Leila says:
Sat, 1st Mar 20085:22 pm 

I know how you feel! I am a part of biracial couple too – I am European and my husband is Indian.

We've been married for 3 years and we get lots of stares. It made me uncomfortable at first, but then I stopped noticing that at all. Well, now we have a baby and people look at us even more. I have to say though that many people smile and congratulate us on the baby.

I think people show interest in biracial couples because it is rare, not because they are against it. I too stare – because I love seeing couples like us. Good luck to both of you!

Rachel says:
Mon, 7th Apr 20086:05 pm 

I know this is going to sound foolish, but aside from the obvious (never asked one/ had one ask me out) reason that I have never dated someone of a different race (I'm a mixed bag of European white girl), part of it might be that I don't want to be the girl who dates a (black/asian/Indian/Canadian/etc) just because he is (fill in the blank). I wouldn't want to come on to a guy and have them wonder if I was really into THEM or just their skin color/ ethnic heritage.

Angelique Nolan says:
Sat, 19th Apr 20088:57 pm 

My best friend is white, and I am black. He's also bi, but most people just make an assumption about whether they think he is or isn't gay, and then decide that either I'm his hag or his girlfriend. There have been several incidents in which guys think I am dating a white boy, and feel compelled to say something about it. One guy even sat down next to him in our booth at TGI Friday's to tell us the story about "that time he dated a black woman." Another guy, who was black, thrust his pelvis in my general direction and informed me that "black guys do it better." Not only do people assume we "do it", but some even have the nerve to comment on our assumed doing it, as if it is automatically their business because they have an ethnic background or something. Everyone has an ethnic background, so that hardly gives someone a right to stick their bitchy faces in other peoples' (supposed) sex lives.

Bless says:
Tue, 29th Apr 20085:10 pm 

I did an interesting experiment. I opened two identical profiles in two popular online dating sites. Everything was the same, the only difference s were my pictures, one being photoshoped to a white person, the other my original brown face. The latter profile received almost ZERO response no matter how many emails I sent out, only a couple of intimate oriented messages from some really obese people (nothing against them, my point is it was out of desperation though). The former whitewashed photo, on the other hand, the mass of emails I got was pretty decent, almost 2-3 messages everyday and I didn't even initiated too many contacts.

Judge for yourself.

val says:
Sun, 1st Jun 200812:38 am 

I'm dating an Indian guy, and I've never really noticed any stares from strangers (this may have something to do with the fact that the only people we're ever around for the most part are old friends). Of course, his extended family isn't all that happy with the relationship. I'd always assumed it was the tradition thing, but now that I've read this article, I'm worried they may be thinking I'm only in it for the money.

Ah well. I love my Desi boy.

kay says:
Tue, 1st Jul 200811:01 am 

I am white and I have been dating a black guy for 2 years, and people absolutely stare. I am lucky enough to live in a big city (NYC) where there are ppl of every possible color and nationality, and there seem to be many interracial relationships, but this doesn't stop people from staring! Also, a strange thing I have noticed is that many people seem to go out of their way to let us know that it is 'ok' for us to be a couple, like commenting on how good we look together, etc. Or maybe we are just that hot? haha but seriously, I never notice our differences until people stare or say something, which makes me self-conscious of it. I think this is due to my growing up all over the world and being part of the military, an organization where (for whatever reasons) interracial marriage and biracial children are very, very common. One thing I hate, though, is when white or black people will see me with him or hear about him and just give me the LOOK- the "OHHHH, you're a white girl who likes black guys" like this is a defining trait or something. Uh, no, I've dated almost every race, and I just happened to stick with him! Its very insulting to have people imply that this is the only reason we're together. OK I rambled but good article!

indianboy says:
Sun, 13th Jul 200812:34 am 

the more interracial couples we have…. the better it is for everyone to accept and normalize into society. i am indian but like only asian (us born) and white girls… but everytime i see interracial couple.. i stare too … reason being 1) happy that someone else thinks same as myself 2) how will your kids look like.

i am not currently with a girl right now, but eventually want to marry someone outside my race, and yes our parents are strict and would prefer we marry into same race just so they we can be happy and they get to play with our full brown kids. BULLSHIT.

hopefully my kids get my brain, with looks of my future wife and imma train them to be all superior of a kind, in terms of being good at everything.

and btw, i have seen indian guy/white girl couples before and they all are happily married. im still wondering how their kids will look like.

one more thing, our schlong units are well equipped, atleast mine is.

