Christine says:
Mon, 17th Mar 20086:58 am 

I also do not drink at all. And I know at least one person who made it her personal mission to get me to drink. I turn 21 this year and I doubt I'll become an alcoholic by any means. I'm perfectly capable of going somewhere and having fun without getting wasted.

I guess it helps that I don't really like the taste of alcohol. *shivers*

Yay for being a minority!

annie says:
Mon, 17th Mar 20089:54 am 

YES! I am not alone!!! It's just not my scene and just not my thing. I don't judge others at all but I hate feeling like I'm just so ABNORMAL for a college student for not wanting to drink. I agree with the idea of being perfectly capable of having fun without getting wasted.

Alejandro says:
Mon, 17th Mar 20081:28 pm 

I support your choise, you're making a good point. Alcohol is sometimes used as a social lub or something, that's why there are so many people that drink thinking its going to make then more atractive or interesting.

nodfnogdno says:
Mon, 17th Mar 20087:36 pm 

how do you know you don't like something that you have never tried?

Kelly says:
Tue, 18th Mar 200810:02 am 

Ugh – to nodfnogdno – What a rude an unneccessary comment. Not to mention EXACTLY the type of comment I'm sure the poster hates. Why do you care?

Drink, don't drink – whatever.

Carly says:
Tue, 18th Mar 20082:26 pm 

Oh, Kelly, you are so right. But all hatred for nodfnogdno's comment aside, I have tried alcohol–a sip here and there–but that's not the point. Your question is like asking a non-smoker, "But how do you KNOW you don't like cigarettes?"

I am not trying to lump smoking and drinking together, because they're very different activities and drinking isn't documented to cause a person harm in the same way that smoking is. But I am trying to illustrate the point that I don't like alcohol because I don't like everything it's associated with: blurred judgment, drunk people, obnoxious behavior, parties, binge drinking, acting out of character, etc. A huge number of people drink responsibly and consequently act courteously even when drinking, but the fact remains that alcohol and drinking make me uncomfortable. That's how I feel, and that's how I know.

Toni says:
Wed, 26th Mar 20087:31 am 

I beg to differ with you about the harm caused from drinking compared with smoking. Alcohol has ruined many lives; heart disease, cancer, car wrecks, broken families etc. I think the alcolhol companies who are getting richer by the second should take some responsibility for the product they sell and promote to young people. I think you are a smart person who is not swayed by peer presure or advertisedments. You'll go far in this world. Stay true to your self!

Derek says:
Wed, 26th Mar 20083:07 pm 

I truly respect the fact that you don't drink. I myself don't drink either and I too get the same reactions from others. Have your own beliefs and be yourself!

Andrea says:
Mon, 31st Mar 20086:54 am 

Reading this made me soooo happy. I thought I was alone, being a college girl who doesn't drink or party. I don't drink for many reasons: 1) I don't believe that I have to consume something in order to have a good time, especially a substance that will alter my state of mind 2) I think alcolhol is disgusting, and I don't like being near people who drink it constantly. This is not to say that I hate people who drink, it is just to stay that I avoid people who drink regularly. Now parties…is it just me in thinking that when I here the words " throwing a party" or "having a party" I do not associate alcohol with it? Is it because I'm naive or because I think a party is a party and unless stated that means that there aren't going to be any alcohol drinks. Maybe that's just the way I think. I have no problem going to a party of a close friend, and when I do.. there is never any alcohol involved. Society today makes it seem like party= getting drunk. It's a sad situation especially for a nerd like me who thinks going to a party involves discussing favorites, playing video games, and laughing all night long.

Aleks says:
Mon, 16th Jun 20081:57 pm 

I completely agree with you. I dont drink, and never have because I dont need a social lub. However, I have found that not drinking has impaired my friendships with others who do drink because they just dont understand and therefore stop inviting you places etc. because you cant swap I did something stupid while drinking stories. And have you ever noticed that all drunk people ever say is "Dude, I am so drunk right now". Yeah, that is conducive to being social.

Carly - Grinnell says:
Mon, 16th Jun 20084:04 pm 

Thanks, Aleks. I totally agree. And Andrea–we should have a party sometime!! That is my kind of fun.

SoberFun says:
Fri, 4th Jul 20086:46 pm 

Oh wow, I am soo glad I found this forum! It's really difficult being the minority sometimes. I would love to be able to go to a party and not have to worry about being judged for not drinking or for going home before 2:00. I'm glad to see there are some college students who understand that more fun times can be had when you are sober, and, hey, there's a bonus – you'll actually remember them! I just never understood the attractiveness of alcohol. I'm happy having 0-1 drinks. In my opinion, it should stop there. But it doesn't. Even though I'm a fun-loving person with an easy-going personality I still feel like a complete outsider at every party I attend, just because I'm the only one without an altered brain state. Sad….but true.

stixxx11 says:
Sat, 26th Jul 20089:06 pm 

This forum has helped me out a little bit. I'm a sophomore in college and have always felt like I was the only one who doesn't drink. I've had the same problem as Aleks- It's like a kick in the rear because they don't incorporate me into any plans because they'd rather spend time with alcohol… and as a 19 year old police officer its gotten worse for me. I've just never felt like drinking, and I'm not comfortable being around it. I wish more people would be supportive of my choice.

