To Call or Not to Call?

March 4, 2008     Posted in Relationships, Sex

PhoneI am not good with confrontation. I am, however, quite good at ignoring the situation at hand. If you ignore something long enough, it goes away, right? So far, my theory has been working just fine.

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By Sues

A few months ago, I went on two dates with a perfectly nice guy. There was nothing wrong with him. In fact, on paper, he was very much my type. But the sparks weren’t there and I just wasn’t very excited by him. So, when he called for a third date, I didn’t answer. He called again and I didn’t answer again. I picked up the phone several times to call him back, but then I just didn’t.

I went to my friends for help and they offered a variety of different opinions. Some of my friends said I should just call him and say my schedule suddenly got busy and I didn’t know when I would be free. Some said to call and be honest telling him I just wasn’t feeling it. And some claimed it was OK for me not to return his calls. “He’ll get the point,” they said. “And nobody has to be made uncomfortable.” Not one to make people uncomfortable, I took their advice and continued not calling him.

After attempting one more phone call to me, he got the point and didn’t call again. My life went on. Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like a bad person, but I try to remind myself that I saved us both a great deal of discomfort.

So what that I live in constant fear I could run into him at any point? I took the easy way out and it’s better for now. I’ll worry about seeing him when I see him.

Now excuse me while I hide behind this lamppost.

4 Comments on "To Call or Not to Call?"
  1. Chris says:
    Wed, 5th Mar 20086:14 am 

    I've had a girl ignore me for a couple of weeks, and it was a terrible experience. In the end, I left her a message just telling her that it was okay to tell me the truth, which she quickly then did.

    I don't get why girls think it's so hard to just say, "No thanks", especially when it's not face-to-face. I felt so much relief when I heard her outright rejection of me, as opposed to a prolonged uncertainty.

    In my darkest cynicism, I think that girls kind of like knowing that some guy (even one they don't like) is having to constantly think about them. People complain about obsessors and stalkers, but there's a certain boost to one's narcissism when that happens. When you tell the guy that there's no chance, then he'll be chatting up some new girl shortly.

  2. E says:
    Sun, 9th Mar 200811:25 am 

    You should`ve told him the truth. It´s us girls when we get the same treatment complain about the uncertainty of not konwing what happened.

    I´m just as you, I prefer to ignore a blatant truth to say anything, but, JUST in cases like this, prefer to be honest.

  3. Janers says:
    Tue, 11th Mar 200810:20 pm 

    "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You". Luke 6:31

  4. Alex says:
    Mon, 20th Oct 20083:46 pm 

    It really hurts to be on the other end of that, by saving yourself a little discomfort you are causing that guy that really likes you a lot of pain.

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