Tom says:
Sat, 16th Aug 20086:22 am 

I think inter-racial dating is a bad idea. It's shows a lack of respect for your genetic history and ancestors and the your partner's. Stop trying to let the ideal MTV couples be your goal. I also consider it a form of self-hate that you would possibly want children that don't look like your grandparents. On a more biological note, caucasians will be a minority and most likely extinct within a 100 years according to population statistics. I am a white male and I admit I love Mariah Carey…a lot, but if future races want blond babes to be around, think twice. I personally had the chance to date a korean girl and turned it down because I want hot korean girls around for a long time:)

No, I do not plan on burning a cross any time soon.

Eve says:
Thu, 21st Aug 20088:34 pm 

I'm a first generation African American, and of my 3 serious boyfriends, two were white and one was a Latino. My parents don't approve, but mostly because they're really religious and don't want me even talking to boys. Me? I think people are people, no matter the skin color. I don't think far enough ahead to consider what my children will look like. At this point, I don't even know if I want children, but if I have them, I hope I'll love them no matter what color their skin is, and I don't consider that self-hate at all.

msday says:
Sat, 23rd Aug 20089:49 pm 

Stop rationalizing the reason for other people staring. Staring is rude period! It doesn't matter what the reason. Staring is also a form of nonverbal aggression. My advice, get some Bible handouts and whenever someone stares, "ask if they have found Jesus". That'll stop it.

Rick says:
Mon, 2nd Nov 200911:56 pm 

Well, I am an Indian (male)an avid traveler, photographer and a musician. I admire human relationships, interracial too because they are tad more interesting(cant qualify this statement though). Being an interracial couple is beautiful in some senses.

On staring at – The truth is that an interracial couple stand out. Now, some notice with a thought .."Oh.. how sweet!" and some "Why him/her….?" or "what's cookin?…" or "why not me?… " Some stare at obnoxiously, some are more gentle and only notice, some don't care. Well, If i noticed an interracial couple, i would ask if they could work on a photo shoot with me, because i love capturing them, there is certain element on beauty.

On "Indian" views about an American – I have lived in the US. I think Americans (some of my very close friends and others) are very cool. I have had some great times with them. Most of the people have been very nice to me and I would be the last man to think American girls date for money. I guess the problem lies in "Traditions".. it is probably their social circle/family who do not readily accept a nice white girl although this is changing.

desi says:
Wed, 4th Nov 20091:31 pm 

I am a white girl with an indian boyfriend. I have never really noticed any stares when in public, i actually expect them. However I am faced with a dilema, my boyfriend has told his parents and they are fine with the relationship as long as i can adapt to the change from american ways to indian ones. When taking into account the whole family which is in India, it's questionable if I will be accepted at all.

I am slowly learning indian cooking, hindi & guju, celebrating various holidays and dances, I dress desi on certain occasions, dress appropriately daily, learning about hinduism….