John says:
Mon, 18th Aug 20085:02 am 

Andrea and Carly, I'm with you on your definition of a party!! I go to parties to try to meet people and have real conversations with them. Excessive alcohol kills that possibility. I'll admit that because of the stigma associated with not drinking, I've taught myself to have a beer when I go out. But I've never allowed myself to get drunk (and that is something that most people find shocking for a 28 year old guy). I also seek out the other party-goers who are drinking less. The problem is, almost everyone else DOES drink heavily, and parties become less and less fun for me with each passing hour. Two things tend to happen:

-People start to ignore me. I've realized that this is because they don't feel comfortable around a sober person.

-People take it upon themselves to help me "loosen up". If that's not arrogance, I don't know what is. I am who I am (which is, incidentally, a pretty goofy and easy-going person… WITHOUT alcohol.)

The thing I hate the most, though, is to see people who I ordinarily really like, become wild and out of control. It's like they have two personalities, and for the life of me, I have a hard time reconciling them. I see them in their normal state during the day and ask myself if these could truly be the same people I had seen the night before….

I'm sure all these things ring true to you other non-drinkers out there. Just please do me a favour and GO to the parties, the bars, etc., because that is the only way I will find others to socialize with

Jimmy says:
Sat, 6th Sep 20089:47 am 

I totally agree. I'm glad that i have chosen not to drink, its just dumb though.

People who like to party and drink will just look down on you or not trust you since you don't drink. I get the cold shoulder alot because people know that i am a non-drinker. Its a sad world we live in…

Autumn says:
Sun, 7th Sep 20082:33 pm 

Im so happy! I always get made to feel like im alone in the world, and everyone does treat me odd… I have even had a hard time keeping friends over the years…i turn 21 in a month and have decided not to have a party because last year i had a big party but told eveyone i wasnt providing alchol, and would appreciate it if they didnt bring any, cause i hated everyone getting drunk to celebrate MY birthday!….well the usuall 80 people or so that show up every year…dropped down to about 15…even my "CLOSE" friends "couldnt make it"….It hurt and now i understand that making the choice to not drink means giving up some thinks that are socially normal…

i still attend parties and go out but i have to say i find myself having less and less respect for the average drinker, and just because its socialy acceptable, i dont think its always right, and i shouldnt be judged as the odd one, just because i decided to make the smart choice in life….i save money, my body, and my life…and now ill always know who my real friends are……….

Lane says:
Tue, 16th Sep 20089:33 pm 

Thank God there are other people out there like me. After the ridiculous drunken drama I watched all my friends deal with this weekend it's good to know I'm not the last person on Earth that would rather curl up with a book then get wasted.

Roger says:
Thu, 18th Sep 20082:37 pm 

yeah im about to go a party at some1's house where there will be alcohol and whenn i told him i don't drink his eyes open and he was like what… alright thats cool what should i expect at this party any1?

Kaitlin says:
Sat, 18th Oct 20087:45 pm 

I agree!

At least people believe you. When people find out I'm in college, they ask if I like it. I respond telling them it is fun. This is when they smile weirdly and ask how the parties are. When I say I don't drink, they roll their eyes. SO many people have told my mom that she is gullible for falling for my lies when she shares that I do not drink.

However, when some people do happen to believe me, they try to convince me to drink (which never works)

I am sorry I choose to have fun WITHOUT alcohol… it is possible. AND us non drinkers can have fun and remember it the next day. Doesn't get much better than that.

Mallory says:
Tue, 28th Oct 20088:46 pm 

I wish there were more people like this!

Jared says:
Wed, 29th Oct 20089:31 am 

I can completely agree with the article and many of the posters. It's completely understandable why people don't like to drink. I, for one, can't stand super-packed parties where everyone's wasted, or spending 20 minutes walking the 10 yards from one end of a bar to another to get out of there.

That being said, I think alcohol is fine on some occasions. I don't label myself as a drinker or a non-drinker, I do whatever the situation lends itself towards. If I'm going out to lunch with some friends and a restaurant has some interesting self-brewed beers as well, I might have one with lunch, and I don't see that as wrong. I enjoy the taste of whatever I drink (read: no shots, no spirits straight, no super-strong drinks), and my favorite happens to be beer.

I think it's more the culture associated with drinking that are things to be avoided. I currently attend UMass Amherst, which has a pretty decent party school reputation. I also have a particular major, the other students of which I've noticed to have major drinking problems about 50% of the time. I find it interesting that those students (and it's not just them; it's much of this school) tend to get drunk Tuesday through Saturday. Those are the kinds of people I tend to avoid.

I suppose all I'm trying to say is this… I agree and understand where you're coming from. I share that outlook on occasions as well, I'll go out to bars/parties and not drink. I will also go to a local coffee shop that has live jazz occasionally and get a glass of wine (yes; it's a coffee / wine establishment). I can also go out to a bar occasionally with some friends and have 3 or so drinks. I have a lot of friends who drink, and some friends who don't. I spend some weekends hiking / playing sports / playing video games never even thinking of alcohol. There's not inherently something wrong with drinking, I think the problem arises when you focus on it too much and it becomes the sole reason for a gathering or event, and things get out of hand.

Sorry for eating up all the space on your comment wall -.- ^^

Alexander.mcna@color says:
Mon, 10th Nov 200810:15 am 

I am glad I found this forum I am on a new program not to drink because I never know how it will end up. A lot of times I end up doing something stupid. I'm lucky I haven't hurt anybody else (as far as I know) I am just struggling with where to find new friends that don't drink so that I have some alternatives for weekend fun. any help or advice would be great thanks.

