J.Lo’s Babies Suck Already

I knew it was a bad idea for Jennifer Lopez to have a baby.

By CC Staff

I knew it. My reasoning, initially, was that there is NO WAY that she wouldn’t be the most selfish mother on the planet earth. I figured, she’ll pop out two super demons and quickly drop them off with some nanny named Maria that she can holler at in Spanish on how to raise her children, while she exercises her famous ass off on the Stairstepper and gets back to taking over the world… one floppy umbrella hat at a time.

Oh no, instead she has decided to breed a new set of materialistic, cashmere wrapped, $169 dollar onesie wearing, BABIES. I understand that money is all “perspective” but for Gods sake, what happens when they spit up on their cashmere blankie? Does it become a dish towel, or toilet paper??

The babies don’t know the difference, the parents do. Therefore, J.Lo’s ridiculous spending is just validation that she has an irrational case of diva behavior. Even Beyonce would be impressed by this.

Let’s give you the run down:

-Changing table $1,780….for something that will have shit on it. every. single. day.

-Cashmere cardigan, hat and booties $279

-Two Chelsea Sleigh Cribs $1,390

and a $1,290…..DIAPER BAG. WHAT?! For diapers? That I’m sure J.Lo won’t even tote (but her assistant will).

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if caviar was the first “solid” Jenny From The Block gives her kids.

…Welcome to the world you lucky little shits.