Nintendo, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

girlgamer “Oh, so you’re a girl gamer?”

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had this said to me. In the middle of a conversation with a few other guys, video games seem to come up fairly often. And fairly often, I end up commenting “Yes, you can beat Through The Fire And Flames on hard, it’s just…hard,” or “Yes, Portal was too short!” or “No, the best Zelda game was Ocarina of Time, hands DOWN.” And inevitably, one of them stares…and then tugs me to the side and asks the question. What clued you in, darling?

I love video games. I spent my preteen and teenage years mashing away on my Nintendo 64 controller, and I admit that Nintendo holds a very special place in my heart. So I was admittedly curious, but wary, when I found out about Nintendo releasing a magazine entitled “GirlGamer” on DS Fanboy.

I felt a little bit of my soul die when I clicked that link.

On the cover was a woman who looked like she had just fallen out an old black and white Nick-At-Nite show. But the atrocity, the utter waste of ink, was just on the other side. An article on Cooking Mama 2? A contest to win Babyz?

Let me tell you some things, Nintendo. Number one: I hate pink. Never try to sell me something if it is pink, because I won’t buy it. Number two: I do not wear makeup like Mimi Bobeck. Number three: The only game I will ever buy that mimics cooking is Harvest Moon. Number four: If I stay away from real babies, what makes you think I want a virtual one? No, thanks; if I want to play a game about something cute on my DS, I’ll go wash my German Shepherd puppy.

I can see why this magazine is free; I would never, ever buy it. And if I want to read a gamer’s magazine, I will buy the one that everyone else reads.

Natalie says:
Wed, 20th Feb 20084:57 pm

Don’t even get me started on how much Nintendo have started to upset me in the last year or so. I love love love my DS, but the plethora of crapola, disgraceful ‘games’ that keep being released pisses me off. I don’t want to play anything that ends in a ‘z’, i don’t want to ‘imagine’ anything. I want a game i can play. I don’t want to be pigeonholed just because i am a girl. I used to live for my playstation and i play the xbox. I like to shoot things too!!! I don’t like to play with pets and i don’t want to be a fashion designer!!

What an awful, insulting magazine…or maybe i’m taking it too personally. =]

Elise says:
Wed, 20th Feb 20084:59 pm

Preach it, sister. Do they *know* how many girls play World of Warcraft, Guild Wars and Halo? Do they *know* that part of what makes us “girl gamers” is our love of the kill?

…Do they *know* what we have to do to get respect in online gaming? Because I don’t know about you, but I resent the crap out of the “girl gamer” dichotomy: either guys are lining up to give us things and beg us for sexual favors, or they’re laughing us out of guild vs. guild battles because ‘girls only make good monks’. There’s a reason I pretend to be a 13-year-old boy online, folks.

And this magazine is a huge step backwards for all of us who possess both breasts and a mad Elementalist build.

cali says:
Wed, 20th Feb 200810:31 pm

I’m sad to say I am not longer a gamer but I was a incredibly intense starcraft and diablo player all throughout elementary school and middle school and wow the looks I would get when I would mention how excited I was for diablo II! I slowly stopped playing computer games throughout high school due to time management issues but I would still kick my brother’s friends asses when taking turns playing grand theft auto iii haha.

Seriously this magazine makes me want to vomit! I know they are trying to target another demographic but COME ON! Now your just making it ten times harder for girl gamers to gain respect!

Christine says:
Wed, 20th Feb 200810:38 pm

Only good as monks? Bitches, I OWN as an Elemental. And don’t mess with me if I’m an archer. I’ll bring you down faster than you can blink.

I love it when I go to LANs and I’m one of the two girls there. Especially when we play games that I’m quite good at, like C&C. Oooooh I can own at that.

I’m not going to bother looking at the magazine if every true gamer chick is saying it’s shit. I trust everyone’s judgment in these matters.

And Ocarina of Time IS the best Zelda game. Hardcore LOVE that game.

Allison says:
Wed, 20th Feb 200811:44 pm

OK, so I don’t game. Forgive me but Guitar Hero is about as far as I go. (But how I do love to rock!)

But as a friend of multiple gamers, and as a girl, I can say I’m fairly offended and, yes, disguised about the way in which this magazine targets girls.

Have they ever met a girl gamer? Really? I have never known anyone excited about virtual “Babyz,” or cooking on a DS. This is pathetic, and more than a little sexist. Girls usually become gamers because they like the action and the challenge. It’s not like they got hooked in by games mimicking housewives.

Cooking? Really?

I thought we had moved past this, but just the cover of that publications makes me loose faith in the whole idea of female equality.

It’s damn sad.

Stacy K says:
Sun, 24th Feb 20083:29 pm

I am in complete agreement. As a games store sales assistant, it never ceases to amaze me the amount of tripe that is released/bought by ditzy girls. Titles like “Pet Vet” and “Fashion Designer”, and (my personal favourite) “Imagine Babies”. Imagine Babies? I’d rather not, thanks.

Luckily there are true nerd-c0re women in this world, and for this I am thankful