I have been told that this relationship would be too much responsibility and too much to ask for from me. I am still trying to keep going but Im afraid he is not as willing. Please help me in anyway possible.

also i would never in my life date any man on the basis of money, i only want to find love. I also have experienced divorce in my family (mom and dad) and i know that i will never in my life divorce!!

dee dee says:
Mon, 7th Dec 200912:20 am 

well actually no matter how 'international' or outward looking you are, i still feel that even you (the person in the relationship) does think twice more than they would if they were in same race relationship. being bestfriends with different race is easy and you judge them by their personality. but for dating, you would consider it more.

i'm from Hong Kong and i used to date this indian guy. even at first i got to admit that i was conscious of that fact. i had been bestfriends with other indians and have alot of indian schoolmates and friends. but in the dating scenerio there's a different point.

even in a city like hong kong so international and the indian community is relatively large, people would still stare when i hung out with my indian friends. when i was dating, when ppl glanced, i wasn't really sure if it was because it was truly the interracial aspect or really just the normal 'looking at couples' together kinda thing.

coz even for myself, when i see a couple together in public i still glance and smile regardless of race

Ranjit says:
Fri, 14th May 201011:00 am 

Hi, Is this thread closed? I am an Indian guy and dating a white girl. We are so in love. We started off as friends, infact she was trying to hook me up with an Indian girl friend of hers but it didnt work out. Everybody in this world wants to be loved, some find it within their own race, some find it outside. Traditional parents, strangers, etc should backoff and let the couple decide for themselves if they are meant to be or not. It would be a shame to let go off a wonderful person based on their skin color. Best of luck to all!

blah says:
Sun, 30th May 20109:00 pm 

You're a shit skin loving whore. I hope you get HIV

Lacy says:
Tue, 20th Jul 201012:49 pm 

Hi first of all…blah. youre an assface and you shouldnt be allowed to say things like that. that is so super insensitive…”i hope you get HIV?” you seriously must be like 12 or something.

anyways, I am mixed with black and white. I grew up around a predominantly white family (both of my grandparents on my dads side passed away before I could meet them). My mother is white and my father is black. I am 16 years old and I know completely what it is like to be stared at. When I was little I used to ride around in the grocery basket and people would give us stares like we were not human. My mom must have been crazy to even consider marrying a black guy…love has no color.
And now that I am with someone I really care about and love that is a different race than I am, I understand that sometimes people fall in love with the least expected person. (love also has no age limit so dont say anything about me being too young please). We are not thinking about marriage or anything right now because obviously we are to young for that but we are almost out of highschool and we are in a serious relationship. He hasnt told his parents because of the cultural aspect, I really dont think it has anything to do with religion though. He is from Punjab, India (well his parents are; he is from California.) But he has two older siblings (a 26 year old brother and a 24 year old sister that have both done it “the right way”) I understand the respect for your parents but it really is hard to understand why he wont tell them from my perspective.

But if you put yourself in his shoes then he is probably scared…scared to choose between you or his family. Scared to stand up for you, the person he loves…there are a lot of reasons. So all I can do is be patient. We have been together for almost 5 months which can seem like forever in teenage years but really isnt that long at all, so if I wait it out and he really truly loves me maybe one day he will tell his parents and hopefully they will understand (even if they are traditional).

Thats really all I can tell you though. I love my boyfriend and people give us stares all the time but love is not easy and every relationship has its obstacles. Just keep eachother in mind always and all the people staring (for whatever reason) will go away because all you’ll be focused on is the two of you together. (my white grandparents didnt accept my dad at first either but now they love him, so maybe one day the public as a whole will love you all…and society will finally give love an unjudged chance!)

iamcanadian says:
Tue, 17th Aug 201011:42 am 

lmao, just take a look at the brown people staring at you, you'll notice that it's all brown guys. the only reason they're staring is cause they're trying to figure out how that brown guy started dating you, take it as a compliment… and yea, it's kinda weird, but a lot of brown guys seem to stare..

(btw, im a brown guy from canada)

FSd says:
Mon, 23rd Aug 201012:38 am 

I haven't had any annoying staring issues when dating asian women, but I guess it's a common sight now to see them with a white guy. We do get a lot of smiles though from older people though.

However, we don't make a scene about it. Sometimes I see the same black guy / white girl couples holding hands and visiting every business in town together while holding hands.

