Changing My Ways…Or Trying To

By Lauren

A friend of a friend of mine once told me that she didn’t see me as the “relationship girl”.“I see you more as the girl who goes to the bar to find random guys to bring home,” she told me. At first I didn’t know what to think. Was she calling me a skanky whore?

“Well, yes. That is exactly what I am calling you.”

The more I thought about it, though, the more I could understand. Our friendship hadn’t extended much past seeing each other at bars or parties, places where I do indeed spend my evening flirting with unsuspecting males.

What this girl (and other people) doesn’t see are the intimate talks I have with these men in my room, and my attempts to turn these randoms into something more. For example, the following story:

I was at a house party one night and found myself attracted to a tall man across the room. Being a woman of 5’10 it is not always easy to find someone taller than me, so when I do I am drawn to them like a stoner to a cupcake. I sipped my beer as I struck up a conversation with that evening’s man. Soon, we were making out in a corner, something I swore I’d never do after freshman year. Eh, what can ya do?

Anyways, the man ended up leaving, but not before attempting to give me his number. Unfortunately, while he was in the bathroom I found another tall man to love and his attempts at something more had failed.

For the next five weeks, however, this boy was everywhere I went. I just couldn’t escape him: at the bar, at the gym, sitting outside my window. I realized that maybe I should give him a chance, that maybe for the first time in college I could have something last longer than twenty seven minutes.

So, for the next few weeks I flirted with Jon whenever I saw him and thought I was making some good headway. On one particular night I got all dressed up and made my way to my favorite bar (which also happened to be his) hoping to bring him home. When I walked in and saw his roommates across the room I tousled my hair, adjusted my breasts and made my way over.

“Hey, where is Jon?”

“Uh. He has to be at work early in the morning,” his roommate chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just that Jon doesn’t really do this whole relationship thing. He is not really committal.” I was devastated. First of all, this whole thing started because he was pursuing me! Second, I really took a chance and tried to make this go somewhere and instead I got totally burned.

In my moment of defeat I turned to the bartender, flashed a little cleavage and ordered a pitcher. Five minutes later the pitcher was gone, I was no longer angry, and everyone in the bar had grown extremely attractive…especially Jon’s roommate.

He looked good the next morning too.

And the next weekend.

Two nights. My longest relationship yet.