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Life Changing Sex: The One Night Stand That Rocked
March 1, 2008 Posted in Relationships, Sex
Taking someone home from the bar when I was still in school was a fairly normal occurrence. Just like drinking in the bathroom while I got ready, or dance parties with my roommates before heading out to the bar, finding a man for some late night fun was always a given when going out.
The entire situation was bittersweet, really. I would put on my sexiest top of the day (which was ever-changing with a weekly run to Forever 21), smoke out my eyes, throw back a few cocktails and look for a guy to make out with in the corner. Once I set my sights on someone, I would work them until I had them hooked then toss em in a cab and go on home.
I made myself believe that it was all fun and games; that everyone needed a little action sometimes and I was just fulfilling that need. But the truth was the only thing being fulfilled was my self esteem. Finding a guy was not about having an orgasm (or trying….so hard….with some of the guys I managed to bring back), but about the high of knowing someone found me sexually attractive. That high, like most, would wear off soon after the boy of the evening left, without so much as passing me his number.
The morning-after low would then set in; I began questioning if he found me sexy or if he was just drunk, if he regretted anything in the morning, and why I could never find anyone who would want to stick around. Then I would do the whole thing over again the following night.
Once I left college and realized that taking men home from the bar was not the safest idea in the world, I also realized that it wasn’t the best for my mental health either. I started going out and focusing on having a good time with my friends rather than judging the success of an evening based on whether or not I went home alone.
But a few months ago I relapsed. I saw a hot guy at the bar – you know, the kind that everyone in the room is watching and you know is way out of your league so you just admire him from afar. Before I knew it, he was flirting with me and the next thing I knew I was curled up in his bed after a wild sexathon. As I drove home from his place – bra in hand – I felt good. Really good.
Unlike all those times before, this particular situation made me feel powerful and sexier than I had ever felt in my life. My self confidence exploded and I realized that I was a lot better than I was giving myself credit for; that I could get a lot better than I thought I was capable of. I am sure that self confidence stemming from a night of (hot) passionate sex isn’t the healthiest thing in the world, but it happened. And it has changed my outlook on everything.
I know it sounds crazy, but my one-night-stand sorta changed my life.
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Lidia says:
Tue, 4th Mar 20082:47 pm
I have had one positive one-night-stand recently, and it was with the boy who most considered to be an artistic GOD in high school – who I also had the biggest crush on.
It made me feel totally empowered that I have conquered what 6 years ago as a freshman in highschool I considered way out of my league and unattainable. And the best part – HE wanted me and was a total gentleman!
Natasha says:
Wed, 5th Mar 200810:08 am
The same exact thing happened to me last fall. Ever since the end of senior year of college, I'd shed my seductive persona in exchange for an on/off again serious, but awful relationship.. which eventually crashed and burned after two years. I'd sworn to never enter one-night stand land again, and then found myself right back in familiar territory at a friend's wedding. After one night with the hottest (and most chivalrous) guy I'd laid eyes on in ages, I felt like a new person, with more confidence than I'd ever had in the past two years. Now, seven months and another relationship later, I still feel just as self-assured.
Christy says:
Sun, 9th Mar 20087:19 pm
So the one night stand that changed my life…
New Years Eve will never be the same for me, but even more so because we were sober enough in the morning to exchange numbers and he turns out to be a really sweet guy.
It was also the first time in 4 years since graduating that I bothered to pursue a man and I learned a lot about myself by looking back on that night… He didn't come on strong or arrogant, just self-assured. Mmmm I love confidence in a man!
Mandy says:
Fri, 21st Mar 20083:16 pm
I got my rush in rejecting the hot one night stand guy. It was such a self-esteem booster to realize that not only do really attractive guys want me, but also that I'm not obligated to sleep with every guy who makes a pass at me. I finally realized that my self esteem wasn't going to improve by hooking up with whatever I could get, and I didn't need to be another name he could drop around his friends.*
*This guy also had a reputation, and I was interested in someone else at the time. I didn't just reject him for the hell of it.
ungrateful says:
Tue, 1st Apr 20086:13 pm
It's like the junkie getting another fix. Hot sex with a stranger is a fix that releases natural drugs in you system producing a nice high.
You quit for a while and then that one more seemed so much better than all the ones before.
You are a sex addict.
Don't worry, you aren't in bad company.
Im gq says:
Wed, 22nd Dec 20107:00 pm
Any relatively decent looking female can get a guy to have sex with her. Getting him to settle down is a different story.