Patrick says:
Wed, 19th Nov 200811:18 pm 

I never started drinking in college and had a really rough time. I ended up transferring 4 times hoping I would find some place that worked for me, but it never happened. Now at age 24 people my age are finally calming down and I can go to an event and not have to leave at 9 before the conversation dies.

I completely understand about people treating you differently. When I first got to college I decided the best way to meet people like me was to admit I didn't drink and hope there was someone else like me. Unfortunately I didn't realize that if you admit to the future frat boys on your floor that you don't drink, they will blame you every time they get in trouble with the RAs.

I've found other forums like this and no one seems to know what to do as a non-drinker. A lot of people suggest going to bars and parties and just not drinking because they can't figure out what else to do. That's sort of like telling someone who hates ballet to go to the ballet to meet people. Chances are, the people there are going to be pretty enthusiastic about the things you don't like. Frankly I still haven't found an answer, though it seems that the people around me are maturing to the point where it isn't as much of an issue.

Matt says:
Sun, 25th Jan 20094:06 pm 

Honestly from the perspective of a 21 Year Old Male who doesn't drink alcohol the argument of drinking/nondrinking is dumb.

The Media controls the minds of the grand majority of American people and they have already given us all an image of what we are suppose to do in College- Go to a party, get drunk, have sex, and then repeat the process over and over.

Well I have never been to a party since I was 17(And this stems from the fact that I always hated going to them) since people stopped inviting me after they realized I wasn't going to drink, smoke, or get high.

I had a horrible experience in High School so I wasn't accepted into a competitive College when I entered as a Freshman so in almost all my classes everyone was talking about what party was coming up on the weekend. In fact; I'll admit that it was a little irritating that people didn't care about the class/coursework.

Eventually I got out of that College and went to a much more competitive school. Sadly while the students are more focused the concept of "what you are suppose to do in College" set by the media still does exist. And I don't believe that is going to change.

But the real problem is that College isn't as selective nor as intensive as it once was. People can go and be as immature or as unproductive as they want and no one really cares as long as they graduate. So the real questions you should all be asking yourself have nothing to do with what other people are doing; but what you want to accomplish in your own lifes.

By the way, I've gone to Central Michigan University, Oakland University, University of Michigan Ann Arbor. Send me an email if you want to talk about anything.

Eliza Mc Namara says:
Sat, 7th Feb 20091:04 am 

I'm so glad I found this forum, I have never drunk that crap and I always have more fun than everyone else when I go to parties and clubs I don't like to go much maybe once every month, but when I do I have so much fun dancing and talking to people and meeting new people I have a ball:-) The thing that makes me angry is when people who are drunk or who like to drink judge you and ask you if you're religious or something. It's pathetic, they don't know how to have fun that's why they drink. They are too stressed out and unhappy to relax naturally so they use something to create a fake feeling that only makes them feel worse when they wake up the next day. They've also proven that people who drink are 60% more prone to depression than normal people who don't drink at all. Even people who drink it in small amounts. But people still think that they are helping themselves in some weird screwed up way when they drink. I'm so glad I have friends that don't drink now. It's wonderful being able to have fun and let your hair down with people who know how to have fun normally and naturally.

I also find that these people are a lot more fun during the day too!

And more intelligent!

Thankyou, whoever started this I feel so much better knowing that I'm not the only one who knows how to have fun naturally!

Louise says:
Mon, 16th Feb 200910:25 pm 

Wow, I’m so glad I found this. Nearly everything that’s written here mirrors my EXACT thoughts and feelings about this subject. This is going to be a long post, because I’ve spent several years dealing with this on my own and now I need to vent a little I’m a 22 year old girl from Denmark, a country where drinking among young people is a huge problem – the legal drinking age here is 16 (it used to be 15) so alcohol is not exactly hard to come by. I don’t drink. I’ve tried alcohol but never been even remotely close to being drunk. It’s not because I’ve had any horrible personal experiences with alcohol (people always seem to require some specific reason for why you don’t drink, as if it’s any of their business). Drinking is simply not for me, I don’t like it and I’m fine with that. So why is it such a big problem for everyone else? It’s my decision and it doesn’t affect them. If other people want to drink that’s fine with me, so it shouldn’t be a problem for them if I don’t want to. However, I’ve had to defend this decision constantly since the age of 13 – through elementary school, high school and college and it’s getting very tiresome.

I’m also not a party girl at all. It’s really not my idea of fun and I do everything in my power to avoid parties where I know there will be a lot of drinking. I feel very uncomfortable around drunk people and I certainly don’t like watching people I know suddenly change under the influence of alcohol and become different people. It kind of scares me. And the worst part is, they usually turn into idiots.

I just think there are so many ways to have fun without alcohol. Why are people in such a hurry to grow up and prove how “mature” they are by drinking? It usually has the opposite effect. I hate how some people actually brag that they have no idea where they were or what they did last night because they were “sooo wasted”. Yeah, that sounds like an intelligent way to spend an evening…

Carly and Andrea: I couldn’t agree more with your idea of a party! My friends and I like to throw slumber parties where we stay up all night talking, laughing, watching movies and playing games. I’ve never been in a hurry to grow up. I may look like I’m 22 but a part of me will always be 12 years old It makes me sad to see so many young people drinking themselves into oblivion every single weekend. I don’t care how much fun they claim to have – I still don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. On the contrary. And I’m glad to see that there are so many people here who feel the same way! Choosing not to drink is a tough decision to make because it DOES have a major effect on your social life. It’s easy to give in to peer pressure and it takes a very strong person to resist that kind of pressure. I just want to say congratulations to everyone here for making a tough decision and sticking to it.

