Ashlee Simpson Was Tired–I Mean Drunk

I’m not one of those people who gets super excited when celebrities make asses of themselves. Truthfully, I could care less if LiLo takes a sip of champagne or Britney goes out clubbing with her Dad (was that weird to anyone else? I mean, nothing says ‘my family is irrevocably strange’ than hitting up clubs with your pops).

If Young Hollywood wants to be sluts and douchebags, let ‘em. Maybe someday soon they’ll flush themselves out and finally make room for some actual talent to come through.

Ashlee Simpson seems ready and willing to help with that massive flush each and every time she makes a public appearance. Take, for example, her little snafu today at a DC radio station.

Insisting that his client was “simply just tired”, a representative for the younger Simpson sibling defended her slurred and loopy guest appearance on this morning’s Hot 99.5’s Kane In The Morning show.

“Ashlee was absolutely not intoxicated this morning on Hot 99.5”, her representative whines. “She has been working extremely hard traveling across the country to promote her upcoming new album by performing at night and waking up very early the next day to do radio interviews in the morning – like any of us would be – she was simply just tired.”

I love the “I was tired” excuse. It’s so the opposite of believable.

Look, people. When I’m exhausted, I’m bitchy, I’m monosyllabic, and I put my eyeliner on crooked. I don’t say bizarre things and slur my words. Exhaustion does not make you SLUR YOUR WORDS. It makes you say, “I’m sorry, I’m really tired this morning, give me a second to collect my thoughts.”

You know what DOES make you slur your words though? Liquor. Too much of it. Oh yeah, and pills. Well, those things and having a stroke—but I mean, Ashlee didn’t have a stroke.

She may, however, have been really f&*cking hungover.

Just say it like it is, Young Hollywood: “I’m young, I’m rich, no one tells me what to do. So I got ass-backwards drunk the night before a big radio interview. Who cares? Let’s talk about how awesome I am.”

At least you’d be telling the truth.