Checking Out the Scenery? Be Careful.
“There’s a really hot guy in my Shakespeare class,” my girlfriend informed her roommate and me during lunch the other day. My first immediate thought was “Why have I not seen this guy?”. My second immediate thought was “I wonder exactly how hot he is.”
It didn’t really occur to me at all that I should have been jealous or angry or even concerned, and my girlfriend seemed just about as intrigued as I did when I told her about the tall, silent, fairly attractive guy in the corner of my Shakespeare class.
Ogling is a tricky little subject. The problem is that just because you now have a girl doesn’t mean every other gal and/or guy instantly ceases to be attractive. Hot people still exist (thank God), and there isn’t some magical on/off switch that makes you think your girl is the hottest one on the planet (not that this is a bad thing to think).
It also kind of complicates matters that ogling when you’re in a girl/girl relationship is one of the things that’s VERY different from the way it is in a girl/boy relationship. It depends all on your significant other’s personality, of course; I’m not gonna say that ALL girls are okay with ogling and ALL guys are against it. For me, though, I’ve never had a boyfriend who entirely appreciated me leaning to the side and checking out that one guy’s amazingly shaped ass or that girl’s near perfect rack. My girl now is totally okay with it. So what’s the big deal?
The key, the most important, the most VITAL thing you need to have in your relationship is mutual understanding and respect; and that doesn’t just apply to checking out other attractive members of your species. It applies to everything. If you’re worried that your girl is upset because you peeped at that one guy’s oh-so-pretty eyes or you’re worried because your girl did the same, for God’s sake, talk to her!
The best part about being in a relationship with women is that you don’t have to scramble up the gender wall to relay messages back and forth. She’ll understand, especially if she and you both know that neither of you mean any harm. If she doesn’t – and this applies to my straight girls, too – there is a very legitimate chance that you may not have the strongest of relationships.
In closing? Yes, I do think it’s okay – and healthy – to check out other birds’ plumage when you’ve already got your own mate.
Just be careful.
Tell us what you're thinking...
How to Screw Up the First Date
Why Jennifer Lawrence is the Coolest Actress Ever
Men in Black Take on The Avengers
Jeopardy Without Trebek?!
Stop Sleeping With Your Ex!
Anna says:
Sun, 17th Feb 20085:14 pm
Cheers! If you're comfortable enough with yourself to not be bothered when your significant other (whatever gender they may be) thinks someone is hot, then you'll be fine. I don't expect my boyfriend to not notice hot girls… in fact, he usually shares and then I give him my opinion on them. I know he's not going anywhere, and it helps to look at it this way: If your BF/GF is checking someone out but still wants to be with you, obviously you're doing something right
Monique says:
Thu, 27th Mar 200812:02 am
I actually think that if "both people are comfortable" with "checking out the scenary" then it is perfectly respectable.
More often than not, one person doesn't like it when his or her GF or BF does it to them. It can be DISRESPECTFUL to your significant other and the relationship if you check other people out in front of them. Even if you are confident and secure in the relationship and your partner is also. It can still be "uncomfortable and inapproriate". If your partner feels uncomfortable with you checking out others then it's best not to disrespect your partner or the relationship.