Best wishes

Louise

Amanda says:
Wed, 25th Mar 20092:19 pm 

Seriously, where are all you people in the world and why can't you go to my school? I feel like i have lost so many friends because of my choice not to drink. I sit home alone on Thursday and Friday nights because my roommate goes out and gets trashed. I wish there were more people like you all in the world, it would make life so much easier.

I don't drink because my dad's an alcoholic, as well as basically everyone from his side of the family. I don't want to become him, and I have seen many disturbing and disgusting things in my life because of their problems with alcohol. I just have such a hard time respecting people who drink. I really try, but I always think how disgusted I am by them in my head. I have tried drinking a few times, but it was not fun for me. I felt extremely guilty and sad. Being a college student at a "party school" is tough. I have met hardly any friends while being here, which has resulted in me feeling more and more like shit on a daily basis. I hate being alone all the time. I hate not having anyone to talk to about these things. I just wish someone shared my views around here.

I wish I could have someone to just play video games with and joke around and not get wasted with. Someone who wouldn't choose drinking over me. Someone who wouldn't brag about how wasted they got and how stupid they acted.

I'm just glad I'm not the only person in the world like this…

Brenna says:
Sun, 29th Mar 20095:49 pm 

I'm a University student as well, and I hate that feel like I'm missing out on something because I don't drink. I'm not completely devoid of alcohol, I will have a drink here or there with close friends or family but I do not fit into the trashy party scenes where "it aint' a part till there's alcohol" is the theme. I don't like the taste, don't like the affect on myself mentally and think that this drink and drunk culture of ours is just stupid. You do not need to get drunk if you drink alcohol *directed at all those people that say "I'm getting so trashed tonight"* and you don't need to drink alcohol to have FUN! I'm so happy there are other people that feel the same. I'm not trying to make a statement, I just don't find drinking fun, nor do I find waterskiing fun but people wouldnt treat me like a prude if I told them THAT.

Chris says:
Tue, 14th Apr 20092:51 pm 

I dont drink…i'm 20 in college and people think i'm weird. why is it weird to NOT do drugs or alcohol? I hate that. i'm pretty sure i'm an alcoholic though, which is why i dont drink.

Mike says:
Thu, 23rd Apr 20098:00 pm 

Alcohol promotes hair loss. Just type in "Alcohol and hair loss" in Google and you'll see.

Mr T says:
Mon, 22nd Jun 20093:14 pm 

Hey wow, this is awesome that I'm not alone out there, wish more people like you guys exist in my end of town

Samantha says:
Wed, 8th Jul 20099:06 am 

I can totally relate to this. I'm not a drinker myself; I choose not to drink, it's my personal decision. I have nothing against those that drink; in fact, I have many friends that do. I just dislike the taste of alcohol. I hate the stares and awkward pauses that some people give me when I tell them that I don't drink. I'm glad to see that there are others like me and I think its something for people like us to be proud of.

A lot of people in today's society abuse alcohol. I wish that people would just be more responsible when it comes to alcohol. If you're going to drink, do it responsibly and because you enjoy it (i.e., have a glass or two of wine with dinner, etc), don't do it to be "cool" or to try and fit in, or to get wasted. I honestly think people look like complete idiots when they get wasted. It's not amusing at all and in fact its quite sad. I know of plenty of people that can appreciate a good wine or a good beer, and drink it becuase they enjoy it and have no intention of getting wasted.

Justin says:
Mon, 24th Aug 20097:16 am 

I totally agree with you. I really don't like to drink and many of my friends in college do. At first they invited me to do stuff with them. Then they realized that I didn't drink and all of a sudden they stopped inviting me to do stuff. I guess that it is because I couldn't relate to them getting drunk every night. It really hurt that the people who I thought were my friends stopped hanging out with me just because I didn't drink. I just started my sophomore year and all of the friends that I thought I had aren't talking to me anymore. I guess that its kind of pathetic that I even hung out with them, when I act completely different from them.

Chris says:
Mon, 24th Aug 20098:52 am 

I may be slightly more open-minded to drinking than most of you guys, but I'm still of the mind that I don't need to get drunk to have fun. On the other hand, I don't see being buzzed as much of a problem – I'd say that's a good compromise. Honestly, I'm the naturally high type, so I don't need to get drunk a parties. I really enjoy the dancing/socializing parts of parties, but never the over-the-top mind-altering indulgences that most party-goers partake in.

When I go out with my good friends, I usually have a couple of beers, a shot or two, and that's about it. Afterwards, it's just "rum+coke" haha! Save for one other friend who doesn't get drunk as a result of his dad's drinking problem, they pretty much all do. In a sense, I do miss how we were in high school, no alcohol or drugs – well, at least they're not addicted to the other "heavy" drugs.

My idea of a party is full of dancing, laughing and socializing – with alcohol downplayed.

