Are You Over Your Ex? The Answer Ain’t So Simple.

Judging from last week’s CC poll, a lot of you feel confused about your exes.

Join the club.

I think a lot of us fear that there might be something wrong if we still have feelings for an ex, even years later.

Society tells us that we’re supposed to kick it and move on, that we should say “tough luck” if somebody dumps us, and that we should never again be tempted to kiss somebody we’ve ended a relationship with.

…For real?

Even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years, and I can’t imagine any scenario in which I would break up with him, I still feel a little wishy-washy about a few of my exes. Doesn’t everybody? Sure, there are a couple I’d just as soon never talk to again, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about them every week or two (even if it is just in passing).

There’s one I think about almost every day, even though I wouldn’t date him again if somebody paid me ten million dollars. And then there’s the guy that I could swear still has a thing for me, because he’s continually trying to get us to meet up—and whenever we do see each other, he looks at me with Those Eyes.

So, the question that I have is: How can anybody be expected to “move on” so quickly when we leave such an extensive trail of emotions behind?

I know that it’s best for relationships to come to an end sometimes. But there are some things I will never understand, like how someone who breaks up with you can love you just the same as always one day and then not love you enough to continue the relationship the next day.

Romance is hardly a color-within-the-lines activity, I know. But I think if people stopped telling us to move on and started telling us to accept our conflicted feelings and work through them instead, we’d end up moving on much more quickly and easily.

CC readers, what do YOU think? Is it possible to just “move on”? What are some things you do to help yourself sort through feelings about an ex?