Comments on: Cheating: Who Is To Blame? http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/ Advice on student style, collegiate dating discussion guides, relationship advice and women's studies. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:55:22 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: R http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10482 R Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:44:06 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10482 Here we go I was a cheating wife, mother and friend...The biggest mistake I ever made...There are reasons why people cheat I think we will all agree most of the time it is neglect leaving you feel hopeless and unwanted...however it made me feel good the affair for sometime but the time it has taken me to recover from this huge mistake the dissapointment in my husbands and my childrens eyes I will never get over and would never want to see that look again I tried so hard to speak with my husband about neglecting me He just did not care turned me into something I am not proud of we are divorced now it has been 3 years Men have needs to Not that I can give advice however, I learned from my mistakes If two people don't work hard on trying to make each other happy you will always start to build resentment and it will break down and crumble I agree with Dr. Laura society just do not want to believe it but it's true on both parts Men and Women I would never suggest it because the end results are not worth it Here we go I was a cheating wife, mother and friend…The biggest mistake I ever made…There are reasons why people cheat I think we will all agree most of the time it is neglect leaving you feel hopeless and unwanted…however it made me feel good the affair for sometime but the time it has taken me to recover from this huge mistake the dissapointment in my husbands and my childrens eyes I will never get over and would never want to see that look again I tried so hard to speak with my husband about neglecting me He just did not care turned me into something I am not proud of we are divorced now it has been 3 years Men have needs to Not that I can give advice however, I learned from my mistakes If two people don’t work hard on trying to make each other happy you will always start to build resentment and it will break down and crumble I agree with Dr. Laura society just do not want to believe it but it’s true on both parts Men and Women I would never suggest it because the end results are not worth it

]]> By: Xanadu Xero http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10481 Xanadu Xero Fri, 17 Oct 2008 00:18:24 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10481 I think you'll enjoy my piece "DR. STRANGELOVE - THE NOTORIOUS LAURA SCHLESSINGER". She's a frustrating and complex creature, impossible to like, but impossible to dismiss. http://xanaduxero.blogspot.com/2007/11/dr-strangelove-notorious-laura.html I think you’ll enjoy my piece “DR. STRANGELOVE – THE NOTORIOUS LAURA SCHLESSINGER”.

She’s a frustrating and complex creature, impossible to like, but impossible to dismiss.

http://xanaduxero.blogspot.com/2007/11/dr-strangelove-notorious-laura.html

]]> By: Alex http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10480 Alex Tue, 12 Aug 2008 05:00:48 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10480 add-on: Her relationship with her boyfriend do not have any problem. The only problem is the boyfriend is abit of androcentrism while the girl is kinda sensitive type person add-on: Her relationship with her boyfriend do not have any problem. The only problem is the boyfriend is abit of androcentrism while the girl is kinda sensitive type person

]]> By: Alex http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10479 Alex Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:58:22 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10479 What do you guys think of this. I had this female friend who has a 6 years boyfriend. Is her 1st boyfriend too. But this that 6 years, she cheated on him. She dated other guys she attracted to, some ever managed to get her clothes off. Reason she doing it because she had only 1 boyfriend, never experience other type of guys and the temptation is so tempting. But, everytime she cheated on her boyfriend, she feel guilty and regret and willing to change. Eventually she still holding on to her boyfriend as she said he is still the best. I mean she still treat him nice and all, be with him. That's what she told me and what I see. The true is, I don't see the changes at all. She still dating other guys she attracted to. Did she slept with these guys, I have no idea. What do you guys think of this kind person? serial cheater? Or just some girl who think "don't have to a couple to make love"? Or some girl with a naive minded? What do you guys think of this. I had this female friend who has a 6 years boyfriend. Is her 1st boyfriend too. But this that 6 years, she cheated on him. She dated other guys she attracted to, some ever managed to get her clothes off. Reason she doing it because she had only 1 boyfriend, never experience other type of guys and the temptation is so tempting.