Maggie says:
Thu, 27th Aug 20094:16 pm 

This forum is so me. My freshman year everyone on my dorm floor drank and I tried it for awhile then just decided that alcohol hurts so many people and people don't know how to handle themselves with it. Like many of you, I do not have a problem with people who drink. I respect their decision to drink and all I want them to do is respect my decision not to. My social life is almost non-existent because of this choice but I am hoping that karma will reward me someday for my decision.

Brianna says:
Thu, 27th Aug 20095:08 pm 

Thank you so much for writing this. I went to high school with kids who would drink every weekend and have continued to do so now that they're in college. I'm not a social person, either, and would much rather watch a movie or read a book. I often feel like an outsider and feeling weird because I'm the only one who doesn't drink or like to party. Now, I know I'm not the only one. Thanks again for writing this.

Heather says:
Fri, 28th Aug 200910:23 am 

I thought I was the only one!

Yet, I feel so isolated at school. It seems like everyone is drinking, and I don't like that.

I'm not a very outgoing person in the first place, so going to parties isn't really my thing, especially when people are drinking.

I hate how people are always so suprized and think that you are too good for them when I say that I don't drink.

I wish I could find some more people in college, at my school that don't drink, so that when my roommates are out all night, I don't have to sit home all alone.

If any of you go to Central Michigan University, look me up, or send me an email so we can get together. (purple08craze@aol.com)

marco says:
Sat, 29th Aug 20097:09 pm 

i'm EXACTLY like you. everything you said is dead on and it's exactly like i am and how i live!

Elizabeth says:
Sat, 12th Sep 20097:36 pm 

ME TOO!!!!

I just wish I knew where all you guys were in real life! Just because I don't drink or party doesn't mean I don't like to have fun… but unfortunately, drinking seems to be the only way people can have fun in college. I am constantly feeling so alone – reading this made me feel so much better.

kimba says:
Wed, 23rd Sep 20092:20 pm 

Wanna hear something sad…I actaully DO drink, moderatly. By moderatly I mean 1 drink per week (average). However, this is not enough for all of my friends. I am constantly harrassed about not drinking enough. I've been drunk before, several times, and I just didn't really care for it. Most times it ended badly….but not always. It's just not my thing. My family has had problems with acohol and drugs. That could have something to do with it, I don't know. At the end of the day I just don't understand why it make other people sooo uncomfortable that I don't get wasted. Im so glad to hear from others!!

AdvancedGentleman says:
Sat, 26th Sep 200912:39 am 

I have been sober for 7 and a half months now, I am always the designated driver for my friends when they go to parties and I do not mind it one bit. I go to parties to remind myself why I do not drink, I see the party start and everyone is having a good time, nice and buzzed great atmosphere and then some people can not handle alcohol… They start throwing up and yelling or calling someone out and then fights start and then the cops come. Plain and simple, if uncontrolled (which is typical) alcohol leads to bad things, whether it is judgment calls or actions made. When I have a bad day, I sit down and all I can think is, I wish I had some beer or whiskey to mellow me out, then I think of one story imparticular and the thought leaves my head immediately. I was the DD for a group of girls and they are close friends of mine, they all got drunk before the party and had me drive, 2 out of the 3 girls handled their alcohol pretty well, only managing to throw up 4 times on the ride home, the 3rd girl was completely passed out gone, I had to physically carry her from the party to the car where she proceded to puke all over me and herself. When we were in the car I noticed that something smelled really bad, so I cracked the window and it smelled even worse. When we arrived at the girls home, guess who was too passed out to even walk to their rooms? ALL OF THEM!!! I carried one girl to her bed, then went to the next and carried her to her bed, then I got to the third girl and realized that she had not only puked on herself, she had also soiled herself in the backseat. I proceded to puke as I grabbed her and got fecies on my hands, so I said to myself, FUCK IT!!! I let the 3rd girl stay in her car and told myself I would never drink again, that was 7 and a half months ago.

Sara says:
Sat, 3rd Oct 20094:49 pm 

I am a social person. Or was in high school. But now that I am in college I feel like no one wants to have fun like I do. And by fun I mean watching a movie, talking, having a dance party. Just hanging out with a group of people without alcohol. But I can't find that here in college. When all people do is go out and drink. It makes me so sad. But this post has made me very happy.

Rika says:
Wed, 28th Oct 20093:13 pm 

WHERE are you wonderful people and yes why can't you go to my school and live in my residence hall and on my floor so we can watch movies, talk, and have dance parties without alcohol like Sara said! I agree with about 90% of the sentiments on this topic. Someday there'll be a place for us…

anon says:
Thu, 5th Nov 20097:48 pm 

Love to drink. Hate people who don't drink. If you don't drink you're a boring cunt and all your stories suck. All your stories end the same way with, "..and then I got home." – Jim Jeffries, making a good point.

Kerri says:
Sun, 22nd Nov 20095:51 pm 

Jim Jeffries, you're really not making a good point. That was pretty unnecessary and insulting to everyone here (including me) would not agree with you. We're not boring and we don't suck, we just don't make the same choices. Everyone's different and enjoys different things, why do you think that baskin robbins has 31 flavors?? I'm a senior in high school and I have a lot of friends, some drink some don't. Some party and some don't. I'm the one who doesn't drink or party, instead I like to gather really fun scavenger hunts with over 200 people and I also like to organize ski trips and road trips. I have a lot of fun hanging out with my boyfriend and watching The Office and going out to dinner. My friends and I love to have game nights and movie nights. I'm happy with the decision I've made to not drink and I'll respect anyone who does drink. I'm going to college next year and I'm kind of worried about finding a group of friends like everyone here. I'm not boring, I love going out and having fun. It's just that, my fun isn't drinking. I'm really really glad I found this, it's helped me to worry less about next year, thanks!