It really made me think about how annoying interracial couples can be to everyone else. For example, I saw this older blonde lady just rubbing her black boyfriend's back while pumping gas and she was totally making a scene because about 10 cars where waiting in line and she was doing that right in front of an SUV with a couple black ladies among all people. She didn't give a rats ass about others, she just wants to show she's in love, so la dee da!

Just be tactful people. Don't rub it in because it only looks like trash. You definitely shouldn't bum around town holding hands just to profess your love to the public because that's just abnormal, maybe you should get a relationship that isn't based on getting attention. Just because someone is looking at you doesn't mean they like what they see.

D says:
Fri, 27th Aug 20108:32 pm 

Mix all colors together what do you get "black" ! = chimpanzee's color so we are all decendants of it only thing the regional cold weather changed our skin colors.

Browns chaps are staring because they also long for a IR relationship not because they hate it.

Indian says:
Thu, 16th Sep 20106:17 am 

Phuck all of you. Especially your white bitches.

BTiger says:
Sat, 25th Sep 201012:01 pm 

I am a Brown guy, laid back, good looking, with a kind of (dont know where he is from accent). I am from the indian subcontinent which means I am from a country next to India.

I have lived in Pennsylvania for a year and there are a lot of white people of german descent and the women are truly hard to get. Now I like women of all races but the majority here are white so I have to go after white women, but I thought white women are not racist, but sometimes I find it hard to accept that, maybe there some who are, and sometimes I do get paranoid about it. I mean i dont go out to impress them and I dont need to, Im just myself, and a lot of them also have personal problems, with kids and ex husbands and boyfriends and so forth. Its pretty hard to get a decent white girl with no baggage and they are mostly taken.

Anya says:
Sat, 21st May 201112:21 pm 

I'm dating an Indian as well, I haven't noticed any staring though, but it may be because he's only and eighth, but he's still extremely tan. I would have to agree with the guys that said they're just staring because they long for an interracial relationship as well. Don't knock yourself sweetie, I'm sure you're gorgeous.. and girls these days don't usually go for the minority.. they go for the rich "bad boy".

kashmiri says:
Sun, 29th May 20113:36 pm 

I am an indian male in love with white women. I am kashmiri indian so i'm fair and good looking. I have noticed that it totally depends on the girl. very very few girls actually consider brown guys. But those who do, you have a good chance at them. Most of these girls are not the hottest of the lot. They are okay, above average but very seldom you'll find a hot girl in this "i love brown" group.
Most white girls are outright racists. I've experienced it myself. While introducing myself, when i tell them my nickname, which is english, they are fine with it, some time later as soon as i tell them i'm indian, i can see a bit of shock on their faces, followed by decreased interest.
A few weeks ago i was grinding with a girl, and her friend looked closely at me for 3-4 mins, she told her friend "hes not white", the girl at once got off my c.
This is the reality. live with it.

paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:10 am 

i hope you get hives all up in your face, really bad hives and then boils. and then i hope you die a slow death.

Paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:11 am 

I'm Sri Lanken and i'm dating a Greek girl. we live in Toronto so its fairly common so see interracial couples. Though we do get stares now and then, some from young people like us, some from old people, and yeah i do find its usually white people or brown people who stare at us. But yeah people will stare, people are messed up and dont understand. just keep your chin up girl.

paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:11 am 

hahahahahahahha that would work

paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:14 am 

hey why dont you go poo in your hand then shove that down your throat?

paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:16 am 

dude, keep dating within your own race and the genetic material will eventually get weaker, you need to breed with other races to have stronger offspring, and traits like blonde do get passed down, its just rarer when you mix.

Also your not having a child with every girl you date, so relax and stop freaking about kids and live your life.

paris says:
Fri, 27th Jan 20121:18 am 

ok nothing against asian white couples but there ARE A LOT OF YOU. i walk out my door and i see at least three before i come home again. maybe the next big race will be asian white, maybe we're seeing the beginning of an entirely new race…this could be big