But, everytime she cheated on her boyfriend, she feel guilty and regret and willing to change. Eventually she still holding on to her boyfriend as she said he is still the best. I mean she still treat him nice and all, be with him. That’s what she told me and what I see.

The true is, I don’t see the changes at all. She still dating other guys she attracted to. Did she slept with these guys, I have no idea.

What do you guys think of this kind person? serial cheater? Or just some girl who think “don’t have to a couple to make love”? Or some girl with a naive minded?

]]> By: Shawna http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10478 Shawna Wed, 07 May 2008 11:15:15 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10478 Juliette, people also cheat BY CHOICE. No one is ever forced to cheat. I think that "blaming the victim" has become par for the course in society these days, and this is another example of that. Cheaters can feel less guilty for their actions because it's not totally their fault. It's because they were neglected and their needs weren't fulfilled. They were COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED in cheating on their spouse/significant other instead of actually trying to COMMUNICATE with the person they SUPPOSEDLY LOVE. Don't forget, the cheaters made the same choice to get married. The vow goes "for better or for worse" not "for better or I'm out of here". If they can't stay married to that person through tough times and feel the need to resort to cheating, then I agree, divorce is certainly a viable option. But then again, so is NOT CHEATING in the first place. There is always another way, but unfortunately many people are too blind to see it. That said, I wish everyone involved in this type of situation the best, and hope that their individual situations can be resolved peacefully, and hopefully with minimal emotional hardship. God Bless. Juliette, people also cheat BY CHOICE. No one is ever forced to cheat. I think that “blaming the victim” has become par for the course in society these days, and this is another example of that. Cheaters can feel less guilty for their actions because it’s not totally their fault. It’s because they were neglected and their needs weren’t fulfilled. They were COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED in cheating on their spouse/significant other instead of actually trying to COMMUNICATE with the person they SUPPOSEDLY LOVE. Don’t forget, the cheaters made the same choice to get married. The vow goes “for better or for worse” not “for better or I’m out of here”. If they can’t stay married to that person through tough times and feel the need to resort to cheating, then I agree, divorce is certainly a viable option. But then again, so is NOT CHEATING in the first place. There is always another way, but unfortunately many people are too blind to see it.

That said, I wish everyone involved in this type of situation the best, and hope that their individual situations can be resolved peacefully, and hopefully with minimal emotional hardship. God Bless.

]]> By: Juliette http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10477 Juliette Fri, 21 Mar 2008 16:29:26 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10477 Oh, come on. Give me a break already. Let's not forget that people, with very few exceptions, get married BY CHOICE. If they can't fulfill their partner's expectations, they should divorce. Men AND women. END OF STORY. Oh, come on. Give me a break already. Let’s not forget that people, with very few exceptions, get married BY CHOICE. If they can’t fulfill their partner’s expectations, they should divorce. Men AND women. END OF STORY.

]]> By: Mary http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10476 Mary Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:45:39 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10476 Cheating is normally a sign that there are problems in the relationship--perhaps a feeling of neglect or disconnection. That being said, however, there is NEVER an excuse to cheat. You may be unhappy, but you made a bond to be faithful to your significant other. If you're unsatisfied with the relationship, then you end it. Cheating is normally a sign that there are problems in the relationship–perhaps a feeling of neglect or disconnection. That being said, however, there is NEVER an excuse to cheat. You may be unhappy, but you made a bond to be faithful to your significant other. If you’re unsatisfied with the relationship, then you end it.