Laura says:
Fri, 12th Feb 20102:52 am 

I am sitting home alone, thankful that I will be in a much more charming state than my housemates tomorrow morning, but also lonely and wanting some company. I am so relieved to have found these posts. I, like most of you, am in my second year of college and I am sick and tired of being gawped at whenever somebody learns that I do not drink. Being a musician, it is very hard to avoid drunken people and environments, as I often gig in bars and alcoholic venues. I don't much care for the taste of alcohol, nor the way it alters your mind and body. I am outgoing and can have fun without it. Some people feel they can't and that is their decision. However, it is not the substance itself that I fear. It is the manner in which our society abuses it. Violence, vomit and painfully boring and incoherent conversation. Yes, that is what I find at most parties or venues. Anyway, I want to thank all of you for making me feel less alien. I admire all of you.

Elle says:
Mon, 15th Mar 20107:53 am 

Don't allow anyone to pressure you to drink. Until a recent personal experience (I unknowingly married an alcoholic), I did not realize that alcoholism is a huge problem in our society. And why not? Everywhere you look – movies, advertisements, and in magazines – alcohol is promoted as chic, like it's the most natural thing to do to relax and have a good time. Don't even start and risk getting hooked especially if drinking runs in your family. Alcohol ruins lives. Alcohol numbs your feelings. Alcohol causes depression. I am not preaching, just stating facts. TIP: Smoking and alcohol almost always go hand-in-hand. Smoking should warn you about someone's potential drinking habits.

Be grateful if you do not have the desire to drink. Don't be ashamed that you are an exception.

Garrison says:
Wed, 28th Apr 20102:48 pm 

Hate people who don't drink. Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.-Jim Jefferies.

neha says:
Sun, 30th May 20103:21 pm 

I love this.

I am a junior in college and am constantly disappointed at how much not drinking has hindered my social life. Despite having a group of friends and being generally liked by everyone, social gatherings quickly turn into me feeling like the only sane person around. It's depressing and frustrating.

Where are the people who understand me? The few other people I know who don't drink are still not compatible with me as friends. I love dancing, talking, joking and being silly. I don't need anything in my system to loosen me up–just some good company from people I can relate to and respect!

Maria says:
Wed, 2nd Jun 20105:33 pm 

It drives me nuts how I have to say, "Oh it's fine that others do it, I just don't want to." The truth is, I'm not cool with drunkenness at all, it bugs the hell out of me how stupid and embarrassing people quickly become when they get liquored up. I can drink a glass of wine wine with dinner because it enhances the meal or whatever, but, and someone put it quite well several posts ago, the problem occurs when people gather TO drink, as if drinking is the event. I also worry about how college students seemingly never bother to learn how to drink responsibly and instead aim to get wasted, where their functionality nosedives to a resounding zero. Furthermore, considering the hereditary connections of alcoholism, it is statistically guaranteed that several people in any large social setting are tinkering around with a substance that they may be predisposed to finding addictive.

Eric says:
Wed, 2nd Jun 20106:58 pm 

This is a very interesting page with some interesting POVs. I’m a drinker now, but I wasn’t until I was 28. (I’m 37 now.) I didn’t experience the typical college/young adult drinking scene, but I also never had the feelings of isolation or being left out that many others have expressed. I always enjoyed going to clubs & parties to dance–even in college–but in general, I wasn’t very outgoing then. (I am much more outgoing now, but that has nothing to with being a drinker.)

My decision to start drinking was a conscious one. I just decided one day to start trying lots more new things I never tried before and drinking was one of them. (Others included traveling abroad, skydiving, working out, entertaining more, etc. etc.) That being said, I’m glad I made the decision to start drinking. For me it was the right one.

When I look back now, I know that I’d have missed out on a lot if I hadn’t started. While I never felt socially excluded before, I do find it far easier to include others and to be included now–in the U.S. and internationally. I think that’s just natural too. Let’s face it, drinking is a very common social activity and it’s been around in some form or another in most societies for thousands of years. That’s not to say that anyone/everyone should desire get trashed regularly, but being able to speak intelligently about tastes of wine, beer, or spirits genuinely reflects broadened horizons; trying something new despite some reservations reflects an adventurous spirit and an open mind; and having shared experiences really does help people to connect.

When someone says to me that they don’t drink at all, I usually don’t question them why. I’ve been there, and I sometimes mention that I used to be able to say the same thing. That sometimes sparks a conversation. Still, little of that makes me think this person is really open to new experiences, easygoing, adventurous, or just able to really relate to the many different experiences that frequently are accompanied by social drinking. (I know it took me quite awhile to learn that last one.)

All that being said, I do have a few friends who do not drink and also don’t mind being around others who do–sometimes heavily. (Sadly, some judgment-passing does go both ways creating a vicious cycle of mutual non-acceptance.) So they are in the extreme minority, but they are there.

Just my thoughts… Great page!

