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PDADD (Puff Daddy Against Drunk Driving)

Good news! The roads are safe again. No more drunken Nicole Richie cruising the Pacific Coast Highway the wrong way. I bet you think it’s because she’s a mom now and, therefore, is either, A) too responsible and motherly to do that, or B) too busy changing diapers to go out and party.

Guess again.

I mean, I guess that could have something to do with it. But what if I told you that the streets – and everyone walking/driving on ’em – were also safe from Paris, Britney and Lohan? I know, I know; when pigs fly. Or, perhaps, when P-Diddy decides to take on yet another business venture.

Obviously, his clothing line/record company/MTV show/hunt for an assistant/being a (Puff) daddy aren’t enough for the mogul; Mr. Combs has now decided to add a transportation company to the mix. And not just any transportation company – this one is focused solely on getting (rich and famous) people home from the bar.

Awww. He cares about people’s safety! Sort of, at least. “After partnering with Ciroc vodka, he wants to make sure everyone’s partying responsibly,” says one of his many people.

The whole thing is really cute and responsible, but it still begs the question of why these rich and famous people can’t afford their own transportation home from a night of partying. I make 100 times less money than any of these people and even I manage to hail a freaking cab after a night of Sake Bombs.

Sure, the rich and famous aren’t going to stand on the corner waiting for a taxi, but there have been limo services/private drivers around for celebs forever; what makes P-Diddy think his service is going to make a difference?

Another question on everyone’s minds (or mine) is what Puffy is going to call his newest venture. Combs’ Cars? Late Night Transpufftation? Diddy’s DDs?

Sorry, Sean, but just like Danity Kane, I don’t think this one is going to work out for you. Unless, of course, you create a reality show about the hunt for drivers.

I would definitely pay to watch that.

When my mom moved me into my dorm freshman year she left me $65 to buy a humidifier. I took that money and bought a pair of heels because I can sleep without damp air blowing in my face, but I can't rock a humidifier with a hot black mini.