]]> By: Carly http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10475 Carly Tue, 18 Mar 2008 23:33:53 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10475 I might be in the minority here, but I don't think that cheating is EVER the non-cheater's fault. To me, there is absolutely no excuse for cheating and it is one of the worst possible things you can do to someone you are supposed to LOVE. Obviously relationships have problems, but if you're committed to the other person in the relationship, you stick with him or her through those problems. It certainly does happen that one person may be neglecting the other's needs and wants, but that is NOT an invitation nor even a viable reason for the other person to cheat. I might be in the minority here, but I don’t think that cheating is EVER the non-cheater’s fault. To me, there is absolutely no excuse for cheating and it is one of the worst possible things you can do to someone you are supposed to LOVE. Obviously relationships have problems, but if you’re committed to the other person in the relationship, you stick with him or her through those problems. It certainly does happen that one person may be neglecting the other’s needs and wants, but that is NOT an invitation nor even a viable reason for the other person to cheat.

]]> By: Dann http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10474 Dann Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:36:14 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10474 I know what I'm about to say might enrage some people, but bear in mind, it's just an example, a bit exaggerated, but I just want to make my point clear: What Dr Sclessinger said is like blaming the Western nations for terrorism. It's like saying oh the terrorists' attacks are a consequence of how neglected and ignored they have felt by the developed nations. People in Iraq are attacking the US because they feel that they as a nation have been ignored, neglected and not taken care of, so it's the US's fault for not helping these nations develop and survive... c'mon, let's stop blaming other people fopr our mistakes and start taking responsibility for our actions. If a relationship doesnt satisfy you, you talk about it, and if it isnt enough, you break up. Cheating is for cowards who dont have the courage to tell their partner what is going on. End of dicussion I know what I’m about to say might enrage some people, but bear in mind, it’s just an example, a bit exaggerated, but I just want to make my point clear:

What Dr Sclessinger said is like blaming the Western nations for terrorism. It’s like saying oh the terrorists’ attacks are a consequence of how neglected and ignored they have felt by the developed nations. People in Iraq are attacking the US because they feel that they as a nation have been ignored, neglected and not taken care of, so it’s the US’s fault for not helping these nations develop and survive… c’mon, let’s stop blaming other people fopr our mistakes and start taking responsibility for our actions. If a relationship doesnt satisfy you, you talk about it, and if it isnt enough, you break up. Cheating is for cowards who dont have the courage to tell their partner what is going on. End of dicussion

]]> By: Dann http://collegecandy.com/2008/03/17/cheating-who-is-to-blame/#comment-10473 Dann Mon, 17 Mar 2008 17:31:38 +0000 http://www.collegecandy.com/buzz/7686#comment-10473 I'm sorry but this whole "let's blame other people/society/the media for our actions" is getting a little annoying by now. People blame kids for the way their parents brought them up, which I guess makes some sense, because after all-they're kids. Then they go and blame teenagers who get drunk and high all the time because of the lack of love or attention they get at home. Well, in this case I guess the blame could be on both sides. But when you go and blame a spouse/person in a relationship for her/his partner's cheating- that's too much. If you are not getting what you want from the relationship, you TALK about it. If you're not mature enought to talk about what you need with your spouse, then you're not mature enough to even be in a relationship. And if tyou do that and still find yourself unsatisfied with the relationship, you either break up or get divorced. Thats it. No need for cheating ok? Or are you brave enough to cheat on your partner but not brave enpugh to face them and tell them that maybe the relationship should be over? I’m sorry but this whole “let’s blame other people/society/the media for our actions” is getting a little annoying by now. People blame kids for the way their parents brought them up, which I guess makes some sense, because after all-they’re kids. Then they go and blame teenagers who get drunk and high all the time because of the lack of love or attention they get at home. Well, in this case I guess the blame could be on both sides. But when you go and blame a spouse/person in a relationship for her/his partner’s cheating- that’s too much. If you are not getting what you want from the relationship, you TALK about it. If you’re not mature enought to talk about what you need with your spouse, then you’re not mature enough to even be in a relationship. And if tyou do that and still find yourself unsatisfied with the relationship, you either break up or get divorced. Thats it. No need for cheating ok? Or are you brave enough to cheat on your partner but not brave enpugh to face them and tell them that maybe the relationship should be over?

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