Jasmine says:
Mon, 12th Jul 20108:12 pm 

Thank you for this post…seriously.. I have felt so alone for the longest time. Im an 19 year old female about to start my sophomore year of college and I feel like a straight up loser because my so called "friends" never call me or invite me anywhere because I don't drink, I feel like I am worth absolutely nothing to them, like I'm disposable and that (besides family) nobody even cares about me. I have unsuccessfully attempted to make new friends in my first year of college, people think that because I don't drink I must not know how to have a good time. I guess everyone's definition of a "good" time is different. Mine happens to involve no alcohol. Last year was extremely difficult for me because I experienced two very diffucult losses of loved ones, had the stress of entering my first year of college, failed half of my classes and didn't realize that I was probably depressed until I had brief thoughts of suicide. It scared the hell out of me when I realized what I was thinking about. This is the first time I have spoken about these thoughts to anyone at all. I just feel like you all might understand just a little about what I was going through. I now have a new job and have started excercising again (which really increases self esteem I might add) still working on finding friends but for now I am content with the choice I have made to stay sober. I think had I been drinking at that difficult time last year, battling those suicide thoughts would have been much harder and who knows what road that would have taken me down.

*sorry I didn't mean to be the Debbie Downer on this forum! It's just nice that I can finally tell someone about everything that was happening with me even if it is on the internet, I gotta tell you it feels good to let it all out!

I respect you all for your decisions, you sound like awesome people!

Libby says:
Fri, 30th Jul 20106:04 pm 

This post makes me so happy! I am going into my junior year of high school and I already made a promise to myself that I won't drink. However, I've been worried lately, not only is this the year where I have to start looking at colleges, but my brother will turn 21 and he said he'll buy me beer. My brother is one of my best friends and I kindly said, "No thanks.", but he keeps on saying, "but you GOTTA drink. You have to try it before college." I don't even want to try it! I hate the smell of it, I hate how it changes perfectly good people into idiots, and I also despise how uncomfortable I feel around drunk people. Plus, I just don't find it appealing at all! I like to be in control, thank you. Like most of you said, I don't judge others who drink. It's there choice to drink and it's my choice to not drink.

The main point of my post is, I am deeply worried that my social life will be ruined because of my choice to abstain from alcohol, unless I get really lucky and find people who won't isolate me because of my decision. I have dreams of college: Studying, hanging with friends, wandering around campus, and enjoying the years. My parents always say college has some of the best years of your life, but with so many people on here saying their social lives were damaged, I'm scared.

I HOPE and PRAY that I find at least one other person who won't drink. I want someone to play video games with late at night, someone to take walks around campus with, or to watch movies with. I am hoping my first year of college will be like my first year of high school: I was confident and I made a lot of friends. But the non-drinking part and being isolated because of it seems…depressing.

I don't understand how drinking, smoking cigarettes & pot, and having sex became the norm. I don't find any of that stuff "fun", I find it reckless and not worth my time.

I am glad I am not the only one who made this decision. All of you guys seem like great people that I'd love to chill with!!

Lilie says:
Thu, 19th Aug 20105:46 pm 

Oh this makes me happy to my bones that I am not alone. All my cousins are having their drinking party in the basement, with all the parents up here in the kitchen. Now and then, the parents would come into the computer room and ask me why I am not downstairs getting wasted with my cousins. Doesn't anyone find it humorous that a parent would happily encouraging their child to get drunk and do something stupid along the way?

V says:
Fri, 20th Aug 20109:07 pm 

Thank you so much for posting this! After reading all of the comments on this page, I finally feel comfortable heading off to college knowing that there are people with the same feelings as me in college.

It's not that I'm not a fun person and that I don't like to have fun, I just think that a person doesn't have to be under the influence of a drug to have fun. Plus, my ideal Friday night is watching a movie, conversing with friends, and remembering the good times.

timetoopenyourmind says:
Tue, 7th Sep 20104:57 pm 

i dont drink alcohol its nasty i smoke weed though i think alcohol is one of the worst drugs you beat ya wife up ya get in to fights and its addicting studies show alcohol is 2x more addicting then weed and alcohol is worse for you then weed alcohol is one of the leading killers when weed has killed noboby

p.s i get looked at crazy to when i say to people i dont drink but im 20 years old i make my own descions lot of people feel like they have to drink when they at a party when i have kids id rather them smoke weed then drink why cause weed is safer and people are chill on weed

Learners says:
Fri, 17th Sep 20103:05 pm 

The reason people try to get you to drink is because they are probably right, most likely you will enjoy it. Drinking is relaxing and puts you at ease. You say you avoid parties because you are shy, and thats why you don't drink. Ironically many shy people go to parties and do drink which puts them at ease and allows them to enjoy parties without feeling uncomfortable.

Honestly, I'm shy myself and I hate speaking in front of groups of people or being put on the spot. This is part of the reason I enjoy drinking. It allows me to lose my nerves and just enjoy myself without thinking about anything. Not encouraging you to become an alcoholic but I'd say its definitely worth a try. Who knows, you might be surprised.

Richard says:
Sat, 18th Sep 20102:50 am 

I know the original post was over 2 years old but I just found and reading about all these non drinkers made me happy.

I'm a shy person and don't really go out much.

I tried beer the other night and I couldn't finish a half pint of it. I didn't like the bitter taste of it and I couldn't finish another glass. The others were looking at me strangely.

It saddens me when all my friends can talk about is how they got smashed on the weekend and threw up all over the place. I haven't thrown up for years, why would I want to force myself to do it?

I miss the days when you could go to a dance party and go nuts without drinking, I miss having conversations with people not about drinking. Maybe I just miss the days of being a young teenager where drinking was seen as taboo.

I live in Australia and my nation is built on drinking and I understand that others like to drink and I accept that but I want to talk to someone and not have them raise their eye brows about hearing how I don't drink.

When I go camping there is a strict rule that you can't drink before 5pm. I love the time before 5pm (even if all they talk about if how much booze they brought with them), after that I usually go and find a nice spot to curl up and think to myself about why do I come to these camps. They won't let me into drinking games with my soft drinks because they aren't alcoholic. I like drinking games, I think they are quite funny.

Ok now I have let out all my frustrations with drinking today. Thanks for reading if you have and I am happy there are people out there that understand me

Amber says:
Fri, 8th Oct 20103:37 am 

YAY!!!!!!!!!! It is so amazingly encouraging to know that there are people from all over the world like me. Im not against alcohol, but im just not interested in it either. I cant really say why exactly, all i know is that i wish i knew people who think the same way as everyone from these posts!

James says:
Sat, 23rd Oct 20102:12 pm 

I've been sober for 2 years, and it feels great. I was hit in the head with a crowbar walking home from a party being wasted,My blood alcohol was .36 level I spent 3 months in a Coma And Had to teach my self how to eat talk and walk all over again.. It's just sad that it took me getting hit in the head to quit. It's hard to find anyone my age who doesn't drink,(23) Ive lost alot of friends bc of it, But That's alright Im happy just being me, And Being Sober….

Sarah Lake says:
Sat, 6th Nov 20103:46 pm 

Wow, James that must have been a terrible experience, I am so sorry. I have always stayed away from alcohol so I don't have any personal bad experiences with alcohol. However, the reason I stay away from it is because alcohol ruined some of my family members' lives.

Im in college and also just hate the atmosphere that comes along with drinking. I too feel as though my not drinking prevents me from making any good friends here. Once someone hears that I don't drink, their attitude toward me totally changes (and not in a good way). I guess maybe Im just in the wrong place. I am looking forward to life after college; hopefully I will meet people who are over the whole party scene.

lex says:
Sat, 13th Nov 201010:50 am 

hey everyone! i just recently started my own blog called sober stories from a college girl and i go over all of my college experiences as a sober person, and my life in college in general. to read more about it, go to http://soberstoriesfromacollegegirl.blogspot.com/ . thanks for your help!

Bruno says:
Wed, 17th Nov 20106:47 am 

Your social life DOESN'T have to suffer IF you're socially intelligent enough. Drinking if you're shy will only make you look pathetic. If you're truly socialized you don't have to drink to relax! It's only an unhealthy shortcut to being relaxed and "social", trust me.
I have a solution for you: Dont get drunk ever (if you have to drink, take one drink or 2 max)!!! But work on honing up your social skills and understanding people. It's a double win, TRUST me. Don't despise people who drink, accept them and manipulate them. That way you'll get status, have fun, become popular etc.

College Girl says:
Sat, 8th Jan 201111:33 am 

Hey! I recently created a blog all about my college experience sans alcohol and drugs and I am so happy that I found this. I would really appreciate it if you check it out, post comments, and just have fun with the site. Go to http://soberstoriesfromacollegegirl.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Taylor says:
Fri, 6th May 201111:25 pm 

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I don't even go to a party school and I have a hard time socially with not drinking. I can only imagine how hard it was if you go to a party school. Oh well, only a few more years!

Brittiny says:
Thu, 27th Oct 201111:43 pm 

I just don’t get it. I grew up dealing with a alcoholic, my father. I just can’t help it, whenever I’m around people that drink, I get a strong desire to kill them. I’m dead serious. They are so lucky I don’t want to go to prision, because I would stab them to death and watch them bleed.

And the reason you guys don’t meet many people who don’t drink, is because they are at home( like me)

Viz says:
Sun, 13th Nov 20116:55 pm 

It's immature when I see comments that are so brutal towards people who don't drink. I personally don't enjoy it, or do it. And i completely agree, you can have a good time without alcohol. In my group of friends, I was usually the goofy one anyway, so I didn't see the point of drinking because it didn't give me a buzz, it usually just made me feel sick. And if anything, I find that people get more uncomfortable when they see me having a good time without drinking, and they seem to condemn me for that. Well, no offence, but if you can't enjoy life without drinking, that's your problem, not mine. If I can enjoy myself without drinking, I'm sticking to it. Sometimes I find that people will force me to drink purely to make themselves feel better about being drunk themselves. I don't want to, no thanks. You chose to do it, if you feel self conscious, and how you go about making yourself feel more confident is your choice. I'm comfortable in my own skin, I don't want to so I'm not going to. You want to, you go ahead, don't drag me down with you.

Stick to your guns! Always go with what you think is right, don't get bullied into it. I've had so many bad experiences of people trying to force me into it, and I've found that I'm stronger than ever. Remember, if they have a problem with it, they clearly have a problem with themselves for having an opinion like that. If people want you to be open minded about them drinking, then they should be open minded back if you don't want to drink. I don't understand why people get angry when people don't want to drink, and by making a fuss themselves, they're being completely hypocritical.

Lauren says:
Mon, 23rd Jan 20122:51 pm 

i don't drink, and i would LOVE to find a guy who doesn't drink, but still likes to have fun and go places! if anyone wants to connect, add me on facebook!